Margie: Cousin T, thank you so much for staying with me while Edna is gone. I get a little scared after dark.
Cousin T: (nodding and smiling)
Now, Edna did want me to give you the house rules because you'll be sleeping in her bedroom. I know it's a little fancy for you but just make do. Let me read the rules.
Cousin T: (Still nodding, the smile gives way)
First, Edna writes, "That boy can use my bedroom, but he'd best not leave boot prints all over my chenille bedspread. And you tell him there will be heck to pay if I find he's tracked sawdust into my bedroom."
Cousin T: (Eyes narrowing)
Second, never leave the toilet seat up, since Margie doesn't wear her glasses to go to the bathroom and she might get stuck if she doesn't look before sitting down.
Cousin T: (Eyes widen)
Here are the other rules:
Clean out the tub if you shower.
Cousin T: (Eyebrow goes up)
No leaving empty beer cans on the porch railing.
Cousin T: (Another follows)
No cussin', spittin', scratchin', or belchin'.
Cousin T: (Head tilts forward)
Edna: I don't want to come back and learn that he's been using my garter belts as tool belts. He best stay out of my chifferobe too.
Cousin T: (Audible noise from the throat)
Margie: Never fear, Cousin T. Edna isn't here so make yourself to home. What Edna doesn't know won't hurt us. Want some special tea now?
Cousin T bolts for the kitchen.