Saturday, May 31, 2008

Disclosure Policy

This blog is written for entertainment purposes only, and should not be considered instructional or factual in nature. We are not compensated to provide opinions on products, services, websites and various other topics. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog owners'. If we claim or appear to be experts on a certain topic or product or service area, we will only endorse products or services that we believe, based on our expertise, are worthy of such endorsement. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider.

This blog accepts forms of cash advertising. The compensation received will never influence the content, topics or posts made in this blog. All advertising is in the form of advertisements generated by a third party ad network. Those advertisements will be identified as paid advertisements.

No infringement on anyone’s copyright(s) is intended. The characters of 'Margie' and 'Edna' are the sole intellectual property of the authors and are not to be used elsewhere without express permission.

Privacy Policy

We use third-party advertising companies to serve ads when you visit our website. These companies may use information (not including your name, address, email address, or telephone number) about your visits to this and other websites in order to provide advertisements about goods and services of interest to you. If you would like more information about this practice and to know your choices about not having this information used by these companies, click here.

The DoubleClick DART cookie is used by Google in the ads served on publisher websites displaying AdSense for content ads. When users visit an AdSense publisher's website and either view or click on an ad, a cookie may be dropped on that end user's browser. The data gathered from these cookies will be used to help AdSense publishers better serve and manage the ads on their site(s) and across the web.

  • Google, as a third party vendor, uses cookies to serve ads on our site.
  • Google's use of the DART cookie enables it to serve ads to our users based on their visit to our sites and other sites on the Internet.
  • Users may opt out of the use of the DART cookie by visiting the Google ad and content network privacy policy.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Ice Cream Social


Margie: Edna, it sure is hot today. It reminds me of when we were girls and Daddy would bring out the old crank ice cream freezer. Remember? Mama sure knew how to make a fine ice cream mix.

I recall how all my beaus would rush to get to be the first to bring me a bowl. My goodness, I was so spoiled by those fine young men. I was quite the belle of the ice cream social.

Edna: I surely do remember that homemade ice cream, there's just nothing to beat it nowadays. I also remember our young gentlemen friends bringing you bowls of ice cream, but it surely wasn't to court you. It was to keep your mouth occupied so you wouldn't keep flapping your gums--Stanley Richmond's grandpa told me so.

Margie: Edna, you cannot spoil my fond memories with your warped perceptions! Stanley's grandpa was an imbecile as you well know. Don't think I'm too dumb to know why he always fetched your ice cream!

Edna: Margie, don't you ruin this perfectly nice blog post with your sass, I won't have it! Besides, I'm only telling the truth.

Now, to get back to the ice cream, do we still have any of those old recipes Mama used to use?

Margie: We sure do, Edna. Mama made a little folder for us and it has all her recipes in it. I could sure eat some strawberry about now.

Edna: Oh, so could I. How about we invite Cousin T over for an ice cream social?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Margie Discovers Supernatural


Margie: Edna, I know why you want to hide those Supernatural DVD's. You want those young men all to yourself. Let me tell you something, you nitwit, demons killed their mother so they aren't interested in a demon like you.

Edna: I'm going to ignore your insults, you harpy. Besides, those two nice boys would probably appreciate the guidance of a genteel older woman like myself. You, they'd throw holy water on and shoot full of rock salt.

Margie: Genteel? Get a grip, hussy. I think I'd prefer holy water to burning up on the ceiling or being drowned in my bathtub. I'm scared to take a bath these days after watching that show. Maybe I should call that sweet voice Dean to protect me when I'm in the tub?

Edna: Don't hold your breath waiting for him to come running. I guess I don't blame you for being scared about the bathtub thing, but people are starting to talk about your, uh, lack of personal hygiene. I'm embarrassed to go to town these days because of you.

Margie: Edna, you're very rude. I can't help it that water scares me. I can't even comb my hair. Don't you remember Bloody Mary and how she came out of those mirrors? Lordy, she sure did resemble you. Why don't you go look in the mirror and say "Bloody Mary" three times? If nothing happens, I won't be scared anymore. Go on, Edna.

