Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Edna: Since we're coming up on New Year's Day, we'd best get to cooking Margie. You know Mama always said that there were some foods you should eat on January 1st to give you good luck. Remember how she used to make that big pot of black-eyed peas?
Margie: I do remember, Edna. Mama would put that hog jowl in that pot then we'd have onions with them when they were done.
I recall you never would eat the hog jowl. No wonder you never had much luck.
Edna: Margie, I don't see how hog jowls are lucky; they sure weren't lucky for the poor hog.
Another lucky New Year's food I've always wondered about is cabbage, which is supposed to be a sign of prosperity. Cabbage was never lucky for me, because it surely doesn't agree with me.
Margie: Cabbage doesn't agree with me either, Edna. I've eaten it in the past but I'm sure not prosperous in a financial way.
I do enjoy my greens though. Greens are supposed to be a symbol for cash but nobody ever told me how many to eat. Do you know?
Edna: Eat them all, Margie, I can't stand greens.
You know, one food that is supposed to be unlucky on New Year's is any kind of fowl, like chicken. That's a shame, because I sure do have a hankering for some Kentucky Fried.
Margie: Edna, are you sure about that? The Colonel never told me that when we were dating!
I sure could eat some of those mashed potatoes and gravy about now. I believe they'd make me feel lucky .
Edna: Well, you'd best head on into town and pick some up then. Don't forget the biscuits.
Margie: Kiss my grits, Edna. I'm calling Cousin T.
Edna: You know, one of these days that boy is going to get tired of running errands for us. I hope it's not before he brings back our chicken dinners, though.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Margie: Well, I swan. Look here, Edna. Here's an article about commodity foods. That sure does bring back memories. It makes me hungry too.
Do you remember Daddy taking Grandma to pick up her food every month? She'd get that good cheese and you and I would see who could eat the most. She'd get rice and beans and nonfat dry milk too.
Edna, the program is still going but I bet the food isn't as good as it used to be. If things keep going like they are we may all be back to cooking over the fireplace. Maybe I should run for President?
Edna: Margie, Lord help us all if you should run for President. You'd fill your cabinet with handsome men who had more looks than brains, and then where would our country be?
I do remember Grandma getting her government food, especially the cheese and the real butter. She used to say that it was one way that the government took care of its citizens. And you know, that free food got a bad reputation over the years, but it was always quality food and you can't beat that.
Margie: A cabinet full of men? You're just saying that to distract me, Edna.
Where was I ? Oh, that's true for sure. The government used to take care of its citizens and now the citizens take care of our government.
Can we buy a churn, Edna ? I love real butter.
Edna: I think we'd better buy ourselves both a churn and a milking cow if you want real butter, because it's darn tootin' that the government won't handing it out any time soon.
Margie: And a nice gentleman to do the churning and milk the cow. I'll advertise tomorrow.
Edna: Just make sure he's young. And muscular.
Margie: That goes without saying, Edna.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Margie: What a hectic week it's been. Not only has there been shopping and cooking but how about all this snow and ice? I think we all deserve a break.
Edna has gone to town to try to exchange all the gifts she got for cash. She's so ungrateful.
Anyway, while Edna is gone and I have some peace I thought you all might want to escape with me and enjoy something relaxing.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Margie: Everything makes you ill-humored. That reminds me. I got you a present.
Edna: Oh Margie, you did? It's a good thing that I got one for you, too.
Margie: I had to wrap it in a page from the Sears catalog. I picked the men's underwear page just for you.
Edna: Margie, you know me too well. I hope you like your gift, I didn't have anything to wrap it in but this old piece of muslin from my hope chest.
Margie: Hope chest? Remember when we used to open our presents after dinner? You'd put everything in that hope chest.
Edna: That's right; I used to put them there with all of my special things. Margie, do you remember the year that Mama and Daddy gave us those matching velvet dresses? We looked so nice going to church that year.
Margie: Well, I'm surprised the church was still standing after you went inside.
Edna: Margie, you take that back. I was only a little girl and besides, I hadn't met any of your husbands yet.
Margie: Hush up or no present you Fruit Loop.
Edna: Margie, where's your Christmas spirit? Your sense of goodwill towards others?
Margie: I have goodwill towards others. Just not towards you.
Edna: Margie, you know as well as I do that family is all we have left. You should cherish me, you old bat. Do you remember that year that Santa left you coal in your stocking? I bet that wasn't your favorite Christmas present, was it?
Margie: You got switches. My favorite present was the year Daddy gave me that puppy. I named her Daisy. Remember?
Edna: I do remember Daisy, she piddled all over my nice patent leather shoes, and she chewed up my new hat at Easter time. You taught her to do that, didn't you?
Margie: I did.
Edna: I knew it!
Margie: And it wasn't you who wet your bed.
Edna: I never thought I did, you old meanie. Here's my present for you, I know it's not much, but it's all I could do this year, what with the economy being the way it is. I crocheted you a cozy for your hot water bottle. It's even your favorite color, pink. It's not jewelry, but it will keep you warm on these cold Kansas nights.
Margie: Thank you, Edna. I bought you this necklace with an angel on it. It's to remind you of Supernatural, your favorite show.
Edna: Thank you Margie, that was very sweet of you. Do you have a Christmas wish?
Margie: I do. I wish for peace and an end to our country's economic hardships.
Edna: You know what Margie? That's my wish, too. Merry Christmas, sister.
