Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Edna: Margie, how about you tell our nice readers about that embarrassing incident you started the other day at the library. Go ahead, tell them.
Margie: Why must you lie, Edna? It was you who acted out in the library. Do you really think I'd show out in my former place of employment?
Dear readers, my sister is not a nice person. Never go to the library with her and try to pick out a movie to watch.
Edna: I can see I can't trust you to tell an accurate version of events, so I'll just explain to our readers what really happened.
Yes, Margie and I did go to the library to pick out a movie to watch. But she was being her mean and hateful self, as usual, and she wouldn't agree with any of the wonderful movies I had picked out.
Margie: Edna threw a hissy fit because I wanted to get a nice Western. Edna wants to watch dancing or love stories. Give me a manly man and horse movie any time.
Edna, there was no need to yell in the library. I hope somebody tells Pastor.
Edna: Oh no, I'm not the one who was making all that noise and causing the library patrons to look at us like we were heathens. Didn't you see that young mother hustling her children away from you while you were having your conniption fit? She told me as she went by that she hoped my sister learned to control herself better in public. She meant you, you harpy.
And what's wrong with dancing or love stories? All you do with those Westerns is tell lies about how you used to date all the handsome actors. Besides, I look at a horse's rear end across the dinner table every single day, I for sure don't want to look at any more on the TV.
Margie: Edna, as usual you have lied to try to make yourself look good. You are trash but try so hard to hide it.
There's nothing wrong with dancing or love stories if we could hear them in the English language. Lord a mercy, that French screeching gets on my nerves.
I know, Edna. I always hold the mirror up at the dinner table so you can look at yourself and I don't have to. Ruin my appetite.
Edna: You see how she talks to me, folks? Margie, I hope you've got a back-up plan, because that security guard said they're not letting us back there for at least a month. That's the only place in town that had free movies, I hope you're proud of yourself.
Margie: I am proud because I have friends who will let me in and I'll get the movies I want to see for a change. Spoiled brat.