Edna: I don't know how you can call me rude, spouting insults like you do. You know, I'm being nice by letting you watch my Supernatural DVDs. Much more of this nonsense, I'm taking those DVDs away from you for good. So just watch your step, you old bat.

Margie: Okay, Edna. I think I'll go watch some more of this show. I can't tell you how happy I am that I discovered it. I think everybody should watch it, don't you?

Edna: Of course I do, but they should buy their own copies instead of stealing them from unsuspecting relatives like someone else I could mention.


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Josh Holloway loves ice cream!

Edna: My lands Margie, take a look at this ice cream commercial that young man from LOST made. I guess it’s for some Turkish company; Lord knows that if they ran that commercial in this country, there’d be a run on ice cream bars.

Margie: Lord have mercy, Edna. I need to open a basement in Turkey!

Edna: For once, I'm in agreement with you. You know, that man can ice down my ankle any day--I do so love a gentleman with a twinkle in his eye.

Margie: And I love a man who feeds me ice cream.

Edna: Margie, that sounds like a story for another time.


To watch some of Josh's recent American TV appearances, go here, here, and here.

And don't forget to watch the two-hour LOST season finale on Thursday night starting at 9PM EST!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Cousin T's YouTube Tour-Part Two

For a long time I thought it would be somethin' special to write your own music for one of them mechanical band organs like you see at the fair. Well, this fella John Linnell went ahead and did that. As far as I can tell the song does not have much to do with Illinois and it seems to have even less to do with mutiny but the octopus has the right idea. You would need a bunch of arms to play something like this.

Margie: Edna, do you think I should explain to Cousin T what this video is about? Remember when the library sent me to Illinois on business and I met another librarian named Jeffrey? Octopus would describe him perfectly. Well, it actually describes his hands.

Edna: Margie, no one here wants to listen to any of your salacious stories. Besides, I think this video is open to interpretation; you just leave the boy alone, I like this one a lot. Thank you for bringing this one by the basement, Cousin T!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Memorial Day 2008


American Memorial Day (originally known as Decoration Day) first began as a tribute to fallen Civil War soldiers. Various towns throughout America had been honoring their lost veterans for several years after the official end of the war. However, it was first widely recognized and celebrated on May 30, 1868, by proclamation of General John A. Logan of the Grand Army of the Republic.

“In 1966, the federal government, under the direction of President Lyndon Johnson, declared Waterloo, N.Y., the official birthplace of Memorial Day. They chose Waterloo—which had first celebrated the day on May 5, 1866—because the town had made Memorial Day an annual, community-wide event during which businesses closed and residents decorated the graves of soldiers with flowers and flags.”

In 1971, US Congress declared that Memorial Day would be observed as a national holiday, which would be celebrated on the last Monday in May. And after World War I, many communities across America began to use Memorial Day to honor those soldiers who died in all of America’s wars.

Please take a moment today to say some words of thanks to all soldiers, living or dead, who have fought bravely and sacrificed so much to protect our freedoms.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Ask Margie and Edna


Ask Margie and Edna

Here’s your chance to get some advice from Jericho’s #1 source of information and gossip. Do you have a question for Margie and Edna? Submit your questions, and Margie and Edna will tackle your toughest problems and concerns.

Send your questions to Put “Ask Margie and Edna” in the subject line. We reserve the right to edit questions for length, spelling, etc. Please bear in mind, it’s possible that not all questions will be selected to be answered. Keep watching this space, maybe Margie and Edna will answer your question next!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only. "Margie" and "Edna" are not real people, so please don't send us questions about serious issues, or questions that you'd be better off asking a professional. Thank you!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Margie and Edna: Elvis Lives


Margie: Here's a picture of me, Cousin T, and Cousin T's mama when we first met Elvis. I knew your head had a purpose, Cousin T.