Margie: Merry Christmas, sister. Goodnight.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Margie: Edna, our tree sure looks skimpy this year.
Edna: Margie, I think it looks just lovely.
Margie: Well, I never saw so many nuts on a tree. And look at that corn.
Edna: There's one nut in this room that isn't on the tree, and I'm looking at her. I think it's a pretty tree: the glitter on the peanuts was a nice touch.
Do you remember the nice Christmases we had when we were girls?
Margie: Yes. Mama always made her Molasses cake. She knew it was my favorite.
Edna: That's not why she made it, you selfish thing. She made it because she knew it was the best cake she made, and she knew that it put Mrs. Richmond's cake to shame every year at the Christmas bazaar.
Margie: Mama said Mrs. Richmond made her cakes from leather batter.
Edna: I know she did, and she was right. Mrs. Richmond was a lovely woman, but she couldn't bake a decent cake to save her life.
Margie: I can just see the sideboard lined up with Mama's turnips and beet pickles. What do you remember?
Edna: I remember how she used to make spiced apple dumplings, I sure do miss those. I never could make them the way Mama did. I also remember Daddy stuffing his face on all of Mama's good cooking.
Margie: Edna, remember when Daddy told you not to make unpleasant sounds at the table?
Edna: I do remember, and I also remember how you were the one making the unpleasant sounds, and blaming it on me. You always did love to get me in trouble.
Margie: Edna, I was the one who put salt instead of sugar in Daddy's coffee.
Edna: I knew it! I couldn't sit down for a week after I got punished for that. Do you remember how Mama used to remind us about our table manners?
Margie: Yes. Mama always told us to be sweet tempered. That wasn't you.
Edna: That wasn't you, either. You used to pick your teeth at the table, and oh how Daddy would yell!
Margie: My Daddy never yelled you old shrew.
Edna: I remember what I remember, and you can't tell me different. I also remember how much Mama loved having good food prepared for all the friends and neighbors who would stop by the house. Do you remember that, Margie?
Margie: I do remember all our visitors. Mama said she invited the Greens because she wasn't going there and have to drink Mrs. Green's muddy coffee.
Edna: Well, not everyone had the magic touch with food like Mama did. Do you remember how she used to say that " Ill-prepared food provokes ill-humor" so everything had to be just right.
Margie: She sure did. She was right too. That's why we're good cooks today.
Edna: Well, I know I’m a good cook. Everything you make tastes like vinegar. That must be your ill-humor coming through.
Part II tomorrow.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Edna: Folks, I dearly love this time of year. Everyone is so festive and nice, and there are all kinds of holiday treats just lurking around. A good friend of mine, Miss TRoss, made this video a couple years ago in honor of her favorite TV con man. (He just happens to be mine, too.) I hope you all enjoy this little piece of holiday cheer!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Edna: Margie, look here at this recipe I got from a friend of mine. Eggnog pie! My lands, have you ever heard of such a thing?
Margie: I've never heard of that, Edna. My personal opinion is that it would be better if we replaced that rum extract with about a pint of good rum.
Edna: I knew you were going to say that. You probably don't remember the last time you tried to cook something that way, considering you drank all the rum and didn't leave any for the recipe. I let you sleep on the kitchen floor that night.
I think I'm going to try and make this for Christmas. We'll have to send Cousin T into town for the ingredients.
Margie: Edna, you're so mean to your elders.
If you're sending Cousin T to the store then you best have him pick up a larger bottle of rum. It'll warm up my old bones.
Edna: Ha! Elder is right.
I'll have Cousin T pick you up some rum, you old lush, but you'd best leave me a little bit for the pie.
Margie: Edna, you can ruin a pie better than anybody I know.
Edna: Then you don't have to eat any, fine by me.
1 pre-made graham cracker crust
1 4-¾ ounce box instant vanilla pudding mix
2 cups good eggnog
1/3 cup milk
splash rum extract (You can substitute 1/4 cup of rum for the rum extract, if desired)
Mix pudding, eggnog, milk and extract until thick. (Mixture will be very thick.) Then, pour into the shell and let sit in the fridge at least a day before serving.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Margie: Folks, it's that time of the year again. You know what I mean. Yes, time to give those fruitcakes as gifts. Trust me when I say nobody wants them. Do yourself a favor and waste your money on something else.
People sure have made fun of poor old fruitcakes over the years. You know what I do like about fruitcake? If it wasn't for the fruitcake then we wouldn't have that old saying about somebody being "as nutty as a fruitcake."
Hey Edna, what do you think about fruitcake?
Edna: Oh Margie, you left yourself wide open on that one, but I'm going to take the high road and behave with some dignity. I must say, I'm not a big fan of fruitcake. But it is indeed a time-honored holiday tradition. You know, Mama had a recipe for fruitcake, it was for the kind that got soaked in rum for a month. Whoo boy, that would sure brighten up your holidays!
Margie: Get off your high horse, Edna. You left your dignity in San Francisco. Didn't think I knew about that did you ?
I could use some brightening up so I might just make Mama's fruitcake. It ought to be ready by New Year's Eve for my party.
Edna: You'd better serve that thing with black coffee and designate some drivers, because just one slice will make you see pink elephants.
Margie: Are we going to the circus? I love elephants, Edna.
Edna: Save some of that rum for the fruitcake, Margie.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Edna: Margie, look what's on TV tonight, it's that movie On the Town. My lands, how those actors can dance and sing! I used to have such a soft spot for that gutsy Betty Garrett. Remember her?
