Fun Friday

Margie: Have you ever wondered why I think Friday is such fun? It's all thanks to my sister. You see, Edna gets up early on Friday and walks to the beauty parlor where she snoops and learns all the gossip.

Next, Edna visits the sick so she can pick up more gossip, spread a little that she knows, and offer comfort to any gentlemen who may need it.

Finally, Edna stops at Bailey's looking for someone to buy her lunch. I doubt she's ever paid for one of her meals there. Actually, she won this award a few years ago.

Gotta run. I get to watch some good movies while she's gone.

Common courtesy: a dying art

Image property of moderns_r_us

Edna: Margie, I've been noticing something more and more lately, and I just can't hold my tongue about it any longer. Where did everyone's manners go? I swan, it wasn't that long ago when it was common courtesy for men to take their hats off when dining in a restaurant. Nowadays, every Tom, Dick and Herman wears a backwards ball-cap out to dinner.

Margie: That's just rude and tacky. Edna, I think those are the same men who answer their cell phones and talk so loud that everybody within a mile knows all their business.

Edna: I just hope they don't do that in front of their mamas, but it's bad enough they do it in our earshot. And whatever happened to a gentleman standing up whenever a lady enters the room?

It makes me sad to think that the standard for good manners has gotten so lax. Time was, you could count on folks knowing how to handle themselves around other folks, but not anymore.

Margie: Edna, I think the mamas are letting these men be lax. Not only does a gentleman not stand anymore, Edna, but they almost knock you down to get in the store in front of you.

I'll tell you what could cure these bad manners- a hickory switch on the rear.

Edna: I think you're right, sister. I say we take a hickory switch along with us the next time we go out to eat and dole out a little rough justice on some folks. What do you think?

Margie: I'm all for that, sister.

Margie hears from Edna

From: cruisinedna@yahoo.com
Subject: Eat your heart out, old woman!
To: margieandedna@yahoo.com
Date: Tuesday, July 7, 2009, 2:05 PM

Dear Margie,

Well, isn't technology marvelous? Even out here in the middle of the ocean, I can send you an email to tell you have much fun I'm having without you! This cruise was such a wonderful idea, I'm glad I thought of it.

There are so many lovely gentlemen on this boat, I have my pick of the litter. The captain is quite a looker, and goodness, he does look sharp in his uniform. He let me steer the boat for a while the other evening, but he got handsy and distracted me while I was steering so I had to nip that in the bud. What if I'd steered us into another boat or something?

I should have gone on this trip years ago, I've always said that every lady should take a grand trip at least once in her life. I've seen so many lovely things. A gentleman friend of mine has let me borrow his digital camera and I've taken some dandy pictures! As soon as I figure out this uplink doohickey, I'll send you some photos. In the mean time, you behave yourself, you hear me?

Love, Edna

++++++++++++++

From: margieandedna@yahoo.com
Subject: RE: Eat your heart out, old woman!
To: cruisinedna@yahoo.com
Date: Tuesday, July 7, 2009, 2:58 PM

Dear Edna,

Why do you always pretend you can't wait to get away from me yet you contact me every time you go on vacation? I am having fun here too.

I haven't put on a stitch of clothes since you left. I'm as free as a bird. I do have to be careful, though, when I'm drinking my coffee.

I don't believe a word of your nonsense. What have you been drinking on that boat? You know you have to be careful with your allergies.

You keep on dreaming, Edna. I hope you meet a man who can stand your sharp tongue then you can just get married on the ship and keep on cruising.

I have to go now. I'm meeting the VFW down at Bailey's Tavern. I'm going to find me a young one and ask him to walk me home because I'm scared of the dark.

Don't forget to lean over the rail and take a nice picture of the water.

Your sister,

Margie

Qualities of A Gentleman

Image Courtesy the NYPL Digital Gallery

Margie: I know a lot about gentlemen and I'm here to tell you what to look for if you want a real man.


1. A gentleman has honor. He is honest and his word is his bond. He doesn't lie, cheat, or steal and he's certainly not a criminal.

2. A gentleman has self control. He isn't abusive and he doesn't fly off the handle at the drop of a hat. He doesn't drink to excess or partake of any other vices.

3. A gentleman is kind, mannerly, and compassionate. He has a good upbringing and respects all humans and creatures. He never raises his voice and is comfortable in any situation.

4. A gentleman is chivalrous. He treats everyone with respect. He holds the door for a lady, never walks ahead of her, and is concerned for her feelings. If he says she's the only one for him then he means it.

5. A gentleman has a delightful sense of humor. He does not, however, tell vulgar jokes especially in mixed company. He laughs with you and not at you.

Edna, do you have anything to add? I doubt you've ever known a gentleman.

Edna: Margie, I suppose you're right. Folks, she's known more gentlemen than I have, so I suppose you'd best listen to her.