Romance Awareness Month

Margie: Edna, do you know why August is such a hot and steamy month? Because it's Romance Awareness Month.

Lawsy me, I have romance in all my genes. I've always been a romantic. I know you're not, Edna. Who'd want to go on a moonlit picnic with you anyway? You'd bore them to tears.

Edna: Margie, you're about as romantic as a patch of poison ivy. Why, if anyone here is a romantic, it's me--just ask any gentleman in town and they'll tell you so.

Margie: Edna, I assure you that I've asked around and the gentlemen don't mention your name and romantic in the same sentence.

Once upon a time, when my beau and I were... Never mind, Edna, that's private. Maybe I should teach some classes. What do you think?

Edna: Margie, you're not qualified to teach classes on anything except on how to be a cold-hearted shrew. Leave the romance classes to someone more experienced in the area, like me. Not that a lady like myself would ever dream to discuss such things in public, but I'm just saying.

Margie: Mama, are you there? You see how Edna treats me still? I know you did the best you could but she just never listened.

Edna, ladies such as yourself don't teach romance classes. Maybe you, big lush, should teach classes on how to get rid of a hangover.

Edna: Mama, do you see how she's still a big know-it-all? As many years as you've lived, Margie, you'd think you'd be used to being wrong by now.

Margie: I do know all because people tell on you, Edna. You don't fool me or our readers. Stick a sock in it.