Margie: Edna, is she the one you always tried to imitate? I know you can't carry a tune in a bucket.
Edna: I can sing better than you can, you harpy. And she ended up with Frank Sinatra in that movie, as you'll recall. I can think of worse people to imitate.
As I was saying, I just loved her so much in everything I ever saw her in. Do you remember when she was on Laverne and Shirley as Mrs. Babish the landlord? It was so nice to see her on TV every week, that's for sure.
Margie: Edna, that Frank was a smooth one. There's a man who knew how to sing and dress.
Oh, I never missed that Laverne and Shirley. They sort of reminded me of us. Mrs. Babish was a good role.
Edna: That was a good role for her, you're right. You know, I didn't remember this until we started talking about her, but she and her husband were both blacklisted during the McCarthy hearings. Her husband never really got good acting work again after that, although she went on to do a lot of TV and stage work, bless her heart.
Did you know she's still alive, Margie? She got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame back in 2003, which she definitely deserved. And I guess she directs plays and wrote an autobiography. I'm glad she's still around, it seems like there are so few celebrities left from Hollywood's golden age.
Margie: She's still alive? I'd sure love to meet her. You're right about the golden age. Men were gentlemen and ladies were ladies.
I'm going to the library and get her book.
Edna: She's most definitely still alive, and still acting too. Look at what I found on her imdb.com profile: she's in a movie! They're still working on it, but it also has that nice Jim Beaver in it. Anything that has Bobby from Supernatural and Mrs. Babish in it is bound to be entertaining.
Maybe we should write her and ask for an autograph.
Margie: Edna, you get the pen and paper and I'll make us some Special Tea.
Edna: Sounds like a plan, sister.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Margie: No, I'm not talking about bells or telephones when I refer to a ding-a-ling. That's because this holiday refers to wackos, lunatics, and nitwits. I cannot call any names here but I expect we all know at least one ding-a-ling.
So, get wild and crazy today and have some fun. Blame your behavior on the holiday. Be sure to watch this video and see some real ding-a-lings.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Well, it's that time of year again. I know it's been 70-odd years since you got a letter from me, but I had to write after I read the letter my sister sent you this year. I will not have her lording it over me when you bring her what she wants while she gives me the fake Christmas stocking she made full of sticks and coal, pretending it's from you. (By the way, she did that to me when we were young back in 1932; trust me, she's no angel.)
I'm not going to waste your time asking for lavish gifts; I'm an old lady and I don't need much at this stage in my life. I'll ask for the usual meaningful things, like peace, health and happiness for my friends and family. (Yes, even for my crabby old sister). I do have a few frivolous requests, though, so please bear with me.
Santa dear, I would truly love it if you would give me a fifth and sixth season of Supernatural. Yes, I know that the Nielsen ratings are beyond even your reach, but if you could put in a good word with the CW, I'd really appreciate it.
I find that my circulation isn't what it used to be, so I'd appreciate it if you brought me a new blanket so I can keep warm during the Kansas winters. I've done the work for you already and picked out this one.
Even though a lady doesn't talk about her physical complaints, I need to share a little secret with you Santa: I have bunions. I think it's from all those years of wearing fashionable shoes--my feet looked beautiful then, but oh am I paying for it now! I'd like a comfortable (yet stylish) pair of sneakers like these.
If I had a pair of shoes like that, I think I could walk for miles and miles without needing to rest my tootsies.
Finally Santa, you know what a trial my sister is. (And let me just say, you dodged a bullet when she turned down your marriage proposal. Take it from me, she is a royal pain to live with, and that's the God's honest truth.) It would make my life infinitely easier if you brought her a new hearing aid. The one she has doesn't work half the time, then she gets mad because she says I mumble. I'd also like some ear plugs, for those times when she just won't shut up. Since she can't hear herself, she talks pretty loudly, and she pretty much talks all the time which is driving me batty. And lastly, I would love a new laptop computer. A very nice neighbor gave us one to share last year, but my sister has had life-long difficulty with the concept of sharing, and so she hogs the laptop all the time. The only time she lets me use it is when she wants something from me (like to help her to look up nekkid men pictures, which I refuse to do). The rest of the time, I have to wait until she's asleep to use it, like now.
So please, Santa, do an old lady a favor this year and bring me what's on my list. I promise to leave out milk and cookies for you if you do. And if you don't...well, let's just say that I'll be mailing my sister to the North Pole come Dec. 26th. I don't think you want that, do you?
Yours truly, Edna
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Edna: Margie, I am plumb fed up, and for once it doesn't have anything to do with you.
Margie: In that case, Edna, tell me all about it. I'm all ears.
Edna: Thank you, Margie. I swan, I'm so upset about this, I think I might need a cup of special tea. Maybe two.
Those dang fool networks are at it again, they're canceling my favorite shows! First ABC decided that they weren't going to order any more episodes of Pushing Daisies (and we all know what that means). Then, NBC decided to get in on the act and they canceled My Own Worst Enemy. What's going to go next? Chuck? Fringe? Heaven forbid, Supernatural??
Margie, it's getting to the point that I don't even want to watch new shows any more. What's the point? I find something I like, and then the networks cancel it. It's all about the ratings and their advertisers, TV executives sure don't care about their real customers: the viewers.
Margie: I need special tea too because I agree with you and that's scary.
I mainly watch cable now and you should too. Cancel Supernatural? Edna, I'd make their life a living Hades. I'd put a voodoo curse on those idiots.
