Thursday, August 6, 2009

Edna and the tomato patch

Edna: Margie, help me into my rocker, I'm all cramped up from sleeping on the ground last night.

Margie: Help yourself dingbat. I heard the back door creak open this morning about dawn. Dare I ask why you slept on the ground?

Edna: Well, see now, that's the problem. I have no recollection of anything that happened last night after dinner until I woke up this morning out in the tomato patch. I hate to say it sister, but I'm getting too old to hold my special tea.

Margie: It's a good thing my memory is fine. You kept drinking special tea last night and telling me jokes you heard on your cruise. I finally went to bed but you told me to leave the special tea so you kept drinking and talking to yourself.

You're a plain glutton, Edna. Maybe you best switch to water.

Edna: This ought to tell you how bad I feel this morning, because I actually agree with you. Lord-a-mercy, I'm starting to think those teetotallers have the right idea! Maybe I'll switch to lemonade from now on.

Margie: Edna, I think you're very wise to do that. May I suggest Smirnoff's Tuscan Lemonade? Try that on for size.


Edna: Sounds mighty tasty, but maybe that's a bad idea too. I can just see it now: I sit down to have a glass of your fancified lemonade after dinner, and the next thing you know I'm crank-calling the neighbors and singing Rudy Vallee tunes out in the front yard under the moonlight. I think your original idea was the right one, it's only water for me.


RE - Entrepod said...

Ladies, that wouldn't be Long Island Iced Tea would it ?

please take your tea in moderation; trust me, it's better chased hard with Asprin. ;)

Grampy said...

Every once in awhile you need a little extra before bed. Just be careful it is not the great outdoors that is your bed.
This blog just cracks me up. Good job ladies.

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

Water is best--go for it!

DineometerDeb said...

So Edna, I guess Margie doesn't know that you slipped out to go drinking with me then? Sorry, you were just too heavy (no offense) to drag all the way into the house, so I just left you in the tomato patch.

Seriously though, next time YOU are buying. None of this "Margie won't let me have any money, bla bla bla." I'm not buying it. Literally or figuratively.

And one more thing. You owe the reverends son a BIG apology you old cougar you.

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