Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Margie: Edna, get in here. I've got big news. Betty Lou just called and said she's won a trip for 2 to Las Vegas. She's invited me to go with her.
I'm making a list of things you need to do while I'm gone. I can't trust you to take care of things unless I make you a list.
Edna: Oh happy day, she'll be out of my hair and in a whole other state for---wait, how long are you going to be gone?
And if I weren't such a lady, I would tell you what to do with your list.
Margie: Edna, if I wasn't a lady, I'd chain you to your bed while I'm gone.
Don't you worry about how long I'll be gone. You just know I can return at any time so you behave yourself. Here's your list.
Edna: Margie, you can just take that ding-dang list with you to Vegas, I sure won't be looking at it. I'll run the house how I see fit while you're gone, and if you don't like it then nuts to you.
I wonder if I should call Betty Lou and warn her that she's picked a harpy for a traveling companion?
Margie: Edna, you do that. I won't feel bad then about not sharing any of my winnings.
Deal or no deal?
Edna: Margie, if you bring home any winnings I will eat my Sunday bonnet. Knowing you, anything you do win will be spent on tips at one of those beefcake reviews.
But listen up, sister: if I catch wind of you going behind my back and using any of MY money on this trip into the den of iniquity, you will not be allowed back in this house. You hear me?
Margie: What did you say about beefcake reviews?
Edna: Oh, good Lord. You go pack, I'm going to go warn--er, call Betty Lou.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Edna: Margie, look here. The paper says tomorrow is Gene Autry's birthday. Gosh, remember how much you used to love to listen to him sing?
Margie: I surely did. I remember when he'd come to court me and he'd even have Mama and Daddy out on the porch listening. Daddy always sent you to bed early because you were so mean.
Edna: Margie, why must you persist in telling stories that aren't true? Gene Autry never courted you! You're thinking of Gene Autwell, that plumber from over in Wichita who thought he was a cowboy. Remember how he tried to ride a horse to see you that one time, but the poor thing bucked him off before he even made it out of Wichita?
Margie: Edna, you're a lying liar. Gene Autwell? Wasn't he the one who became a rodeo clown soon after that? Wonder what became of him?
Edna: I don't know, but I'll tell you what I do know: there is only one lying liar in this conversation and it most definitely is not me. Why don't we just put up a nice Gene Autry clip for our readers to listen to?
Margie: Edna, I'm positive we'd all prefer that as to listen to your mouth.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Margie: Here's a little project I'll be working on this week. Anyone else want to see if this really works?
Friday, September 25, 2009
Edna: When I was just a little girl, Daddy took Margie and I to the picture show, which was something we did pretty often of a Saturday afternoon. But one Saturday was special, it was the day I saw Baby Rose Marie singing her heart out on screen in a film short before the main feature. And oh, a dream was born! How I begged Mama and Daddy to let me go straight to Hollywood to be a child singer, just like Baby Rose Marie. The fact that I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket didn't mean anything to me, I just saw a little girl up on screen who looked just like me, and I wanted to do it too.
Many years later, I was delighted to find a grown-up Rose Marie starring in one of my favorite TV shows of all time, The Dick Van Dyke Show. Rose Marie is still alive today, bless her heart. I wonder if she can still belt out the tunes?
Baby Rose Marie singing "You're Gonna Lose Your Gal" (1934)
Video clip courtesy of GoodOldDays
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Many thanks to our good friends, Silly Willy and Fluffy, for presenting us with the Friendship Blog Award!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Edna: Many thanks to all of you who asked us questions last week! We hope you all enjoy reading our responses. If you haven't already checked it out, we answered some of the questions in yesterday's post. Below are all the answers we didn't get to yesterday.
1. From Mara:
What do you do when a friend of yours starts "copying" you? Your words, your expressions, your favorite food and restaurants, almost everything that it's starting to annoy you. She may mean no harm though and it looks like she's not even aware that she's doing it.
Margie: Edna has done that to me and it's because she's jealous and wants to be me. You may have to ask your friend if she's noticed what she's doing. She probably hasn't.
Edna: Margie gave you some good advice about talking to your friend. It always helps to get these issues out in the open if something is bothering you. And always keep in mind that no matter how annoying it may be, she wouldn't do those things if she didn't admire you.
And for the record, I never copy Margie--she's nobody's idea of a good role model.
Also from Mara: This might be too personal for both of you so it's okay if you don't give out details but I'm just curious whether you two fight and how long did it last?
Margie: Well, we haven't had physical fights but Edna's tongue is as sharp as a sword. I suppose it's safe to say that we've been fighting nearly 75 years.
Edna: My sister speaks the truth, it's been one ongoing argument about something or other since I was born. The best I can tell, Margie was jealous that I came along and replaced her as the favorite in the household. She's been trying to take me down a peg ever since. Mind you, that doesn't mean we don't love each other--you show me a family who claims they don't argue and I'll show you a family of lying liars.
2. From Con Artist Trickster:
Pick one between these two:
A week without washing dishes but you can't watch your dear boys' movies. (Or)
A week with extra movies of your favorite boys but with extra house cleaning also.
Margie: I'll pick the boys every time no matter how much extra work I'd have to do.
Edna: I agree with Margie. What's the point of having extra entertainment if all your time is taken up with the extra housework?
3. From Hitesh Rawat:
Why Margie and Edna's Basement...... why not....roof....kitchen.....?
Margie: Because we don't allow men on the roof or in the kitchen. Gentlemen belong in the basement where I can keep them in sight.