Margie: Edna, I was just thinking about the time I had Elvis in the basement for a visit. What a lovely gentleman he was. We had Special Tea and I made his favorite peanut butter sandwiches. You were gone to Paris, Texas so that made his visit even more special.

Edna: Margie, every time you open your mouth, you give me cause to worry about your mental status. First of all, I went to Paris, France, not Paris, Texas. Second of all, when I was in Paris, France, that young man was barely out of short pants, so I can't imagine you'd have been "entertaining" him in the basement. You always did get your stories mixed up.

Margie: You are a lying liar. You have never been to France, fool. If you'd been to France you'd know some French words like the ones Elvis whispered to me.

Edna: Land sakes, how could I have heard what he whispered to you, you maroon? But, I'm betting what he actually said to you was "Vous etes fou et dangereuse" and then he escaped from the basement, yelling "Aidez-moi!"

Margie, you're the lying liar, you know full well that I've been to France. You're just saying I haven't to vex me, and it surely is working! Besides, you know the government asked me not to talk about it, so that's all I'm going to say about that.

Margie: And I have a final word for you, you Nut! Who do you think took Elvis in when he tired of the spotlight? Elvis lives! In my basement.

Here are the pictures I took of him in the basement, you fool.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Margie and Edna: Discovering Supernatural

Margie: Edna, I'm glad you went to the bake sale but my arthritis was acting up so I just laid on the couch while you were gone. I got a little bored so I went in your room and found these little DVD thingies and watched this show called Supernatural. I do so love those two young men!

Edna: That's it, I'm calling Cousin T over here right away to put a sturdy lock on my bedroom door. Margie, you always were a sneaky snoop.

Margie: Edna, I locked the DVDs in the basement. They're in good hands and I don't mean Allstate.

Edna: Well! Isn't that just like you, wanting to hoard all the good things for yourself? I'm calling Deputy Jimmy over to arrest you, those DVDs are my property, you selfish old hag!

Margie: Edna, your name wasn't on them but mine is so just go call him. You'll be the one in jail! Who's selfish, you idiot?

Edna: Margie, Deputy Jimmy knows you well enough to know how unscrupulous you are. If I say they're mine, he'll believe me, no matter whose name is on them. Besides, I have the receipt, you deceitful shrew!

Look, I'm not going to argue about this with you any more. Just hand them over and I promise to drop the charges. I even promise not to leave the basement door open when Deputy Jimmy comes over.

Margie: Edna, are you sure you have that receipt???

Edna: Yes, I'm sure. I have multiple copies in very safe places. I always was smarter than you, you dimwit.

Margie: You're so hateful, Edna. I thought we'd spend a quiet afternoon talking about Supernatural but I do believe you have become a demon.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Margie and Edna: How To Stay Safe


Never give out information over the phone indicating you are alone or that you won't be home at a certain time.

Margie: Edna, this is just stupid! If I didn't give out this information over the phone then how would all my gentlemen know when I'm home alone?

Edna: Margie, they’re just saying that they don’t want you to tell that to people you don’t know. And I’ve heard you do that, you hussy! You give that information out to any male over the age of 18 that calls here, whether you know them or not.

Keep your home well lit at night, inside and out; keep curtains closed.

Margie: I always keep my curtains closed, Edna. There might be somebody's wife out in our well-lit yard trying to peep inside.

Edna: Margie, you know good and well that the reason you keep your curtains closed is because of complaints from the neighbors about your exhibitionist tendencies. Don’t try and deceive our readers.

If you arrive at home and suspect a stranger may be inside, DON'T GO IN. Leave quietly and call 911 to report the crime.

Edna: My lands, I would never go in the house if there was a stranger in there! I’d call Deputy Jimmy right away from our portable cellular telephone; he always answers my distress calls lickety-split.

Margie: Edna, you use any excuse to call Deputy Jimmy and you know he is not interested in an old windbag like you.

