Showing posts with label free. Show all posts
Showing posts with label free. Show all posts
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Sunday Funnies
Margie: I'm calling Cousin T right now to bring me a squirrel! I'm going to make this and give it to Edna for Christmas.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
June's Top Droppers
Friday, February 20, 2009
Fun Friday: Hoodie-Hoo
Margie: Friends, you all know how Edna insults me and hurts my feelings. She's always calling me names and being hateful. Well, here's how a good sister acts. I spent my own money and bought Edna a ticket to Jericho's Chocolate and Dessert Festival. It's true. I didn't swipe her credit card or take the money off her dresser.
All I ask in return is for Edna to do me one small favor. I want her to go outside at noon, wave her hands over her head, and shout, "Hoodie-Hoo." That's all.
Not only should that send winter away but Edna's screeching and her bird legs showing should drive the townfolks into laughter like they've never seen. Everybody in town will have a happy day.
By the way, Hoodie-Hoo Day is a copyrighted holiday.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday, December 12, 2008
National Ding-A-Ling Day
Margie: No, I'm not talking about bells or telephones when I refer to a ding-a-ling. That's because this holiday refers to wackos, lunatics, and nitwits. I cannot call any names here but I expect we all know at least one ding-a-ling.
So, get wild and crazy today and have some fun. Blame your behavior on the holiday. Be sure to watch this video and see some real ding-a-lings.
Monday, October 13, 2008
We Get Sentimental
Margie: Edna, I must be getting feeble-minded because I'm going to tell you something I've never told you before. You best be nice or I'll never tell you anything else ever.
It was 1940 and I was out with my beau. Your beau had taken you to a moving picture. You know Daddy made us come home early if we went out? Well, my beau and I lost track of time so I got home well past curfew. I knew my tushie was in big trouble so I needed to find a way to sneak into the house.
I was peeking in windows to see if I could get in when my eyes beheld the most amazing sight. I heard music and then I saw them. Edna, Mama and Daddy were dancing! Yes, I said Daddy. They never knew what time I got home that night and that's why you didn't get in trouble either.
Listen, Edna. Here's what they were playing.
Edna: Oh Margie, what a sweet memory of Mama and Daddy! Thank you for sharing it with me, I always knew that Daddy was a softy.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Exercise
Margie: Edna, you said this shooting pool is good exercise so you'd show me how to play. Why are you saying I owe you $100?
Edna: Margie, didn't I tell you about the teaching fee? You really should turn up your hearing aid, you old bat. Now, let's go down to Bailey's so I can collect more...teaching fees.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Redneck Relatives
Mama was a refined, gracious lady but that did not exempt her from having kin that embarrassed her.
Cousin Billie Jo is the daughter of Mama's baby sister. Poor Mama always said she couldn't understand how such an uncouth brood existed.
Cousin Billie Jo married John Rayburn Brummitt who is a kindly man but a drunkard. Mama once asked Billie Jo if John Rayburn drank and Billie Jo said, "Only when he's thirsty."
***********************
Margie: Edna, I got a letter from Cousin Billie Jo in Tennessee. You want to help me answer it?
Edna: Margie, you are welcome to answer that letter yourself if you have the time. Besides, I'm not speaking to Cousin Billie Jo since she called me wanting bail money, and then didn't even send a thank you note after it was wired!
Margie: Bail money? You never told me that!
Edna: What, you think I tell you everything? Just read the letter already, I don't have all day.
*************************************
Dear Cousin Margie,
This here's yor cousin billie jo. I got youn's letter t'day and wuz glad to hear from youn's. That Edna always was a pistol ball. Ain't she? I told all the folks bout her-whatcha said n all bout her and them there town fellas.
Wish y'all could come see us. Been a long while since we seed youn's. John Rayburn's been tending to the farm as aways. Always sumthin to do round this here place.
John jr. dun gone and signed up to go to the army. Said he's had enuff schooling. Alma Jean got herself hitched down to the walmark parking lot. them walmark folks is nice They said we could have the weddin'doings down there seein how alma jean works for em and all. she was perty and a good time was had by all. we did miss yor special tea tho, Margie.
After the weddin' seems like the whole town showed up for dinner. smoked a pig all night before and made turnip greens. that was some fine pot likker. Oh, the girls from the Sunday school pulled out all the stops. They brung ever kind of them casseroles you kin imagine. Tater salad and beet pickles, and one of them kilt and fried 12 chickens.
Cousin Hershel snuck in some hooch & we all said we thunk of you & cousin edna.
Hear's a pitcher of John rayburn, hershel, and john junior.
Rite me back, Margie, and tell Edna we may come see youn's & bring the whole busload of kin with us.
love,
billie jo
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