Merry Christmas!

We wish the merriest of Christmases to you and yours!

Love, Margie and Edna

Merry Christmas

A Margiedale For Christmas

Our Christmas- Part II

Margie: Everything makes you ill-humored. That reminds me. I got you a present.

Edna: Oh Margie, you did? It's a good thing that I got one for you, too.

Margie: I had to wrap it in a page from the Sears catalog. I picked the men's underwear page just for you.

Edna: Margie, you know me too well. I hope you like your gift, I didn't have anything to wrap it in but this old piece of muslin from my hope chest.

Margie: Hope chest? Remember when we used to open our presents after dinner? You'd put everything in that hope chest.

Edna: That's right; I used to put them there with all of my special things. Margie, do you remember the year that Mama and Daddy gave us those matching velvet dresses? We looked so nice going to church that year.

Margie: Well, I'm surprised the church was still standing after you went inside.

Edna: Margie, you take that back. I was only a little girl and besides, I hadn't met any of your husbands yet.

Margie: Hush up or no present you Fruit Loop.

Edna: Margie, where's your Christmas spirit? Your sense of goodwill towards others?

Margie: I have goodwill towards others. Just not towards you.

Edna: Margie, you know as well as I do that family is all we have left. You should cherish me, you old bat. Do you remember that year that Santa left you coal in your stocking? I bet that wasn't your favorite Christmas present, was it?

Margie: You got switches. My favorite present was the year Daddy gave me that puppy. I named her Daisy. Remember?

Edna: I do remember Daisy, she piddled all over my nice patent leather shoes, and she chewed up my new hat at Easter time. You taught her to do that, didn't you?

Margie: I did.

Edna: I knew it!

Margie: And it wasn't you who wet your bed.

Edna: I never thought I did, you old meanie. Here's my present for you, I know it's not much, but it's all I could do this year, what with the economy being the way it is. I crocheted you a cozy for your hot water bottle. It's even your favorite color, pink. It's not jewelry, but it will keep you warm on these cold Kansas nights.

Margie: Thank you, Edna. I bought you this necklace with an angel on it. It's to remind you of Supernatural, your favorite show.

Edna: Thank you Margie, that was very sweet of you. Do you have a Christmas wish?

Margie: I do. I wish for peace and an end to our country's economic hardships.

Edna: You know what Margie? That's my wish, too. Merry Christmas, sister.

Margie: Merry Christmas, sister. Goodnight.

Edna writes Santa

Dear Santa,

Well, it's that time of year again. I know it's been 70-odd years since you got a letter from me, but I had to write after I read the letter my sister sent you this year. I will not have her lording it over me when you bring her what she wants while she gives me the fake Christmas stocking she made full of sticks and coal, pretending it's from you. (By the way, she did that to me when we were young back in 1932; trust me, she's no angel.)

I'm not going to waste your time asking for lavish gifts; I'm an old lady and I don't need much at this stage in my life. I'll ask for the usual meaningful things, like peace, health and happiness for my friends and family. (Yes, even for my crabby old sister). I do have a few frivolous requests, though, so please bear with me.

Santa dear, I would truly love it if you would give me a fifth and sixth season of Supernatural. Yes, I know that the Nielsen ratings are beyond even your reach, but if you could put in a good word with the CW, I'd really appreciate it.

I find that my circulation isn't what it used to be, so I'd appreciate it if you brought me a new blanket so I can keep warm during the Kansas winters. I've done the work for you already and picked out this one.

Even though a lady doesn't talk about her physical complaints, I need to share a little secret with you Santa: I have bunions. I think it's from all those years of wearing fashionable shoes--my feet looked beautiful then, but oh am I paying for it now! I'd like a comfortable (yet stylish) pair of sneakers like these.

If I had a pair of shoes like that, I think I could walk for miles and miles without needing to rest my tootsies.

Finally Santa, you know what a trial my sister is. (And let me just say, you dodged a bullet when she turned down your marriage proposal. Take it from me, she is a royal pain to live with, and that's the God's honest truth.) It would make my life infinitely easier if you brought her a new hearing aid. The one she has doesn't work half the time, then she gets mad because she says I mumble. I'd also like some ear plugs, for those times when she just won't shut up. Since she can't hear herself, she talks pretty loudly, and she pretty much talks all the time which is driving me batty. And lastly, I would love a new laptop computer. A very nice neighbor gave us one to share last year, but my sister has had life-long difficulty with the concept of sharing, and so she hogs the laptop all the time. The only time she lets me use it is when she wants something from me (like to help her to look up nekkid men pictures, which I refuse to do). The rest of the time, I have to wait until she's asleep to use it, like now.

So please, Santa, do an old lady a favor this year and bring me what's on my list. I promise to leave out milk and cookies for you if you do. And if you don't...well, let's just say that I'll be mailing my sister to the North Pole come Dec. 26th. I don't think you want that, do you?

Yours truly, Edna

Margie Writes Santa

Dear Santa,

Margie here. I'm sorry we haven't spoken since 1947 but I've felt sure you never got over me turning down your marriage proposal. I hope you understand that I would never have defied my parents and they had many concerns about me marrying you.

First, Daddy said a gentleman would have a proper vehicle in which to come calling on a lady. A sleigh is not one.

Two, Mama said a gentleman does not court a lady without changing his clothes on occasion. She hated your red suit.

Third, you know I told you that I could never live with a bunch of elves who hammered and banged all night for 365 days a year.

I'm hoping that eases your mind as I do need to ask your help this Christmas. My finances are tight in our current economy so I'm asking you to deliver some gifts for me. Here's my list:

Please bring Cousin T a new hat to wear to church. I think he'd look quite dapper in red.

Please bring my sister, Edna, a year's supply of her medicine. She's never gotten over those headaches you caused her to have from all that "Ho, Ho, Ho" stuff.

Finally, all I want is this:




Merry Christmas,

Margie