Use "Neighbor Watch" to keep an eye on your neighborhood.

Edna: Well, my sister and I are a two-woman “Neighbor Watch” team. Some days, watching our neighbors is more fun than watching the television. We just pop us up a bowl of Jiffy-pop, pour us some special tea, and go out on the porch to watch the show.

Margie: That reminds me, Edna, the neighbors are having a cocktail party in a few minutes. You grab the popcorn while I get the special tea and our binoculars.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Margie's School of Romance


Margie: Edna, you know men have changed. They used to be gentlemen but men of today have lost their sense of romance. I believe in education so I'm going to start teaching classes in the basement.

Margie's School of Romance
Opening Soon
For gentlemen of all ages

Edna: Margie, I don't think you're qualified to be teaching that class. I think you'd better offer a money-back guarantee, because I know you're going to have some unsatisfied customers.

Margie: Edna, I haven't had an unsatisfied customer yet. Don't you remember how it felt when you got a lovely letter from a nice gentleman? I'm talking about a letter praising your virtues? Forget it, you don't have any.

Edna: As everyone in Jericho knows, there is no lady more virtuous than I am, so I surely would enjoy receiving a letter from a nice gentleman. I wouldn't want one from the men in your class though; anyone who looks to you for guidance about romance would have to be off their rocker.


Ask Margie and Edna

Okay folks, here’s your chance to get some advice from Jericho’s #1 gossip mavens. Do you have a question for Margie and Edna? Submit your questions, and Margie and Edna will tackle your toughest problems and concerns.

Send your questions to Put “Ask Margie and Edna” in the subject line. We reserve the right to edit questions for length, spelling, etc. Please bear in mind, it’s possible that not all questions will be selected to be answered. Keep watching this space, maybe Margie and Edna will answer your question next!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only. "Margie" and "Edna" are not real people, so please don't send us questions about serious issues. And please don't send us questions that you'd be better off asking a professional, as we are not qualified to answer such questions.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Jerichon 2008


Edna: Margie, come look at this flyer we got in the mail, it's talking about something called "Jerichon." Have you heard about this?

Margie: Jerichon? What is that, Edna? I haven't heard a thing about it. Maybe they meant Jericho?

Edna: Oh my Lord, stop the presses, I've heard something before my sister did! Just a minute, let me calm myself down and I'll take another look-see at the flyer... Well, it looks like it's a convention for people who love Jericho. It says here that they're going to gather in Oakley, KS from May 23rd to the 26th, and all they're going to do is talk about our little town. Can you imagine?

Margie: Stop the dimwit! I knew that. I was just trying to stop you from going.

Why are they going to Oakley, Edna, when Jericho is right here? They could all drop by the basement.

Edna: I think you just answered your own question, sister. I wish it was closer to home so we could go. Do you think they'd send us a postcard?

Margie: You're right, Edna. Nobody wants to come see you. I believe that nice Morgan would send us a postcard. Maybe she could bring some food by too. I don't think we should try to drive that far since we're getting older now.

Edna: It surely doesn't look like anyone's going to offer us a ride to this thing, either. Well, if people want to know more about the convention, they can go here and take a gander. Looks like a lot of fun, doesn't it?


Although online pre-registration has ended, you can still register at the door in Oakley this weekend.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Jericho BBQ: 1951


Margie: Edna, remember that time Daddy threw a BBQ for the whole town?

Edna: I do. I remember the contests, too.

Margie: Which ones were your favorites, Edna? I liked Hogtie the Cowboy myself.

Edna: I just knew you were going to say that, Margie. My favorite was the unofficial "kissing contest" I ran back behind the barn. Good thing Daddy never knew about that.

Margie: Edna, there is nothing like a BBQ flavored kiss from a hogtied cowboy. Daddy would have chained you to your bed if he'd known that, Edna.

Edna: Frankly, I'm amazed you never told him, you always were such a little snitch. Now, you want to tell me why you're bringing all this up now?

