Monday, June 8, 2009
Margie: Edna, it's a crying shame that we have all these channels and I can't find a good TV show that interests me. Just because it's summer doesn't mean that all of us are doing other things instead of watching TV.
When folks get to be our age TV is about all we have to enjoy in the summer. We can't go outside and fall out from heat stroke or some such ailment. What do you think, sister?
Edna: Trust me, Margie, you don't want to know what I really think.
But I will say this, I hate it when my favorite show goes on summer hiatus. You go along great guns during the regular TV season, getting caught up in the story, then BAM! They yank the rug out from under you and make you wait precious months out of your life before you can find out what happens next. It's criminal, I tell you.
Margie: It surely is criminal. I'd like to know what idiot thinks I'll like these summer replacements. One of them is The Listener so I watched to see if I might like it. Well, the main character looks like he should still be in kindergarten and the storyline has been done on every show in every kind of way so it was boring.
I miss Ed Sullivan and Hee Haw and Lawrence Welk. Remember them, Edna?
Edna: Of course I remember them, although I always thought that Lawrence Welk was a little dry and dusty. Now Hee Haw, that was a show!
Margie, I've decided I'm going to let you watch all the summer replacement shows and you can tell me which ones to watch. While you're doing that, I'm going to spend my evenings down at the retirement home entertaining the available gentlemen.
Margie: Floozy, floozy, floozy! I'm not going to tell you what to watch because you don't deserve to know! I'm going to call CBS and tell them I've got a floozy who needs her own reality show. That'll give folks something to watch.
Besides, knowing CBS, they'll cancel you and maybe then I'll be rid of you for good. Floozy.
Edna: Well, this floozy plans on borrowing your diamond earbobs for my visits to the retirement home, so just fork 'em over.
And believe you me, I would welcome TV cameras into this house, because then the whole world could see just how poorly you treat me. I bet I'd get lots of wonderful fan mail, too. Margie, go ahead and call the network, I like this idea.