Summer holiday

Summertime is in full swing, and that means it's time for us to take a holiday.  Starting next week, Margie and Edna will be on hiatus during the month of July, but don't worry because the ladies will be back in full force in August.  In the meantime, we suggest to our readers that you spend some time offline during the month of July, and enjoy being with your friends and family. Go outside for a little sunshine and fresh air, if it's not too hot where you are.  Do a little traveling, even if it's just a mental vacation.  Recharge your batteries, and we'll be doing the exact same thing.  But don't get so relaxed that you forget to come back.  See you in August!


Love, Jane (Margie) and Beth (Edna)

Fruity Fridays!

Folks, this time of year makes us want to sit out on the porch under the ceiling fan and enjoy something cold and fruity.  It's about the only thing we can agree on when the weather gets hot and we get cranky.  Okay, crankier.  Maybe one of you wonderful blog readers would like to come over and whip us up a batch of Mango Strawberry Snow Cones?  We promise to share!

Tyler Florence's Mango Strawberry Snow Cones

Ingredients
Ice
2 mangoes, peeled and chopped
1 pint strawberries, hulled and sliced
1 lime juiced, plus wedges for garnish

Directions
Fill a food processor with ice. Process until the ice is very fine, like snow. Add the mangoes and strawberries and pulse to blend. Pile the crushed ice into dessert glasses or dishes and squeeze over the lime juice. Garnish with lime wedges; serve immediately.

Summer Peaches

Margie: Edna, look what Mrs. Pastor brought me. I love peaches and these are fresh from the orchard. I believe I'll make some pies. I have fond memories of peaches. Well, maybe I should say peach orchards.More than one gentleman has said I'm sweeter than any Georgia peach.

Edna:  You are tough as a peach pit, and that's closer to the God's honest truth.  I do love a good, ripe summer peach.  Even just the smell is enough to send me into raptures.

You tell me when that peach pie is done, I'll take a nice big slice.

Summertime TV Blues

Edna: Margie, I tell you what, I hate this time of year when our regular TV shows go on summer hiatus. We have to wait on pins and needles all summer, wondering how the story is going to take up where it left off. But it also leaves us with a lot of extra time on our hands over the summer months.

I don't want to sit around staring at your pruney face all summer, so I'm going to pick a few summer TV shows to watch instead. What do you think?

Margie: I think you're a dingbat and you talk too much while I'm watching TV. I did watch that new makeover show last night. It's about weight loss. That trainer, Chris Powell, made my eyes pop out but I wasn't pleased to learn that the girl was only losing weight to have that surgery. I thought she'd lose the weight all on her own.

I'm going to be watching Persons Unknown on NBC.  It's about about strangers coming together to solve the puzzle of their lives. Guess who is the puzzle of my life, sister?

Edna: It's nice to hear you acknowledge that I am mysterious and an enigma. You, however, are an open book...the kind you want to give away to Goodwill after reading the first few pages.

You know, I'm really looking forward to Falling Skies on TNT (Sunday June 19 at 9PM EST). It's about aliens, which should be good and scary. It also has that nice young man from ER, although he looks a lot scruffier in this show.

Mr. Noah "Scruffy" Wyle

Edna:  When I want a laugh, I'm going to watch Necessary Roughness on USA (Wednesday June 29 at 10PM EST). It's about a psychologist and a bunch of young football players in tight pants. That sounds like it might be up your alley, Margie.

Margie: Edna, I hope the skies fall on your big head. I'll watch those football players while you go to the psychologist.

Edna:  Margie, I think you're the one who needs a psychologist.  I just checked the interwebs and that Persons Unknown show you want to watch was on LAST summer, and it was canceled!  I swan, you're either off your meds or you've been tippling again.  

Margie:  Speaking of Necessary Roughness I think it's time for me to go oil my pistol.

Orange Crisp!

Margie: Edna, I have found the perfect drink for my summer and don't you touch it! It's called Orange Crisp and I think I'm going to be addicted. I love orange and I sure love a drink with a kick.


In these days when money is tight this looks like a good thing for me. I love a bargain. What will you be drinking this summer, sister?


Edna: We'd best be calling Cousin T to go down to the Save-a-Lot and buy some in bulk, because I love that stuff too! I don't want to be fighting you over the last bottle.


Margie: You best be calling him then and tell him to pick up a strong lock for me.

Margie's Swimming Pool

Margie: Edna, I'm all set for summer. Look at the swimming pool Cousin T & his boss made for me. The Margiedales are out of nursing school for the summer so we'll be hanging in the pool.

I asked Meals On Wheels to deliver my food to the pool every day too. Guess what, Edna? I can even stay in the pool while one of the boys drives us to Grace's Market to buy Pepsi.

Edna: Lord in heaven, Margie! Just when I think you can't embarrass me more, you sink to new lows.

You mark my words right here and now: if you go driving down the street in that thing, I'm going to call Deputy Jimmy and report a moving violation. You and the Margiedales are in for a heap of trouble, sister.

Margie: Sister, the only moving violation in this town is your mouth!

Edna: Just don't you forget that we have decency laws around here, too. I'm not coming to bail you out of jail because you've been riding around town topless, you floozy.

Fun Friday: watermelon

Edna: I love this time of year, when the summer fruits are getting ripe and sweet and it's easy to find wonderful produce everywhere you look. You know, I've got watermelon on my mind this week.

Edna: If you find yourself a high-quality melon, you don't have to gussy it up to enjoy it in all of its glory. My favorite method is to simply cut it up in slices and dig your face right in (seed-spitting is optional). But if you're dead-set on making something fancy, or you've got company over, then you might want to give these recipes a try.