Maybe we should just rent some of those men movies. You know the ones.
Edna: Margie, you never cease to amaze me. And I don't mean that in a good way.
I think we'd better start looking up voodoo curses, because I have a feeling things on TV are going to get worse before they get better.
Margie: I'm with you, sister. How does The Margie and Edna Network sound?
Edna: Sounds good to me!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Edna: Margie, I can't believe it, but this is our 200th post. Did you think we'd last this long?
Margie: I surely didn't, Edna. It's only because our nice readers took an interest in two grumpy old ladies that we've made it this far. I want to thank all of them for visiting us. They bring me so much enjoyment every day.
Edna: Me too, Margie. It's most definitely because of our readers that we've lasted as bloggers this long. We've got a lot to say, but we bicker so much that I think having readers has forced us to be on our best behavior. Or better behavior, anyway.
So thank you, dear readers, for sticking with us for 200 posts! Hopefully we won't kill each other before post #300 rolls around.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
"A Date Which Will Live in Infamy" --President Franklin D. Roosevelt
Friday, December 5, 2008
Edna: Since the Christmas season has started, I've naturally started thinking about holiday movies. For a very long time, my favorite movie was It's a Wonderful Life. Now, I think that had more to do with my sweeping and grand affection for Jimmy Stewart rather than this being a truly heart-warming movie. Because let's face it, ladies and gentlemen, scratch the surface of that movie and you find all manner of depressing things. Suicidal thoughts, economic crisis, skullduggery, stinginess of soul, and a multitude of broken dreams, to name a few. I don't care that George Bailey discovers at the end that his life really is "wonderful." The fact still remains that the awful Mr. Potter goes unpunished for his foul deeds, and poor George not only can't hear out of one ear, but he never got to travel the world and build things like he wanted to. Quite frankly, every time I watch it and get to the part where Mary is hiding in the hydrangea bushes after the high school dance, I turn the blasted movie off because it's all downhill from there. Who needs that kind of depressing movie during the holidays?
Given the above complaints, it might surprise you all to learn that my favorite holiday movie is one that is sarcastic and starts out with a distinct lack of holiday cheer: Scrooged, with Bill Murray. Like It's a Wonderful Life, Scrooged also has as its focus a troubled young man, and it most certainly has its melancholy moments. But the beauty of Bill Murray's Frank Cross is that he knows he's past redemption, and he doesn't care. So it's mighty refreshing when he finds love and happiness at the end, because he didn't even think he was looking for it. Plus, what's not to love about Carol Kane as the surprisingly sadistic Ghost of Christmas Present? Now this is my kind of holiday movie!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Margie here. I'm sorry we haven't spoken since 1947 but I've felt sure you never got over me turning down your marriage proposal. I hope you understand that I would never have defied my parents and they had many concerns about me marrying you.
First, Daddy said a gentleman would have a proper vehicle in which to come calling on a lady. A sleigh is not one.
Two, Mama said a gentleman does not court a lady without changing his clothes on occasion. She hated your red suit.
Third, you know I told you that I could never live with a bunch of elves who hammered and banged all night for 365 days a year.
I'm hoping that eases your mind as I do need to ask your help this Christmas. My finances are tight in our current economy so I'm asking you to deliver some gifts for me. Here's my list:
Please bring Cousin T a new hat to wear to church. I think he'd look quite dapper in red.
Please bring my sister, Edna, a year's supply of her medicine. She's never gotten over those headaches you caused her to have from all that "Ho, Ho, Ho" stuff.
Finally, all I want is this:
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Margie: Edna, today is National Fritters Day. My goodness, that makes me think about all those fritters Mama used to make.
Remember how Mama had to make one plate of fritters just for Daddy? He sure could put away a load of those things.
Edna: You could too, as I recall. Still can, you glutton. I suppose I shouldn't point fingers, I do enjoy a crispy apple fritter with my morning tea from time to time. We should make more fritters, why don't we?
Margie: Good question, Edna. I don't make them very often because I can never decide what kind to make. I do love apple fritters but I love corn fritters too.
Talking about fritters has made me hungry. Maybe I should go make some of both kinds?
Edna: Sounds like a good idea, sister. But you'd better get your welding mask out of the garage, you know how that oil spatters. I'll give Cousin T a call and have him bring over a fire extinguisher.
Margie: Make that two, Edna.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Once again, we have had the great good fortune to be given several awards from some wonderful bloggers. We are just tickled to know that you all enjoy coming and visiting our blog.
Jodi from Jodi's Journey gave us the Lemonade Award. (Gosh, that's a cute award!)
We were given the Butterfly Award from both Rebecca at Cat Lovers Site and Alicia at Fashiona: Musings of a Stylish Girl.
April at My Life as a Mother and Single Parent gave us the Rock Star Award. (We think you rock too, dear.)
And last, but certainly not least, Julie at Cool Mom Guide gifted us with the Aloha Award.
We thank you all from the bottom of our hearts!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Margie: Today is Black Friday which means all the folks will be out looking for sales. Not this girl. People go crazy on this day every year which is why you won't find me leaving the house!
Besides, nobody has given me a bailout so I can't even afford a sale this year. For those of you who do plan to shop today, here's something to think about before you go.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Margie: Edna, I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving as I'm sure most people do. I hope our readers will share with us some of the things they're thankful for this holiday.
I am most thankful for my health. Having good health at our age might be considered a miracle. I try to eat healthy and drink my Special tea. That surely fights the germs.