Margie: Because Daddy made a movie of our BBQ & Cousin T put it on this YouTuber place. Watch.

From AuroraKismet

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Freedom Of Speech


If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind. --John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)

Edna: Margie, I think it’s safe to say that anyone who knows us (and reads our blog) understands how much we cherish our right to complain about anything and everything under the sun. But what if we didn’t have that freedom?

Margie: If we didn't have that freedom, Edna, I'd point out that I have the right to own and bear arms and shoot anybody who wants me to shut up.

Edna: Trust you to take this in a violent direction, you ninny. You know, I'm trying to make a point about how lucky we are. Turn up your hearing aid and listen. Think about all those poor people who don't have the right to say whatever they want, whenever they want. They get threatened by their own governments for speaking their minds, and that's unfair.

Do you remember that speech that FDR gave back in 1941, the "Four Freedoms" speech?

Margie: Of course it's unfair, Edna, but what can we do? It's like when you threaten me to hush up. That's not fair either.

I do remember that speech. FDR talked about freedom of speech and expression. I have some things I'd like to express to you.

Edna: Well, FDR had the right idea: he said that one of the fundamental human freedoms, for ALL humans, was the right to freedom of expression. I think he'd be sad to see that while it's true today for some people, it's not true for everyone.

As for what we can do about it? I think that we can use our freedom of speech to tell others about this and make them aware of what's going on. I know that if I lived somewhere where I couldn't express myself, I wouldn't be at all happy.

And I don't "threaten" you to "hush up." I urge you to try and make sense for once in your life. Two completely different things, sister.

Margie: FDR also said all humans should be free from fear. Nobody is free of fear if they live with you. You need to hush up and tend to your own business.

Edna: Oh honey, I surely do hope that you're not telling me what to say, because I will go ballistic on your wrinkled tushie. Try me and see.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Older Americans Month


Margie: Edna, this is Older Americans Month. I like what this article says about us being role models. I know I've always tried to live by the highest standards to show young ladies how important it is.

Edna: Margie, please don't make me call you a liar in front of our readers.

Margie: This is very interesting, Edna. My goodness. There are 9.7 million veterans over 65. How many do you think are men? I'd better start going to the VFW.

Edna: I didn't know that there were that many older veterans, either. For once I like the way you think, sister. Let's pack up some of our special tea and head down to the Jericho VFW--those soldier boys always did appreciate a trim ankle and a coy smile.

"Older Americans Month originated with a presidential proclamation in May 1963. It has been proclaimed by presidents every year since then. Last year, President Bush stated, “Older Americans help others to understand the past, and they teach timeless lessons of courage, endurance and love. Through their legacy of patriotism, service, and responsibility, America's seniors also unite families and communities and serve as role models for younger generations.”


James Garner had a stroke last week and is hospitalized, but they say he's recovering and should be released soon. Get well soon, Jim!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

National Strawberry Month


Margie: Edna, I was just thinking about how I love strawberries. Remember how we used to go pick them then Mama would make jam and jelly?

Edna: Those wild strawberries were the sweetest I ever tasted, and Mama's jams and jellies were like summer in a jar.

Margie: Have you ever eaten a double strawberry, Edna? Legend says that if you break the strawberry in half and share it with a member of the opposite sex, you will soon fall in love with each other.

Edna: I've never heard that.... Margie, I do have to confess something. I shared double strawberries with each of your ex-husbands, which I guess explains why they all left you for me. I suppose I should apologize, although the only regret I truly have is that they were all duds as paramours. Those strawberries sure did taste mighty fine, though.

Margie: Edna, you're a double idiot. Why don't you make some sense and tell our readers where they can see more about our lovely hometown?

Edna: Well, they can always watch the "documentaries" that some moving picture company named CBS made about our little town of Jericho not too long ago. I've been watching them online every Tuesday night at 10PM EST. There's just something about that day and time that fills me with nostalgia.

