Margie: Edna, I was just in the garden gathering some cucumbers. I'm telling you these mosquitos are awful this year. They bite me day and night. They've done that since I was a little girl.
I looked them up on Giggle and it says they like sweet things. That must be true, Edna, because I'm one of the sweetest things around. Do you think that's why they bite me?
Edna: Margie, your capacity for self-delusion is truly astounding. The only time you were the sweetest thing around was when you made that lemonade and forgot to add the sugar.
But I'll tell you what, I can't stand those little biting no-see-ums either. I'm not going outside again this summer without some of my Avon Skin-So-Soft, that stuff is amazing for keeping bugs from biting.
Margie: I needed some repellent too so I borrowed some change off your dresser.
Edna, you think you're so smart so answer a question. I know about no-see-ums but how do people know they exist if you can't see um? Is it possible to turn a person into a no-see-um?
Edna: Oh Margie, how I wish it were.