I'm also grateful that I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I'm grateful for all my dear friends and everyone who visits us in the Basement.
What are you thankful for, Edna?
Edna: Well sister, I'm also thankful for all of our friends and family, and all of our lovely visitors here at the basement. You all keep two old ladies happy, so thank you.
I'm also thankful that as many bad things in this world that I've seen, I can still laugh. Laughter is the best medicine, you know, and it's kept me healthy and young at heart all these years.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Margie: I know a lot about gentlemen and I'm here to tell you what to look for if you want a real man.
1. A gentleman has honor. He is honest and his word is his bond. He doesn't lie, cheat, or steal and he's certainly not a criminal.
2. A gentleman has self control. He isn't abusive and he doesn't fly off the handle at the drop of a hat. He doesn't drink to excess or partake of any other vices.
3. A gentleman is kind, mannerly, and compassionate. He has a good upbringing and respects all humans and creatures. He never raises his voice and is comfortable in any situation.
4. A gentleman is chivalrous. He treats everyone with respect. He holds the door for a lady, never walks ahead of her, and is concerned for her feelings. If he says she's the only one for him then he means it.
5. A gentleman has a delightful sense of humor. He does not, however, tell vulgar jokes especially in mixed company. He laughs with you and not at you.
Edna, do you have anything to add? I doubt you've ever known a gentleman.
Edna: Margie, I suppose you're right. Folks, she's known more gentlemen than I have, so I suppose you'd best listen to her.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Once again, it's time for Fun Friday here at the Basement.
Edna: This may surprise some of you readers out there, but in my younger days I was a bit of a feather-brained flibbertigibbet. I simply had a lot of thoughts to express, so I talked--a lot--to everyone. (Well, Margie still complains that I talk too much, but then she's usually complaining about something so I barely even listen to her anymore. I'd advise you all to do the same). I've mellowed some in my old age, but I still have some days where the thoughts get to a-whirlin' around in my head. When that happens, I've just got to do something to calm down, or "center" myself (as those new-agey hipsters like to say).
When I get so that I can't even hear myself think, I sit down, close my eyes, and take a listen to this song. It never fails to remind me of who I really and truly am, deep down inside. I wanted to share it with you all today, I surely do hope that when you listen to it, it calms and soothes you as much as it does me.
Have a fun Friday!
*image property of Universal Studios
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Edna: Margie, with Thanksgiving coming up, people's minds seem to be on what they're going to serve for dinner. Why, just the other day, Darcy Hawkins asked me for my cranberry sauce recipe.
Margie: Edna, I hope you didn't give it to her since you're no cook. If you made cranberry sauce you'd only do it to spite me. I hate that stuff.
Edna: More for me, then. And you can just hush up about my cranberry sauce, I'll have you know that it's always in demand at church suppers.
It did give me pause when she asked for the recipe though, since I never wrote it down. I cook like Mama did, from memory and by improvising. Here's what I came up with for Darcy, I hope it turns out well for her.
1 12-ounce bag fresh cranberries, rinsed
3/4 cup water
1/4 cup orange juice
1/2 cup sugar (more or less to taste)
1 cup grated apple
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts
orange zest (if desired)
In Corningware or enamel saucepan, combine the water and OJ. Using medium heat, stir the sugar into the liquid until it's dissolved. Add the washed cranberries to the mixture and turn heat on high. Stirring the berries occasionally, listen for the berries to start popping--this should take about 10 minutes or so. Once the berries begin to pop, stir the mixture occasionally and cook for about 5-10 minutes over high heat. (Cook for longer if you want the berries to break down more and your sauce to be thicker; the less you cook them, the more the berries keep their shape and consistency and the thinner your sauce is. However, if you are going to cook the sauce for more than 10 minutes, reduce the heat to medium to prevent scorching.) After you have cooked the cranberries as long as you want, remove from heat and add the apples and the walnuts (and orange zest, if desired). Let the sauce stand for about an hour before putting it in the refrigerator to chill, preferably overnight. Do not store in a metal container due to the high acid content of the sauce.
Margie: Edna, you sully Mama's memory because she was a wonderful cook. What you call cooking would only be fit for pig slop.
You know what? It's not in demand at church suppers. People are just being mannerly to an old lady by taking some.
Edna: I suppose they were being mannerly by eating it all and coming back for seconds, too? Well that's just fine Margie, you don't have to eat any of my cranberry sauce when I make it for Thanksgiving dinner. Cousin T and will eat it all ourselves. Don't you think I'll share any of that pecan pie I'm making, either.
Margie: Thank you, Edna. That's right kindly of you.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Margie: Edna, remember what fun we had when Daddy would take us to the moving pictures?
Mama wasn't so sure young ladies belonged there but Daddy overruled that notion.
Edna: Well, I've always thought that those Saturday afternoons at the picture show was what started my life-long love of movies, and television later. There's nothing like a good story to take you away, and that is the truth.
My lands, the things they'd show in those days! Newsreels, cartoons, such like you'd never seen before. What a wonder it all was.
Margie: It sure was a wonder. Daddy would explain why the newsreels were important and I still love watching the news.
The cartoons were the best. They don't make them like that anymore. Which was your favorite, Edna?
Edna: Well, I always did think that Betty Boop had style, she sure was fun to watch and she always made me giggle. What about you Margie, which one was your favorite?
Margie: I always loved Mickey Mouse. I met him once when I went to Disney World. Very sweet mouse.