Chilled Watermelon Soup Sounds yummy! But made with wine, so probably not a good choice for the kiddies.

Watermelon Granita Cool, and refreshing for all ages!

Watermelon, Feta, and Red Onion salad For you adventurous types.

Folks, what's your favorite way to eat watermelon?

Fun Friday

Margie: Edna, see you later. I'm going to check out the neighbors' new pool.




Margie: See why I don't tell her everything?

Got room for Margie, sweetie?

Romance Awareness Month

Margie: Edna, do you know why August is such a hot and steamy month? Because it's Romance Awareness Month.

Lawsy me, I have romance in all my genes. I've always been a romantic. I know you're not, Edna. Who'd want to go on a moonlit picnic with you anyway? You'd bore them to tears.

Edna: Margie, you're about as romantic as a patch of poison ivy. Why, if anyone here is a romantic, it's me--just ask any gentleman in town and they'll tell you so.

Margie: Edna, I assure you that I've asked around and the gentlemen don't mention your name and romantic in the same sentence.

Once upon a time, when my beau and I were... Never mind, Edna, that's private. Maybe I should teach some classes. What do you think?

Edna: Margie, you're not qualified to teach classes on anything except on how to be a cold-hearted shrew. Leave the romance classes to someone more experienced in the area, like me. Not that a lady like myself would ever dream to discuss such things in public, but I'm just saying.

Margie: Mama, are you there? You see how Edna treats me still? I know you did the best you could but she just never listened.

Edna, ladies such as yourself don't teach romance classes. Maybe you, big lush, should teach classes on how to get rid of a hangover.

Edna: Mama, do you see how she's still a big know-it-all? As many years as you've lived, Margie, you'd think you'd be used to being wrong by now.

Margie: I do know all because people tell on you, Edna. You don't fool me or our readers. Stick a sock in it.

Margie: Bathing Beauty

Margie: Edna, I am not a summer person. I hate this heat. I'm finally going to do something about it.

If you don't want me to go nekkid in the yard then you best look at these bathing suits I picked out and tell me which one would look best on my curvy body.

Edna: Just how many of those bathing suits are you planning on wearing at a time, Margie? You're going to need at least five if you want to cover all your curves.

Oh, all right, if I must choose then I like the one on the left. I'd best go call the neighbors and warn them you'll be out and about, flaunting your whatnot out in the front yard. They'll want to make sure they keep their children safely inside the house.

Margie: Good Lord, what an idiot you are! Why would I want to cover my curves, Edna? I'm going to get the bathing suit that shows the most curves then I'm pulling my lawn chair out by the mailbox. I'll lay and wait to see which gentleman stops first.

You worry about your own whatnot, nut case.

Summer TV

Margie: Edna, it's a crying shame that we have all these channels and I can't find a good TV show that interests me. Just because it's summer doesn't mean that all of us are doing other things instead of watching TV.

When folks get to be our age TV is about all we have to enjoy in the summer. We can't go outside and fall out from heat stroke or some such ailment. What do you think, sister?

Edna: Trust me, Margie, you don't want to know what I really think.

But I will say this, I hate it when my favorite show goes on summer hiatus. You go along great guns during the regular TV season, getting caught up in the story, then BAM! They yank the rug out from under you and make you wait precious months out of your life before you can find out what happens next. It's criminal, I tell you.

Margie: It surely is criminal. I'd like to know what idiot thinks I'll like these summer replacements. One of them is The Listener so I watched to see if I might like it. Well, the main character looks like he should still be in kindergarten and the storyline has been done on every show in every kind of way so it was boring.

I miss Ed Sullivan and Hee Haw and Lawrence Welk. Remember them, Edna?

Edna: Of course I remember them, although I always thought that Lawrence Welk was a little dry and dusty. Now Hee Haw, that was a show!

Margie, I've decided I'm going to let you watch all the summer replacement shows and you can tell me which ones to watch. While you're doing that, I'm going to spend my evenings down at the retirement home entertaining the available gentlemen.

Margie: Floozy, floozy, floozy! I'm not going to tell you what to watch because you don't deserve to know! I'm going to call CBS and tell them I've got a floozy who needs her own reality show. That'll give folks something to watch.

Besides, knowing CBS, they'll cancel you and maybe then I'll be rid of you for good. Floozy.

Edna: Well, this floozy plans on borrowing your diamond earbobs for my visits to the retirement home, so just fork 'em over.

And believe you me, I would welcome TV cameras into this house, because then the whole world could see just how poorly you treat me. I bet I'd get lots of wonderful fan mail, too. Margie, go ahead and call the network, I like this idea.

Margie:

Sunday Funnies

National Strawberry Month

Margie: Edna, I was just thinking about how I love strawberries. Remember how we used to go pick them then Mama would make jam and jelly?

Edna: Those wild strawberries were the sweetest I ever tasted, and Mama's jams and jellies were like summer in a jar.

Margie: Have you ever eaten a double strawberry, Edna? Legend says that if you break the strawberry in half and share it with a member of the opposite sex, you will soon fall in love with each other.

Edna: I've never heard that.... Margie, I do have to confess something. I shared double strawberries with each of your ex-husbands, which I guess explains why they all left you for me. I suppose I should apologize, although the only regret I truly have is that they were all duds as paramours. Those strawberries sure did taste mighty fine, though.

Margie: Edna, you're a double idiot. Why don't you make some sense and tell our readers where they can see more about our lovely hometown?

Edna: Well, they can always watch the "documentaries" that some moving picture company named CBS made about our little town of Jericho not too long ago. I've been watching them online every Tuesday night at 10PM EST. There's just something about that day and time that fills me with nostalgia.



Strawberry print courtesy of art.com