The Best Kisser

Margie: Edna, we are going to have a pleasant evening so come in the parlor and let's have a nice cordial.

Listen to the rain on our tin roof. Isn't that nice? Let's talk.

Edna: You know it makes me nervous when you're this sweet and considerate, Margie. Just tell me who died, I can take it.

Margie: Edna, you can be so silly. Nobody died. I wanted us to discuss some happy memories.

For example, do you remember your first boyfriend? Weren't you about 7?

Edna: Hmph, that's not a very happy memory for me, considering you stole him from me. You always were into younger men, you big floozy.

Margie: Now now, sister. Let's be pleasant here. I know a memory that will be nice for you.

Who was the best kisser out of all the gentlemen you ever kissed? Tell the truth, Edna.

Edna: You'll have to pardon me, sister, it's just so unlike you to be pleasant. I'm a mite taken aback.

The best kisser out of all the gentlemen? Since there have been so few, what with me being a lady and all, it's not hard to pick one. That would have to be Stanley Richmond's grandpa, Mortimer. My stars, but that man could kiss! We had some good times up in the hayloft when we were both a whole lot younger.

Margie: Edna, you're a lying liar! No lady would have been in the hayloft with Mortimer. Besides, Daddy used to say he was going to lock you in your room if you didn't stop bringing so many boyfriends home.

You just won't let anybody have a pleasant time, Edna. You're a floozy! And, besides, you just took away my story of the best kisser I ever knew! I'll just go to bed!

Edna: See, folks? I knew she'd crack eventually.