Edna, I bet you don't know what happened on this date in 1928?
Edna: Well, since we're talking about the moving pictures, I bet it has something to do with them. Am I right? And what do I get if I am?
Margie: You're right, Edna. You win a prize! You get to do dishes and laundry for a week. Aren't you happy?
Mickey Mouse debuted in Steamboat Willie at the Colony Theater in New York on Nov. 18, 1928.
You can watch it here, Edna.
Edna: Okay, I'll go watch it, but I'm not doing the dishes or the laundry.
Margie: Tell me something I don't know, lazy tushie.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Edna: Margie, I've been thinking a lot lately about the girl that Mama used to have come watch us when we were little, when she'd go to to Bible study or to her lady's group. Her name was Sylvia, do you remember?
Margie: Yes, I remember. I haven't thought of her in years. What makes you ask?
Edna: Maybe it's because of the holiday season and all the talk of families and such. I remember that she was just out of high school when the Great Depression started, and although she'd been talking about going to college to get her teaching degree, she went to work in a factory instead to make money for her older brothers to continue their schooling. I've often thought about how selfless that sacrifice was. I wonder how many young people today would do that for their siblings?
Margie: Times were sure different then. People had manners and they were caring and gracious. Family was the most important thing in the world. There weren't a lot of women who made it to college. Women were expected to help the menfolk.
I'm not sure how many young women would do that today. People think about me, me, me nowadays.
Edna: Margie, I would like to think that if times got really tough again like they were back then, young women (and young men!) would step up to do what they had to do to help their families out.
You know, I asked Mama about Sylvia after we were grown. She told me she'd heard that Sylvia never did get to go back to school like she'd wanted to. Sylvia's brothers all dropped out of school, but she never ever complained about having made a wasted sacrifice. Mama said she got married and had two girls (just like Mama!) and lots of wonderful grandchildren, and she was happy with the path she chose.
I guess what it all comes down to is being happy with the life you have. And that's a lesson you can take to the bank.
Margie: I agree, Edna. Be happy with the life we have. I have the utmost respect for Sylvia for being happy with her path. She certainly deserved happiness.
Edna: Yes, she did. And she got it too.
This one's for you, Grandma.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
We're announcing a bit of a change in schedule here at the Basement. Due to real life issues (work-related, health-related, family-related...heck, you name it, it's going on), we need to change the way things are done around here for the time being. We wanted to let you all know that we will still be posting as regularly as we can. However, in addition to taking the weekends off as we've been doing, we will now be taking Wednesdays off as well. Rest assured, this blog isn't going anywhere; this is simply a temporary measure until things in real life simmer down a bit.
We love Margie and Edna, and blogging as them is like a balm for the soul, especially when the going gets tough. We will return to our usual 5-times-per-week posting schedule as soon as we can. Thank you all for being regular readers here at the blog. We really do appreciate all the love and support you've given the ladies this past year, just like we appreciate your patience with us now.
Love, Jane ("Margie") and Beth ("Edna")
Friday, November 14, 2008
Margie and Edna would like to introduce a new feature here at the Basement: Fun Fridays. Each week, we'll present a little something that we particularly like, as a nice pick-me-up for us all at the end of a hard week. Enjoy!
Margie: Edna and I would like to share with you one of our favorite TV shows of all time. We used to watch it with our grandma. Poor granny had to explain to Edna that Edna was not ever going to be the queen of anything. We hope you enjoy it.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Edna: Margie, you talk a lot about that talented young man from the "Supernatural" television show. But I bet I know something about Mr. Jensen Ackles that you don't.
Margie: Edna, I talk about him a lot and I have sweet dreams of him too.
What do you think you know?
Edna: Don't get snippy with me, you harpy! I'm being nice and sharing this information with you. I even have pictures. But if you don't want to see them....
Margie: Have a brownie, Edna, and let me see. I hope he has clothes on.
Edna: Margie, I don't even want to know what would make you think that I would show you nekkid pictures of that nice young man. You must be out of your gourd, and I'm going to ignore that you even said that. I'll take the brownie, though.
Now, the first thing I'm going to show you isn't really a picture of him, it's a link to a movie trailer for his new movie coming out in January 2009. It's called "My Bloody Valentine 3-D" and you can look at the trailer here. But hold on to your bloomers, it's a might scary.
Margie: Sakes alive, Edna. Are you trying to scare an old lady to death? I just don't know if I can go see that movie.
I'd sure like for that young man to pick me as his regular Valentine though. Hunka burning love is what he is. Whoo Wee!
Edna: Get your mind out of the gutter and pay attention, I have something else to show you. These pictures are from a movie Mr. Ackles made some time ago called "Ten Inch Hero" but it hasn't been released yet here in the US. I bet you won't even recognize him!
Margie: My word, Edna. Blue hair? Tattoos? Well, I always did love a bad boy.
I'm glad you call him Mr. Ackles because he probably wouldn't like you calling him by his first name.
Edna: Good grief, Margie! I take the time and the trouble to show you these things I found, and all you do is insult me. See if I show you anything interesting again. From now on, I'm keeping Jensen for myself, you can go kiss a toad.
Margie: I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you, Edna.
Announcement for our readers in the
Los Angeles/Southern California area:
There will be a special screening of "Ten Inch Hero"
in Los Angeles on Monday, November 24th!
For more information, including theater location
and ticket prices, head here: "Ten Inch Hero" blog.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Edna: Margie, take a look at this cooking show I found on YouTube. He makes donuts the same way you do! I bet they taste about as good as yours, too.
