Visiting at the senior center

Margie: Edna, I went visiting over to the nursing home today and I'm sure glad I did. I don't think people are grateful enough for their health and mental well-being so everyone should visit the elderly sometimes.

I was ashamed of myself for complaining so much because those elderly folks can get in bad shape. Sister, it wouldn't hurt you to pay a visit there then you might quit being so grumpy.

Edna: Margie, you're the reason I'm grumpy and that's the truth. Still, you're right in that it wouldn't hurt to go visiting at the old folks home. You and I have each other, but some of those people have family who planted them there and then forgot about them. Now that's just a crying shame. I think they'd like to see a smiling face like mine every now and then, don't you?

Margie: Edna, I'm sorry to say that they probably would be glad to see even your ugly mug. Just try not to scare them.

Edna: And this is why you drive a body crazy. I try and have a serious conversation with you and all you can do is insult me. At least if I go visit the elderly, they won't argue with me and say mean things.

Margie: You're right, sister, so I'll call and reserve you a room right now.

Edna: Fine by me, you harpy.  As long as you don't come visit.

Old Sayings

Margie: I was just reading about old sayings from the 1500's, Edna, and this one made me think of you. Didn't you get married in June?

"Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell .... Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married."

Edna: Not as many times as you did, you floozy. Is that the reason why your bouquet was so big you had to have a bridesmaid help you carry it?

Margie: Folks, do you see why I can't have a polite conversation with this ninny? All she wants to do is insult me.

Here's another old saying that reminds me of Edna:

"Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Lord, I wish Mama had thrown Edna out.

Edna: Believe me, there are days I wish she had too, you harpy.