Strawberry print courtesy of

Monday, May 12, 2008

Margie and Edna: Mental Health


Edna: Margie, did you know that May is National Mental Health Month? That's a subject that's near and dear to my heart.

Margie: I guess that's true, Edna, because you've been needing mental health for almost a century.

Edna: How dare you, I'm not nearly that old! And just remember Margie, however old I am, you'll always be older. Could we please just get on to discussing Mental Health Month?

Margie: Sure. I've done some research and here are some places where folks can find all types of information.

The National Mental Health Association

Health Finder

National Alliance on Mental Illness

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day!


With love,

Friday, May 9, 2008

Margie and Edna: Supernatural

Margie: Edna, I always have loved moving pictures. They're much better than those old pictures you cut out of magazines. I really like this YouTuber place, don't you?

Edna: My lands, it is just like you to suddenly "discover" something I've already been enjoying forever. But yes, I do like YouTube quite a bit, it's amazing how many wonderful things that people put up there.

Margie: I have my eye on somebody and I can watch him all all day in these videos. It's just a matter of time before Jensen Ackles falls under my spell.

Edna: Back off, you hussy, I saw him first.

I suppose if you really want to watch a video with him in it, you should watch a good one. Here's one of my favorites.


Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Margie and Edna: VE Day

It's Margie and Edna at the USO.


Edna: Margie, you always did love hogging the limelight. Look at you, you didn't want to share those soldier boys with anyone, let alone your own sister. What a hussy.

Margie: I didn't share either, did I Edna? I love a man in uniform. Well, I just love men. I did my part for the war effort is all I'm going to say.

Edna: I think that's all you'd better say, this is a family blog.

Margie, take a listen to this, it's the live broadcast of when Edward R. Murrow reported from London when they were celebrating the end of the war. What a happy time that was, remember?

To read more about VE Day, please go here.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Cousin T's YouTube Tour

Edna: We'd like to start a new series here at the Basement, highlighting some of the more interesting clips to be found over at that wonderful YouTube website. Our favorite Cousin T has volunteered to sort through the millions of clips and find and discuss his favorites. Some of our regular readers know Cousin T by his Jericho name, Terocious, but we know him as that nice young man who comes and fixes our basement door from time to time.

Margie: Edna, as much as I adore Cousin T, he sure does seem attached to those trains of his. Wouldn't you like to go take a nice train ride? I knew this conductor once...

Edna: Hush up Margie, and let the poor boy introduce his clip.

Cousin T: I like this one a lot. First off 'cause it's a train video and I love train videos and second off 'cause that bit in the beginning tricks you into thinking you are going to be doin' a lot of readin' but then the readin' stops and there you are in the middle of the desert watching this amazin' long train. I like the way the shadows from the train are just as dark as they want to be and it is all synched up to this Peter Gabriel music which I think comes from "The Passion of the Christ".

Thank you, Cousin T, for that wonderful video. We love a video that makes us believe we're going to be doing one thing then we're in the desert.

You send us another one soon.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Be Kind To Animals Week

Margie: Edna, hold on to your bloomers because I'm going to give you a compliment. You're a mean-spirited, hateful sister but I know you love animals and would never hurt them. For that, I thank you.

Edna: I never thought I'd say this, but you're absolutely right, Margie. I do love animals, they are often kinder and more loving to us than most humans are to each other. That's why they deserve our kindness in return.

The American Humane Association created Be Kind to Animals Week in 1915 to celebrate the unique bond between humans and animals. We would like to share a few ways in which you can also be kind to animals.

Adopt your pet from a shelter or rescue. Approximately 8 to 12 million animals enter shelters every year, and more than half of these pets will have to be euthanized because of a lack of homes. Local shelters are the best place to find companion animals, even purebreds -- one out of every four dogs in a shelter is a purebred.

Teach the people in your life, especially children, about the importance of being kind to animals.

Spay or Neuter your pets -- this is a big step to controlling pet overpopulation

Never tolerate animal cruelty -- report animal abuse to your local humane society or animal control agency.