Margie: Edna, I'm calling my lawyer! That nitwit stole my idea. You know he copied my way of making donut holes!
I'll be a rich woman when my lawyer is through with him.
Edna: Your lawyer must be a fool, you don't have to have gone to law school to know that you can't sue a puppet. Besides, I've been after you for years to stop making donuts that way, it puts too many holes in the ceiling.
You know, I think I've found my new favorite cooking show!
Margie: And I think I've found your perfect nitwit match. I'll make donuts for your wedding.
Only a puppet would want to live with you, Edna.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Margie and Edna would like to pause a moment today to give thanks to all of our nation's veterans, past and present. This Veterans Day, please say a special word of thanks to all of those who have kept our country safe and our freedoms secure.
Image courtesy the North Carolina Museum of History
Monday, November 10, 2008
Margie: Edna and I were talking last night and we suddenly realized that many people don't understand what a lady truly is these days. If you're one of those folks then we'd like to offer a few tips on what qualities a lady needs.
1. A lady always needs to smell as fresh as a daisy.
When Edna and I were girls, Mama warmed a washtub of water every Saturday so we could take our baths. All we had then was lye soap. That was not something that smelled like a lady.
A lady's perfume should never overwhelm. You should smell Edna's fake French perfume. Even pigs wouldn't wallow in that. Neither should a lady smell like some arthritis cream or a funeral parlor.
Here's a lovely scent you should try. This is what I use and it's wonderful.
2. A lady is sexy without being vulgar.
Sexy is not letting all your assets hang out of your clothes for all to see. As Edna often says, gentlemen prefer a bit of mystery. Just the glimpse of a trim ankle can be a subtle hint.
Think of it this way; is a wrapped Christmas package more appealing than seeing the gift just sitting under the tree? Gentlemen like to unwrap their gifts if you get my drift.
3. A lady's manners are beyond reproach.
Mama always told us to have pride in ourselves and our appearance. Not only were we taught table manners but Mama taught us how to behave around others. Never let it be said that you have no manners. That's most uncouth and unladylike.
4. A lady is dignified and charming.
This means no tattoos or piercing of your anatomy. Dignified means holding your head high, shoulders back, as if you rule the world. Edna tries to act like a ruler but she's not.
Always be charming. A smile or quiet laugh can turn many a head. Attend a good charm school or ask me for advice. I really should offer classes since I am one of the few ladies left.
5. A lady always takes the high road.
Remember when Loretta Lynn sang, " You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man?" This is an example of taking the low road.
A lady does not participate in smackdowns, throwdowns, mud wrestling, or hair pulling. This would be plain tacky.
Always remember that you too can be a lady. Let's hope Edna takes my advice.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Margie and Edna would like to thank our top five Entrecard droppers for the month of October. Thank you very much, fellow bloggers!
Please take a moment to visit each of the blogs below, you'll be glad that you did.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Edna: Margie, I liked the look of this video. The music got my toes a-tappin', but I threw my back out trying to do the dance. Why don't you give it a try?
Margie: Get me the heating pad, Edna. I declare, I tried to kick my leg up and couldn't even raise it above my knee. Remember when we could actually do this dance?
Edna: I surely do, but we're not so young and limber any more.
I'll get you the heating pad if you get me some special tea, Margie. I think I need some sippin' medicine to ease my aches and pains.
Margie: That sounds like a deal, Edna. I do believe I need some of that medicine too.
Edna: Make mine a double, please.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Edna: Margie, take a look at these messages from some of our fellow bloggers. We've been tagged to do a book tag, and we've won a few more awards. Let's blog about that today!
Margie: That's wonderful, Edna. I love all our fellow bloggers. They are such thoughtful folks.
Edna: Aren't they? We got tagged by Cactus Jack Splash and his owner to do the book tag. My goodness Margie, he surely is a handsome horse! Well-spoken, too.
These are the rules of the book tag:
- Grab the nearest book.
- Open the book to page 56.
- Find the fifth sentence.
- Post the text of the next two to five sentences.
- Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book or the intellectual one. Pick the Closest.
- Tag five people to do the same. (We opted not to do this.)
Edna: Now, here's the book I have closest to hand: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV). I know that must seem like heavy reading for such a sweet old lady, but let me tell you folks: something is wrong with that doggone sister of mine, and I aim to find out what!
Here's the fifth through seventh sentences on page 56: "The most common associated feature of Expressive Language Disorder in younger children is Phonological Disorder. There may also be a disturbance in fluency and language formulation involving an abnormally rapid rate and erratic rhythm of speech and disturbances in language structure ("cluttering"). When Expressive Language Disorder is acquired, additional speech difficulties are also common and may include motor articulation problems, phonological errors, slow speech, syllable repetitions, and monotonous intonation and stress patterns."
Well shoot, that won't help me find out what's wrong with Margie. I'd best keep reading, there's got to be something in here about "Pain-in-the-tushie disorder."
What book are you reading, Margie?
Margie: I'm reading Jack Knife, Edna. It's all about time travelers trying to stop Jack the Ripper. I must say, though, that page 56 is a short page and the only sentence doesn't have much to do with the book.
Edna: That surely sounds interesting, and that's not something I often say when I'm talking about you. Why don't you still share what's on page 56 with our readers? You've got me curious, too.
