Thursday, September 30, 2010

Those were the days.

Margie: Edna, I'm calling Pastor tomorrow. I was mortified at church today. Did you see some of the clothes those young people were wearing? Some of them weren't so young either.

That's just shameful! Nobody in church wants to see tattoos or bare legs or any body part hanging out. Mama and Daddy would have locked us in the barn if we'd ever dressed like that!

Edna: Margie, in our day nobody would have known where to even find clothes like that. Well, outside of the ragbag anyway. I tell you, sister, gone are the days when women wore gloves to shop and nobody went out in public without a hat, women or men.

Margie: That's true, Edna. Oh, do you know what I heard at the beauty parlor? Those young women were making fun of Leave It To Beaver's mother because she cooked while dressed in her good clothes.

Pictured:  Margie's hero

Margie:  June Cleaver had class. Mama used to wear her good dress and ear bobs when she cooked. People have no pride in their appearance anymore, sister.

Edna: They really don't. If I see one more young man walking around with his pants around his knees and his drawers showing, I'm going to scream. Every time I see that, I want to go over and yank up his pants and then ask him if his mother knew he left the house that way.

Personally, I don't think anyone would fall down dead if they had to dress up to go out in public. It wouldn't kill anyone to watch where they're walking instead of keeping their head down and texting, either, but that's a post for another day.

Margie: I agree, sister. Even the Boy Scouts are so busy texting that they no longer help old ladies.

Edna: Yes, but do they at least still wear those natty Scout uniforms? I do so admire a gentleman in uniform.

Margie: Floozy!

Edna: Get your mind out of the gutter! You know as well as I do that boys grow up to be men. Heavens, you'll have our readers thinking the wrong thing of me. As usual.

Margie, I think that if people dressed up nice to go out in public, they'd behave nice too. It's all psychological, you know. If you're dressed up in your good clothes, you'll act better because nobody wants to mess up their Sunday best by getting in a fight or some such nonsense.

Margie: Edna, are you sure about that? I always took off my good clothes until I was finished acting badly. Get my drift, sister?

Edna: I said in PUBLIC, you hussy. What you do in private is nobody's business but yours. Goodness knows the rest of us don't want to hear about it.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Supernatural, the sixth season

Margie: Edna, I must say that I surely enjoyed Supernatural's premiere even if it has moved to Friday night. I always have a Friday night date but I let everybody know that I belong to my Jensen on Friday.

Did you like the show, sister? I heard you mumbling to yourself a lot.

Edna: It's because I was worried and confused. You know that Mr. Kripke isn't in charge of things any more so I was worried about how Ms. Gamble would take care of the show. She loves the boys, so I think my worry was for nothing.

But I'm confused because I don't know if I should trust their grandfather or not. You can't always trust family, and maybe especially if they've been raised from the dead.


Margie: Well, I don't know about it being a gamble but the ratings are good. I was sorry to see Dean wearing a shirt the whole time too.

I know I have family I can't trust, Edna, but you best stay dead when you die or I'll fill you full of salt! 

Friday, September 24, 2010

Supernatural: The end begins

Edna: Margie, in honor of this being the last season ever of Supernatural, I've been saving up my money and I bought us something special. Cousin T found and fixed up a black 1967 Impala for me, now we can go tooling around just like Sam and Dean! What do you think?


Margie: Edna, I'm not riding with you so you best find a driver. One of those young men will do fine. I'll be sitting between them in the front seat. They might need direction.

Edna: Pfft. I'm driving no matter what you think, so you can either ride along with me or stay at home. Oh, and don't forget: driver picks the music and passenger shuts her cake-hole.

Margie: Forget it. I'll just call and have one of my gentlemen friends come over. I hope you end up in the big house.

Edna: Spiteful demon.

Supernatural returns tonight on the CW at 9EST for its sixth and final season.  Margie and Edna will be there with bells on, will you?

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Bloggers Unite: World Gratitude Day


Margie: Edna, today is World Gratitude Day. Instead of your usual complaining why not tell about your gratitude?

For instance, I'm grateful that we have our friend, Crystal. I would like to thank her for listening to me rant about you.

Edna: I'm grateful for the self-control that prevents me from slipping alum in your oatmeal every morning.

I'm also grateful for my health. I can see, hear, and walk, and that's a daily blessing.

Margie: Well, you sure don't do any of those things well. I'm also grateful that we had no other siblings. Thank you, Mama and Daddy, for only inflicting this one moron upon me.

Of course, I'm very grateful for Cousin T. I don't know what we'd do without that boy.

Edna: I'm grateful for Cousin T, too. He's got a patient nature and a generous soul.

I'm also grateful that I'm not as mean as you are, Margie. The good Lord saw fit to give me a kind and sweet personality, everyone says so.

Margie: Edna, the good Lord gave you a lying liar nature. The only sweet about you is your sweet tooth.

I'm also grateful for Mr. Hershey. My word, what if he hadn't discovered chocolate?

