Edna's House Rules

Margie: Cousin T, thank you so much for staying with me while Edna is gone. I get a little scared after dark.

Cousin T: (nodding and smiling)

Now, Edna did want me to give you the house rules because you'll be sleeping in her bedroom. I know it's a little fancy for you but just make do. Let me read the rules.

Cousin T: (Still nodding, the smile gives way)

First, Edna writes, "That boy can use my bedroom, but he'd best not leave boot prints all over my chenille bedspread. And you tell him there will be heck to pay if I find he's tracked sawdust into my bedroom."

Cousin T: (Eyes narrowing)

Second, never leave the toilet seat up, since Margie doesn't wear her glasses to go to the bathroom and she might get stuck if she doesn't look before sitting down.

Cousin T: (Eyes widen)



Here are the other rules:

Clean out the tub if you shower.

Cousin T: (Eyebrow goes up)

No leaving empty beer cans on the porch railing.

Cousin T: (Another follows)

No cussin', spittin', scratchin', or belchin'.

Cousin T: (Head tilts forward)

Edna: I don't want to come back and learn that he's been using my garter belts as tool belts. He best stay out of my chifferobe too.

Cousin T: (Audible noise from the throat)

Margie: Never fear, Cousin T. Edna isn't here so make yourself to home. What Edna doesn't know won't hurt us. Want some special tea now?

Cousin T bolts for the kitchen.

Ask Margie and Edna

This question is for Miss Edna. When you was in Paris France did you see any outstandin' art work in the louver?

Edna: That's a fine question, and I could see why you'd ask that, considering that it's well known that I spent some time in Paris, France as a young girl. France is known for its many works of art, especially in that fancy art museum there in Paris. I should point out that when I was there, I had my hands full with other matters, there was no time for swanning around like a tourist in art museums. Let me put it this way: I went for vacation, as was the fashion for young American ladies at that time. But once there I actively resisted leaving the French in the state they were in, if you catch my meaning. Besides, there wasn't anything to see in the Louvre then; the Frenchies had the good sense to hide their artwork away to keep it safe from this nasty little man that Europe was dealing with at the time.

That's all I can say about that, I'm sure you understand that anything else I could say about my time there is considered classified information.



And here is one for Miss Margie: Do you think people are gee-netically predisposed to lie?

Margie: I am proud to say that I have studied this question in depth for many years. I will tell you what I have discovered.

There are liars, lying liars, and people who just wouldn't know the truth if it bit them. Liars only lie when it's convenient so that's not genetic.

Lying liars are people like Edna who lie because they are sad creatures with no one paying them any attention.

It's only genetic if you don't really know what the truth is. Like delusions.

Thank you for asking.



Once again, Margie and Edna, Jericho's oldest advice columnists, give advice to the hapless and the clueless out there. They've put on their thinking caps, just to give you the very best that their sharp brains (and sharper tongues) have to offer.

Here’s your chance to get some advice from Jericho’s #1 gossip and advice mavens. Do you have a question for Margie and Edna? Submit your questions, and Margie and Edna will tackle your toughest problems and concerns.

Send your questions to: sweettea1@myway.com, put “Ask Margie and Edna” in the subject line. We reserve the right to edit questions for length, spelling, etc. Please bear in mind, it’s possible that not all questions will be selected to be answered. Keep watching this space, maybe Margie and Edna will answer your question next!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only. "Margie" and "Edna" are not real people, so please don't send us questions about serious issues. And please don't send us questions that you'd be better off asking a professional, as we are not qualified to answer such questions.

Margie and Edna: Elvis Lives

Margie: Here's a picture of me, Cousin T, and Cousin T's mama when we first met Elvis. I knew your head had a purpose, Cousin T.


Margie: Edna, I was just thinking about the time I had Elvis in the basement for a visit. What a lovely gentleman he was. We had Special Tea and I made his favorite peanut butter sandwiches. You were gone to Paris, Texas so that made his visit even more special.

Edna: Margie, every time you open your mouth, you give me cause to worry about your mental status. First of all, I went to Paris, France, not Paris, Texas. Second of all, when I was in Paris, France, that young man was barely out of short pants, so I can't imagine you'd have been "entertaining" him in the basement. You always did get your stories mixed up.

Margie: You are a lying liar. You have never been to France, fool. If you'd been to France you'd know some French words like the ones Elvis whispered to me.

Edna: Land sakes, how could I have heard what he whispered to you, you maroon? But, I'm betting what he actually said to you was "Vous etes fou et dangereuse" and then he escaped from the basement, yelling "Aidez-moi!"

Margie, you're the lying liar, you know full well that I've been to France. You're just saying I haven't to vex me, and it surely is working! Besides, you know the government asked me not to talk about it, so that's all I'm going to say about that.

Margie: And I have a final word for you, you Nut! Who do you think took Elvis in when he tired of the spotlight? Elvis lives! In my basement.

Here are the pictures I took of him in the basement, you fool.