Margie: "He tipped the corner of the certificate into the candle's flame. The paper caught, and he let it burn to within an inch of his fingers before he dropped it into the empty chamber pot."
Edna: Now I'm intrigued; you take good care of that book, I want to read it next.
We also got a whole heap of awards recently. I am so happy that people love us so much, but we just can't choose anyone to pass this along to. It seems unfair since there are so many bloggers that we love.
Maitri from Magic and Moments at Dragonfly Cottage and Lidian from Kitchen Retro each gave us the "I heart your blog" award.
Sweet Maitri also gave us the Butterfly Award and the My Favorite Blog award.
Angie from In Pursuit of Fulfillment gave us the Uber-Amazing Blog award.
Thank you very much, ladies!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Image credit to The Confectionery.
Margie: Edna, today is National Candy Day. I do believe we should celebrate so I have an idea.
Deputy Jimmy said he'd come by and take us to vote so we could visit the candy store as soon as we're finished. What do you think?
Edna: Here's what I think: I think I'd rather focus on candy than on politics. We're getting too old and tired to be subjected to all the mud-slinging and nonsense that goes on in elections these days. So yes, we can go vote then spend the rest of the day eating candy. Maybe they should make that a federal mandate: candy for everyone on election day! Then maybe more people would vote.
Margie: Edna, did I just hear you have a good idea? People would love getting candy after they vote.
Speaking of nonsense and mud-slinging, I suppose you have something to say about my red dress. I read that gentlemen love red and a lot of gentlemen will be at the polls.
Edna: Margie, need I remind you that we'll be with Deputy Jimmy? He told you the last time what would happen if he caught you "soliciting" again. Besides, the gentlemen will be too busy voting to give you any notice, so maybe you'd better save that red dress for another day.
Now, tell me what kind of candy you're going to buy. One of the blessings of wearing dentures is that we don't have to worry about cavities any more!
Margie: Looks like I need to solicit a hit man!
I'm buying Reese's Cups, Edna, and some of those Three Mouseketeers. I love those.
Edna: I'll be getting a box of Junior Mints, but I'm saving those to eat when we watch "Supernatural" on Thursday night. For today, I think I want one of those Snickers bars that have almonds in them. Those are mighty tasty! Maybe I'll get a bag of lemon drops, too. Margie, my mouth is watering just thinking about it. I'm going to go get a notepad and make a shopping list.
Margie: Me too.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Image by Sesame Workshop.
Margie: Edna, look at this. Your picture is in today's newspaper. Oh dear, they got your birthdate wrong. You weren't born on November 2nd.
Edna: Oh, very funny Margie. You know, one of us in this conversation got sick recently from eating too many teacakes, and it wasn't me. So I think you'd best check in the mirror if you want to see the real cookie monster.
Margie: Edna, I didn't say Cake Monster. Good grief! It describes you right here:
"can (and often does) consume anything and everything, from apples and pie to letters, flatware, and hubcaps."
That's you sister.
Edna: Margie, you're so unattractive when you're insulting. Besides, you know I eat like a bird. I inherited my delicate constitution from Mama's side of the family. You're the one who eats like a goat. I once saw you eat an entire cupcake, wrapper and all, without even blinking.
Margie: Edna, you are so funny when you lie. Delicate constitution my eye. You eat like a pig. Is a pig a bird?
I may have eaten a cupcake but I don't eat 2 funnel cakes in one sitting like you do.
Edna: Margie, I only ever did that once, and that was because you refused to eat the funnel cake I'd bought you. I just didn't want it to go to waste.
I'm getting hungry, I'm going to go make some brownies. And I don't plan on sharing.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Margie: Edna, I'm very excited about Halloween this year. I think it's wonderful that we decided to have a haunted house for all the children in Jericho.
I do have one small concern, sister, and I'll say this as nicely as I can. You said you'd like to greet the children at the door. If you do that, Edna, they'll run away screaming and will never see the haunted house.
Edna: Margie, if I had a nickel for every time you insulted me, I'd be richer than Bill Gates. You know good and well that the reason I want to greet the children is because I want to see their little costumes. They always look so cute, trying to be scary.
I hope we have a better turn-out this year than we did last Halloween. We spent all that time decorating the house and barely any children came.
Margie: See how you are, Edna? I tell the truth and you call it an insult. I love to see the little costumes too.
There's your answer, Edna. Barely any children came last year because you were waiting by the door. Besides, you ate most of the candy.
Edna: Oh no you don't, you fibber, I'm not the one who went to bed early last Halloween with a stomachache! I don't think we had as many decorations last year, maybe that was the problem. Everything looks nice and spooky this year, and I like how you put those fake spiderwebs out in the bushes.
Margie: I like how you helped Cousin T with his werewolf costume. He's going to do a good job this year.
Edna, here's a scary thought. Do you think Aunt Biddy and Itty Biddy will wear costumes this year?
Edna: Lord help us, those two look so ridiculous on a normal day, I'm not sure you'd be able to tell the difference between a costume and how they usually look.
I ran into Deputy Jimmy yesterday, and he said he's going to bring his two little ones by the house tonight. I told him to spread the word, we've got lots of candy and fun thrills in store for all the Jericho kids.
Margie: Deputy Jimmy? Bye, Edna. I'm going to the mall and exchange my costume.
Edna: Margie, if you can't show a lawman your costume, it's probably not good to show the young'uns either. Good thing I decided on the flapper dress, it's family-friendly.
Now go put something decent on and hurry back, I hear some children coming up the walk.