Margie: Edna, drag yourself out of bed and look what Deputy Jimmy just brought us. He's the sweetest man I've ever seen. He brought one for each of us.
Edna: Well, I tell you what, that Deputy Jimmy is mighty sweet but sometimes he's dumber than a stump. Does he really think that two old women are going to be able to take care of those tiny kittens? I don't care how cute they are, they need a lot of attention.
You're in charge of the litter box, Margie.
Margie: See Edna? It's people like you who make it necessary to have an Adopt-A-Cat month. You're just heartless. Did you know that picking up a cat has a nearly instantaneous calming effect on humans, causing blood pressure to drop and the heart rate to slow? I guess you'd have to have a heart first though.
Edna: Oh for the love of Pete! I didn't say we shouldn't keep them, but he really should have asked us first. Think about all the pets who are given as gifts that end up at shelters. If people just thought first, maybe there wouldn't have to be an Adopt-A-Cat month.
According to The Berlin Longevity Institute, cats can add as much as 10 years to their owners' lives.
The estimated population of homeless cats in the United States (70 million) is almost equal to the number of owned cats (75 million).