Be aware of Black Dog Syndrome and educate others. So many black dogs and cats are not adopted because of their color. Why? Go here for information.


Sunday, May 4, 2008

It's Cinco de Mayo


Margie: Edna, today is a Mexican holiday. What's it called? Sink something or other.I guess it must be about some war with ships.

Edna: Margie, once again you embarrass me with your idiocy. It's called Cinco de Mayo, you ninny. And you call yourself a woman of the world.

Margie: I sure do like Mexican food. Those chimneychangers are my favorites.

Edna: I'm going to stuff a "chimneychanger" in your mouth if you don't hush up and listen to this.

"Cinco de Mayo is a date of great importance for the Mexican and Chicano communities. It marks the victory of the Mexican Army over the French at the Battle of Puebla. Althought the Mexican army was eventually defeated, the "Batalla de Puebla" came to represent a symbol of Mexican unity and patriotism. With this victory, Mexico demonstrated to the world that Mexico and all of Latin America were willing to defend themselves of any foreign intervention. Especially those from imperialist states bent on world conquest."

For fun recipes go here.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Good health, BAD ideas


Edna: Margie, we’ve been pretty lucky so far in that we have enjoyed better health than two old ladies have a right to. But I know some people aren’t so lucky. And I think when you’re desperate for some relief from whatever ails you, you may not use the best judgment in choosing a product to help.

Margie: That's true, Edna. I've done many things to try and cure my hemorrhoids as you well know.

Edna: Margie, you have just given our readers way too much information.

I have seen some pretty crazy things in my day, but the ones on this list simply take the cake. I’m no medical doctor, but these just seem like bad ideas to me.

1. Botox. Yes, I know people in Hollywood love it, and even housewives have Botox injection parties. But any process that combines the words, “needle,” “face,” and “botulism injection” just seems like a bad idea, I don’t care if it is FDA-approved.

Margie: Edna, I saw Priscilla Presley on TV and she had that Botox face. Hers is the only face I've seen that's uglier than yours.

Edna: But at least I’ve aged gracefully, unlike someone else I could mention. Now, take a look at this next one:

2. The tapeworm diet. Now, I can’t tell for sure if this is a joke or not. Take a look, Margie, what do you think?

Margie: Edna, I am not even going to look at that. You know I'm not partial to any worm.

I don’t blame you, I almost threw up all over the computer. In this day and age when the cost of food has skyrocketed, would anyone seriously entertain this as a good way to lose weight? From their website: How it works...You take one or two cysts and then the worm will attach to the wall of your small intestine. It will grow over the course of three months to a length of three feet. Then around day 85 you will take a dose of medicine to kill the worm. Then you let your body rest for a month and decide if you want do it again. You do this until you have achieved your weight loss goals.” Mind you, these “cysts” have been dissected out of an infected cow. You read that right: AN INFECTED COW. Still seem like a good idea? For a real eye-opener, take a look at their frequently asked questions.

3. Murine Earigate System. Okay, I admit, this one may not be as bad of an idea as it appeared on the TV commercials. Remember how we saw that commercial and thought they were blowing out the earwax with compressed air?

Margie: Yes, and you tried it and blew your brains out.

Hush, you ninny. I stand corrected about that commercial, because their website says that the product’s “patented reverse-spray nozzle gently sprays natural-source sea water backwards out of the ear, cleansing the canal without pressure on sensitive ear drums.” Sea water? Margie, remember that time we went on that family vacation to the Gulf Coast in our old Model T, and Mama made us put alcohol drops in our ears to get the sea water out after we went swimming? What is this world coming to when you'd actually spray it into your ears?

Margie: Mama wouldn't cotton to that idea one bit, Edna. We'd best stick to doing what Mama said.

Edna: I think you’re right.
I swan, maybe we should start bottling up our special tea and marketing that as a health aid. If you squirted some of that in your ear, it surely would take care of the earwax right quick.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin