Friday, April 30, 2010

Fillion Friday: Slither

Edna: My sister may be ready to move on from Fillion Fridays, but I'm not just yet. A few weeks ago I sent Margie on along to the Ladies Auxiliary meeting while I stayed home "sick." Cousin T snuck over to the house with a copy of Slither on DVD, because Margie doesn't like watching horror movies, the big baby. Well, I say what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

Now folks, if you haven't seen this movie before, it's not for the faint of heart. Or for the faint of stomach. My lands, Cousin T heaved up his lunch at least twice before the movie was over, poor thing. I sent him home with a box of Saltines, but he kept calling me all night long, talking some nonsense about killer garden slugs.

One of the things that made this movie redeemable was Mr. Nathan Fillion and his law enforcement uniform:


Whooee, that man can read me my rights any day of the week! Take a look at the movie trailer below and see what you think. But don't blame me if you have to sleep with the lights on tonight.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Happy Birthday Ann-Margret


Margie: Edna, I'd like to wish Ann-Margret a very happy birthday today. No need to discuss age. I have always believed her to be classy, elegant, beautiful,talented, and almost as sexy as me.

You know she married that Roger Smith and he's a fine looking man. Best of all, she knew Elvis. I'd sure like to talk to her about that.

Anyway, I baked a cake for her but I suppose we can eat it if you like.

Edna: No sense having it go to waste, unless you're planning to mail the thing to her. Happy Birthday Ann-Margret, may you have many more!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Old Ladies In Church


Monday, April 26, 2010

Old Sayings


Margie: I was just reading about old sayings from the 1500's, Edna, and this one made me think of you. Didn't you get married in June?

"Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell .... Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married."

Edna: Not as many times as you did, you floozy. Is that the reason why your bouquet was so big you had to have a bridesmaid help you carry it?

Margie: Folks, do you see why I can't have a polite conversation with this ninny? All she wants to do is insult me.

Here's another old saying that reminds me of Edna:

"Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Lord, I wish Mama had thrown Edna out.

Edna: Believe me, there are days I wish she had too, you harpy.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Funky Friday

Margie: It's Friday again, folks, and we're all looking forward to the weekend. If you need to get in the mood then let Margie help.

You just watch this video, get out of your seat, and join in the fun.This little dance will make you feel good all under. I only regret that you can't see Edna do this dance with her little chicken legs.

Let's get started.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

National Jelly Bean Day


Margie: Edna, my stomach hurts. My belly is full of Jelly Belly. Yes, I ate all the jelly beans. I didn't mean to do it. The Devil made me.

Edna: Margie, it serves you right if your stomach hurts. Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins! Pastor preached about that just last week, you heathen. I'm partial to jelly beans, although I don't make a pig of myself about it like you do. By the way, I left you all the black jelly beans. Those things are just pure evil.

Margie: Edna, this is supposed to be National Jelly Bean Day but I think it's going to be stomach ache day for me. I can't eat another one of those things.

Edna: I'm going out on the veranda where I don't have to listen to you moaning and complaining. My lands, anyone would think you're a toddler, the way you have no self-control. Shameful, just shameful!

And I'm taking the jelly beans with me, sister.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

It's Cuckoo Day


Margie: Edna, do you remember Mama's old cuckoo clock? I think she kept it over the old trunk she had. That thing would screech and I never knew if it was the clock or you.

Today is Cuckoo Day so I suppose it can be a day for you and the clock.

Edna: Hateful, spiteful woman. How I ever manage to live with you is a daily mystery.

Since Cuckoo Day heralds the arrival of spring, I guess it's a day to celebrate. We've had such extreme weather lately that it's sometimes hard to tell it even is spring, but I guess I'll take the cuckoo's word for it.

Margie: Move then. It's sure not spring yet. I need to call Cousin T to build us a fire for tonight.

Lawsy me, I'll never take a cuckoo's word for anything!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Aging gracefully


Margie: Edna, I was watching this young lady on TV last night and she said she's terrified of growing older. The nitwit may as well accept the fact that age is a part of life.

Anyway, I'm very grateful to have had a long life and I was thinking that age has its advantages. Look at my breakfast, Edna, and tell me how nice it is that we can have dessert for breakfast. What do you like about getting older, sister?

Edna: I like that I can wear my purple muumuu to the supermarket and no one will say boo. I also like that I'm older then every doctor now, so if they give me advice I don't like I can just tell them I'm older than them and I know better.

Margie: Edna, do you mean that purple muumuu that makes you look like a cow?

That's a good idea about the doctor. I also like the fact that we can say whatever we like and people can like it or lump it. An old lady can get by with saying most anything.

Edna: I also like that my hearing is going a bit so that whenever you talk to me, you sound like one of the grown-ups in a Charlie Brown cartoon. My eyesight is getting a little fuzzy too, which means I don't have to watch the disgusting way you eat your stewed prunes every evening. It's enough to turn one's stomach.

It used to be that people opened doors for older ladies, but I don't see much of that anymore. Which means that if someone doesn't open the door for me, I feel justified in giving them a good whack with my purse. Clearly their mamas didn't whack enough good manners into them in the first place.

Margie: What's that you say, Edna? Oh, I heard your gums flapping and your dentures clacking.

I can only hope that you try to whack somebody and your purse boomerangs and knocks you into Kingdom Come.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Fillion Friday: Captain Hammer

Edna: As much as it pains me to admit this, Margie had a great idea last week with the first "Fillion Friday." He's someone we both enjoy a lot, so today I'm sharing with you all a video clip from his performance in Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. My lands, if you haven't seen that yet, do yourself a favor and go get the DVD! That cute boy who used to be Doogie Howser is in it too, and he has quite a set of pipes on him. So does Mr. Fillion, and he does a great job being a larger-than-life superhero with a larger-than-life ego. Enjoy!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Tax Man


Did everyone pay their taxes? You don't want the revenuers coming after you!

For a list of establishments offering free treats on tax day, check out this link.

Love, Margie and Edna

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Those were the days...


Margie: Edna, remember how we used to buy all the latest magazines? I guess we took after Mama because she'd subscribe to her favorites. The only difference is that the same magazines are now priced for rich folk, they're full of advertising, and you sure don't get much to read.

Edna: I remember when one or two magazines would last you a long car trip, but you're right that they've been cut way down these days. I don't even like to pick up those fashion magazines, they're so full of ads for clothing that nobody but a stick insect could wear.

I used to get so excited when a new magazine would come in the mail, it would make my day to see that glossy cover in the mailbox. Now that we've stopped all our subscriptions to save money, I have to walk down to the library if I want to read the latest periodicals. Margie, the last time I did that, I saw some young whippersnapper sneezing all over the latest copy of People magazine. It was enough to put me off my lunch.

Margie: I got excited over the good stories. Nowadays, it's all about kids and marriage, and spouses who cheat. They sure didn't talk about such in our day. Pure scandal.

Edna, there's another problem for sure: people spreading germs. That's disgusting. I hate to say it but you're right about fashion. The only people who can wear that stuff would be a stick. I miss the old days.

Edna: Well so do I, you idjit, what on earth have we been talking about all this time? Just hand me my bottle of Germ-X, I'm off to the library to catch up on how that poor Sandra Bullock is doing.

*image courtesy

Monday, April 12, 2010

National Library Week


Margie: Edna, I'm giving you fair warning that I won't be home much this week. It's National Library Week and I've been asked to help out down to the library.

I know you'll sit here all week whining and pouting so I bought you a pacifier. You're welcome to come to all the activities and there'll be free food. I've never known you to turn down a free bite.

Edna: My goodness Margie, I know you think you were insulting me but all you've really done is show our readers how mean you are. Although, I'm pretty sure they already knew that.

I'll come along with you to the library, but I bet they won't want you there with that bad attitude. You'll scare the children.

Margie: Edna, you don't make a lick of sense! You act like a baby when I make plans then you sulk and pout until I get home. If I stay home then you complain and whine about how mean I am.

You come to the library, sister, and you best act like a grown woman. You got that? Let's think up games for the children to play.

Edna: How about "Spot the Shriveled Shrew"? Or maybe "Are You Smarter than a 100-year-old"?

Margie: I prefer "Who Super Glued Edna's Tushie To Her Chair?"

Edna: My lands, listening to you yammer on has given me a megrim. Why don't you super glue your mouth and let folks get on with enjoying National Library Week?

Friday, April 9, 2010

Fillion Friday


Margie: Edna can tell you how I despise television commercials and I may even refuse to watch a show with too many of them. There's always an exception and this hot commercial is it. Trust old Margie, if I say it's hot then it's hot.

I really need to talk to Nathan Fillion. We could sit in our swing on the porch and watch Fireflies. Tell him to call me.

By the way, guess whose lovely, shapely legs they used in this commercial? Watch closely now.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Can you believe it's been two years?


Dear Readers,

Last month was the two-year anniversary of "Margie and Edna's Basement," and there have been over 500 posts since the blog got its start in March 2008! The ladies have surely had a lot to say on a variety of different topics, and they don't show signs of stopping any time soon.

We want to thank all of our readers, from those who were with us at the very beginning, to our more recent and most loyal readers (you know who you are). Margie and Edna have found an appreciative audience in you all, much to their delight, and the whole thing has been quite a learning experience. Today we'd like to share a few things that the ladies have learned over the last few years of blogging.

Edna: Blogging is hard to do. It's fun, but it's hard, especially if you want to publish something regularly like Margie and I do. It takes a lot of creativity and imagination, that's for sure.

Margie: Edna, why did you pinch me? I wasn't going to tell them that I've learned never to blog again with a bossy sister.

I'd like to say that I would not do a blog if it felt like work and this blog doesn't. I love trying to anticipate what our readers might enjoy. I'm their favorite anyway.

Edna: Margie, our readers will tell you that they have no favorite sister (although I know they're just being diplomatic and I'm really their favorite).

Speaking of being bossy, blogging on a regular basis takes a lot of planning and cooperation. You might not know it from our interactions, but Margie and I have learned a lot about negotiation and conflict resolution. Although I still say Margie could benefit from a few intensive anger management classes.

Margie: Edna thinks conflict resolution is sitting around pouting and negotiation is threatening me.

I've also learned a lot about anger. You stay calm by shutting your ears to ignorant dummies. Ring a bell, sister?

Planning is correct. Nobody wants to read a blog about nekkid men when it's winter time and the men all keep their clothes on.

Edna: Margie, I'm going to ignore those hateful and untrue words. But you've reminded me of something else I've learned: give the readers what they want and they'll keep coming back. And back and back and back...

Margie: Edna, I'll have to agree with that. They sure keep coming back to see you act a fool. Thanks folks.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Family Reunion Time


Margie: Edna, you know our family reunion is coming up in June. Remember how Daddy always told us that we had to go as long as we were breathing?

Well, you can go alone this year. Old Margie knows when it's time to quit.

Edna: Oh no you don't! I'm not going to face that bunch of piranhas alone! You'd best get yourself out of whatever funk you're in and come and face the music with me.

Margie: Sister, don't pretend that you don't recall how you embarrassed me last year. Right in front of Mama and Daddy's graves too.

That gentleman walked up and simply said he'd gone to school with you so he knew your age. Lordy, it was like waving a red flag at a bull. You rared back your purse and told him you'd knock him to Kingdom come if he told your age. You have no shame.

Edna: Margie, you must have been tippling again because that was surely not me you're remembering. That was Aunt Biddy, you idiot! So you can just quit your whining about me shaming you, because Lord knows it didn't happen the way you're telling it.

I thought for sure she was going to pull that man's hair out.

Margie: Hair? I've pulled my own out having to listen to all your squawking day and night.

Edna: I'm fine with agreeing to a 24-hour wall of silence if it will get you to stop filling my ear with half-truths. Agreed?

Margie: Make it 48.

Monday, April 5, 2010

All Dressed Up


Margie: Edna, look at these pictures I found of us when we were girls. Lawsy me, did Mama think we were twins? Remember how we hated it when she dressed us alike? That old material always made us itch too.

I remember that day when you told her you didn't want to dress like me. Daddy gave you the Evil Eye and that always shut your mouth. I miss Daddy.

Edna: Daddy may have given me the Evil Eye but Mama understood. She said she dressed us alike because of her cousin back East who imported clothing and would send her the children-sized dress samples for us girls. She told me that it was a sin to waste anything, even clothes we didn't like. And that we should be thankful we had nice clothes, because so many children had to do without.

It figures you wouldn't remember that part, the part where Mama reminded us to be humble.

Margie: Edna, why do you always try to make me feel bad? I was thankful for everything except you. You wouldn't know humble if it slapped you upside your ugly head.

Edna: Get away from me Margie, don't you dare slap me! I'm not so old yet that I can't take you in a fight. I swan, it's just like you to take a reasonable conversation and resort to violence. Looks like you didn't inherit Mama's peaceful side, either.

Margie: I'll slap you with this wet noodle any time I please then I'll pull that tacky wig off your flat head.

I'm going to Bailey's. You make my nerves knot up!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter!


Love, Margie and Edna

Friday, April 2, 2010

World Autism Awareness Day


Edna: Margie, have I told you about my friend Mr. Mang? He has a wonderful son whose 14th birthday is today. (Happy Birthday, L'il Mang!) His son also happens to be autistic, which is something that impacts their whole family as they help him to navigate the world around him.

Today is World Autism Awareness Day and there are so many things people just don't know about autism. I wish everyone would take a minute out of their busy lives today to learn a fact or two. Like this one: Autism now affects 1 in 110 children and 1 in 70 boys. Or this one: Autism receives less than 5% of the research funding of many less prevalent childhood diseases.

Margie: Edna, I don't know a lot about it myself but I do believe in education. I have to agree with you that folks should try to learn a few facts about it.

I think we need to support more research too so we can know what causes it.

Edna: I think so too, Margie. Once our readers have picked themselves up off the floor from the shock of us agreeing with one another, I think they should head to the links below to learn more about autism and what's being done in terms of research and raising awareness and funds.


"Autism Speaks was founded in February 2005 by Bob and Suzanne Wright, grandparents of a child with autism. Since then, Autism Speaks has grown into the nation's largest autism science and advocacy organization, dedicated to funding research into the causes, prevention, treatments and a cure for autism; increasing awareness of autism spectrum disorders; and advocating for the needs of individuals with autism and their families."

"The Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism was established by NFL quarterback Doug Flutie and his wife, Laurie, in honor of their son, Doug, Jr. who was diagnosed with autism at the age of three. Doug and Laurie are fortunate to have the resources to provide their son with the educational opportunities, special equipment and tools necessary for Doug, Jr. to live a happy and rewarding life. They realize, however, that there are thousands of families of children with autism who struggle every day to pay for similar services. Their primary objective is to provide families with a place to turn when they are in need of support and autism resources."

"Temple Grandin, Ph.D., is the most accomplished and well-known adult with autism in the world. Dr. Grandin didn't talk until she was three and a half years old, communicating her frustration instead by screaming, peeping, and humming. In 1950, she was diagnosed with autism and her parents were told she should be institutionalized. She tells her story of "groping her way from the far side of darkness" in her book Emergence: Labeled Autistic, a book which stunned the world because, until its publication, most professionals and parents assumed that an autism diagnosis was virtually a death sentence to achievement or productivity in life."

"The TreeHouse Trust is a London-based charity, established in 1997 to provide an educational Centre of Excellence for children with autism. It was set up by a group of parents (including author Nick Hornby) whose children had recently been diagnosed with autism."

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Hoppin' down the bunny trail...with a tail full of buckshot


Margie: Edna, people are greedy and selfish and that's a fact. I sent Cousin T to find me some Cadbury eggs and do you think folks had the decency to leave a few on the shelves? No, they didn't. That's my favorite Easter candy too.

Edna: Copycat, you're just saying that because I said it was my favorite candy the other day. Maybe Cousin T just didn't look in the right places, because I had no problems stocking up.

I have a hankering for some of those malted milk candy eggs. I have a hard time eating them with the dentures, but they're just as tasty to suck on.

Margie: Suck on your thumb, big baby, and let me have that candy. Don't make me get my pistol to you.

Edna: Talk about all bark and no bite. What are you going to shoot me with, jelly beans?

Margie: I wouldn't waste a bean on you, dumb bunny. Try buckshot.

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