Edna: Oh Lord. First of all, Mr. Hershey didn't discover chocolate, you ninny. Second of all, if YOU hadn't discovered Hershey's Kisses, maybe you'd still have all of your original teeth instead of those clickety-clack dentures.

I'm grateful for having my own room with a door that shuts and locks.

Margie: I'm glad my hearing aid has an off switch!

It's World Gratitude Day:  Simply show someone what you are grateful for. Thank your family, friends, teacher, church, mentor, coach, boss, or heroes. 

Friday, September 17, 2010

Fall TV is here!

Edna: Margie! Haul your carcass in here and help me move this furniture. It's going to benefit you too, so don't you crab at me about it.

Margie: Oh my back! Edna, the Dr. said I can't move anything. I'll just sit here and watch you.

Edna: Not if you're planning on watching TV this fall with me, you won't. I want to get the living room sofa angled just so because there's always a glare from where I sit. I don't want to miss any little bit of Nathan Fillion's face when Castle comes back on Monday.


Margie: Sister, I don't think his face is all you like. Floozy. Maybe I will help then I'll be in the hospital where I'll have a TV all to myself.

Edna: Double win for me! You'll be out of my hair for a while and I won't have to listen to you whine about how I didn't make enough popcorn.

I know we both are looking forward to Castle and Supernatural coming back. Are there any new shows you particularly want to watch this season?

Margie: Well, I like the looks of The Event. That Blair Underwood can fill my screen anytime. You also know that my biker boys are back in Sons of Anarchy.

I'm looking forward to The Whole Truth too. Of course, nobody ever tells the truth anymore.

Edna: I'd say you're uniquely qualified to make that statement, sister.

You know, I like the looks of that new show, Undercovers. There's an actor on it who looks a whole lot like our Mayor Green, but surely that's just a coincidence.

Margie: Leave it to a floozy like you to want to watch something about Undercovers. You'd really like it even more if the Mayor is in it.

Edna, I hope you know that Supernatural will be on Friday nights now. I like that. I'll have Jensen dreams all weekend. Talk about Undercovers. Whee!


Edna: Oh good Lord, you're useless. Fine, I'll move the furniture myself but just know I'm picking the best seat in the house next week once the new shows start. I get to hold the remote control, too.

Margie: I hope you don't think that's some big news flash, nitwit.

Edna: I'll take that as agreement with me, you harpy, and our readers will back me up on that.

Monday, September 13, 2010

The wishing trips

Edna: Margie, I've seen many an odd sight in my time. I once saw a two-headed cow at the county fair. I even saw you try to dance the lambada once with Stanley Richmond's grandfather. I guess the world is full of oddities.

Margie: Well, I once saw a two-faced sister. How's that? Oh, one thing I saw was an albino squirrel. That was a strange sight. It was sort of odd like that time you turned green after drinking so much hooch.

Edna: Pfft, an albino squirrel isn't so odd. Cousin T would say that's probably just a regular squirrel that had himself a scare.

Now, one thing I've always wanted to see was that giant elephant building they have over there in New Jersey. That must be a sight! What do you suppose would possess someone to build such a thing?

Margie: Edna, I suspect they built it to attract morons who'd pay to look at the ugly thing.

I'd like to see that Corn Palace in South Dakota. I do love my corn. Why do you think they wasted all that corn on a palace? I'd put it in my freezer for hard times.

Edna: I like the idea of a palace made of corn. Maybe they could eat that building when times get tough.

Margie, we should plan a vacation for someplace warm this winter. Your bones aren't getting any younger, wouldn't you like to go to the Florida Everglades? I hear they have one of your old beaux down there. I bet he'd even take you back if you sweet-talked him a bit.

Margie's ex-boyfriend, aka "The Skunk Ape"

Margie: Edna, this is Sunday and I try to hold my temper on Sunday. You make that difficult.

Why don't you go find all your old beaux?

Whoo-eee, now that's a tall drink of water!

Edna: Margie, I don't think we'd ever be able to travel anywhere together without bloodshed so perhaps we shouldn't even try.

Margie: Edna, that's the most intelligent thing you've ever said!

Saturday, September 11, 2010



Monday, September 6, 2010

Happy American Labor Day


Without labor nothing prospers. ~Sophocles

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Run, Misha, Run!


Dear faithful readers,

We'd like to take a break from our usual humor to tell you about a charity we think is worth backing, Random Acts.

Some of you Supernatural fans may already be familiar with this organization, but for those of you who aren't, Random Acts "conquers the world, one random act of kindness at a time." Random Acts promotes acts of kindness all over the world, and uses donated money to help those in need in the United States and in Haiti, Mexico, Russia, and other countries.

Founded in part by Misha Collins (who plays the angel "Castiel" on Supernatural), Random Acts is spearheading a fund-raising campaign this weekend. "Run, Misha, Run!" is taking place on September 5th; Misha's going to run a whole lot and you can sponsor him per mile, or you can make a flat donation.

For more information about how to donate, and where the money is going, click here.

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