Edna: Margie, I found this webpage in your bookmarks, I didn't know you were shopping for Halloween costumes this year. Might I suggest you find something a bit more demure? That's a little tawdry-looking, dear.
Margie: Edna, may I suggest you shut your trap? I don't know what's gotten into people these days. Mama made our costumes and they were wonderful. We could be ballerinas or a princess or anything pretty but people nowadays like monsters or worse. It's just shameful.
Edna: Well, and it's almost as if you're saying you don't have any creativity when you buy a ready-made costume. Don't people have any imagination that they can't put something together themselves? I can remember when we'd have such fun finding things to be parts of our costumes. Remember that year I went as a gypsy? Mama made the flounced skirt and I found those dangly earrings at the five and dime. Part of the fun of Halloween was planning and making your costume. People are cheating themselves by just buying one, I think.
Margie: Edna, I think you just hit on the real problem. People aren't creative these days. Remember when Mama made me a drum out an oatmeal box? That was creative.
I remember your gypsy outfit. You kept giving me the evil eye and said you'd cast a spell on me. Floozy.
Edna: It worked, too. Remember how all those mirrors cracked when you looked in them? Gypsy magic.
Have you taken a look at how expensive these costumes are to buy? My lands, you could feed a family of four for a week for what you're paying for those little scraps of fabric that will probably just fall apart after one wearing.
Margie: Scraps of fabric are fine but not in a Halloween costume. Some of those cheap things are just a waste and people who pay those ridiculous prices are crazy too.
Edna, you paid Cousin T to crack those mirrors.
Edna: You are losing your senses, woman. Cousin T wasn't even alive when I wore that costume. Perhaps you'd best lie down, I think you're getting all worked up talking about these costumes and your brain is getting scrambled. You go rest while I look for my dangly earrings and crystal ball--er, I mean, a cold compress for your head.
Margie: Edna, I went visiting over to the nursing home today and I'm sure glad I did. I don't think people are grateful enough for their health and mental well-being so everyone should visit the elderly sometimes.
I was ashamed of myself for complaining so much because those elderly folks can get in bad shape. Sister, it wouldn't hurt you to pay a visit there then you might quit being so grumpy.
Edna: Margie, you're the reason I'm grumpy and that's the truth. Still, you're right in that it wouldn't hurt to go visiting at the old folks home. You and I have each other, but some of those people have family who planted them there and then forgot about them. Now that's just a crying shame. I think they'd like to see a smiling face like mine every now and then, don't you?
Margie: Edna, I'm sorry to say that they probably would be glad to see even your ugly mug. Just try not to scare them.
Edna: And this is why you drive a body crazy. I try and have a serious conversation with you and all you can do is insult me. At least if I go visit the elderly, they won't argue with me and say mean things.
Margie: You're right, sister, so I'll call and reserve you a room right now.
Edna: Fine by me, you harpy. As long as you don't come visit.
Margie: Edna, weren't you sad to hear that Tony Curtis passed away? He was a man's man and what I call a real movie star. Hollywood just doesn't make them like him anymore. So charming and handsome. That's what a movie star is.
Edna: I was very sad, as well you know. I was sitting right next to you when we saw it on the television, you ninny. My first husband, Joe, always reminded me of Tony Curtis. He had the charisma and good looks just like Mr. Curtis; my Joe was just a dream walking. Too bad he had a wandering eye for the ladies, also just like Mr. Curtis.
You know who I feel really bad for? That Miss Jamie Lee. She doesn't have either of her parents any more, poor thing. We should send her a nice card.
Margie: Lord a mercy, sister, Joe looked just like Mr. Potato Head. The wandering eye was because he got tired of looking at you every day.
Yes, that sweet Jamie Lee would like to get a card from us. Maybe it would make her feel better if we told her we buy her Activia stuff.
Edna: If we want to make her feel better, we shouldn't lie to the girl. We should just say that we admired her father and we're sorry for her loss. You always want to make things more complicated then they have to be, sister.
Margie and Edna are two elderly sisters, the oldest (and nosiest) residents of the fictional town of Jericho, KS. They are also the brainchildren of Jane and Beth, two “Jericho” fans who clearly needed a creative outlet. Margie and Edna are the result.