4. From Doctor Faustroll:
Is Toto there?
Margie: I don't wear a tutu unless...
Edna: Doctor Faustroll, you'll have to excuse my idiot sister. To answer your question: no, Toto is not here. Neither is the Tin Man, although my sister reminds me an awful lot of that horrible Wicked Witch of the West. I like to call her the Wicked Witch of the Basement, but usually only when she has her hearing aid turned down.
5. From Daily Spirit Online:
Do either of you belong to any old ladies societies or groups and if so/not why/why not?
Edna: Well, my sister and I belong to the ladies' group at the church. I don't know if that counts, it seems like we're the only two old ladies still spry enough to participate. I do like the idea of that Red Hat Society, where they eat dessert first, but wearing red and purple together just isn't my style.
Margie: I answer no questions asked by somebody who calls me an "old lady."
Monday, September 21, 2009
Margie: Edna and I thank all of you who recently participated in asking us questions. We will be posting our answers today and tomorrow.
We had a lot of fun answering all of these. We tried to be as honest as we could.
1. From Karen:
Do either of you have a favorite dessert? If so, may we have the recipe?
Margie: My favorite dessert is one my grandmother made. She had learned the recipe from her mother and taught it to me. It's called a Butter Roll and I don't go by a recipe because I just make it like my grandma did. Some people use milk but I much prefer making it with water.
Here are a few recipes for you to check then you can pick the one that suits you best.
Edna: My favorite dessert is one I make every Thanksgiving, it's a delicious sweet potato pie. Some people say it tastes just like a pumpkin pie, but I think mine is far tastier. This is a good recipe, and I usually like to doctor it up with a little bit of ground cloves and a pinch of ginger. For a richer pie, you can substitute light cream for the evaporated milk.
2. From Patricia:
I would so like to know more about the two of you. Have either of you been married? If not, I'm assuming you both have broken at least a few hearts in your day. Are there any stories you could tell?
Edna: Oh honey, I've got plenty of stories, but none that I should tell. I will tell you that I have been married two times, and have broken many more hearts than that. Does that answer your question, dear?
Margie: I've got plenty of stories I could tell about Edna too! Can you say stalker? As for me, I've only been married once. I prefer to play the field.
3. From Poetic Shutterbug:
It seems like you've both had very interesting lives. Do you ever get bored? And, if so, what do you do to shake things up?
Margie: I never get bored because I always have books on hand and I do love to read. When I take a break from reading I like to push Edna's buttons and watch her go ballistic. She's a riot!
4. From Stephanie B:
Why is it so easy for people to bring themselves to hate others? Has there ever been a time when hatred has solved a societal ill?
Edna: Dear, I think it's because there are so many people who hate themselves, so they just push that hate out on to others. It's a crying shame, but there it is. And I do not believe that hatred has ever solved any societal ill, it just makes them worse. Sadly, love seems to be a harder lesson to teach folks than hate.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Margie: I'm calling Cousin T right now to bring me a squirrel! I'm going to make this and give it to Edna for Christmas.
Friday, September 18, 2009
The Primetime Emmy Awards are coming up this Sunday night, and as usual we don't fully agree with all the choices the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences has made. So, in what has become a tradition here in the Basement, we present to you our very own...
Show that was finally (thankfully) put out of its misery: According to Jim (ABC)
Shows that shouldn't have been canceled
but, sadly, were:
Pushing Daisies (ABC), Samantha Who? (ABC)
Best last-minute show renewal choice: Chuck (NBC)
Sweetest voice: Jensen Ackles
(Supernatural, The CW)
Harper's Island (CBS)
Most exciting show: Sons of Anarchy (FX)
Best reality show: 2-way tie
Margie's Choice: The Biggest Loser
Edna's Choice: Dancing With the Stars
Oddest Romantic Coupling: Sawyer and Juliet
Most nail-biting season finale: Lucifer's summoning on Supernatural (The CW)
Show that is quickly surpassing LOST as being confusing as all get-out: Fringe (Fox)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Margie: My gosh-darn sister, Edna the nitwit, tries to mess up everything I do. Here she wants me to do my Fun Friday on a Thursday! Well, if that's what she wants then she's gonna get it.
Look at this folks. This is my new love- Jax from Sons of Anarchy on FX. He's delicious.
This is Maggie Siff. She plays Jax's girlfriend, Tara, on the show. Lord a mercy, I'd like to trade bodies with her for about a week.
This is the best show on TV today. Yes, it's quite violent at times and the language is rough to my dignified ears but I just keep my eyes on the Jax. I meant to say the screen.
Ladies, come see all these fine motorcycle men. They are just hot. FX on Tuesday nights at 10:00 ET. Enjoy!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Margie: Edna, I have an idea to share with our readers. What do you think about letting them ask us questions?
For instance, they might want to ask why you're so crabby all the time. I'd like to hear that answer myself.
Edna: Margie, I doubt our readers would ask that. They're much too polite to make crass (and false) observations like that.
I do like this idea, though. We have a lot of knowledge to share...well, I do anyway. You're just a blowhard.
Margie: Genteel ladies like me can answer most any question from polite society. I know all about cooking, gardening, handsome gentlemen, rules of dating, and so forth.
Actually, there's not much I don't know. I'm not too good at math or geography though. What do you know, Edna?
Edna: I'm sure there's plenty you don't know, but I'll make up for your shortcomings like I always do. To paraphrase my favorite TV character, Dean Winchester: "I know a little about a lot of things, just enough to make me dangerous."
This could be fun, Margie!
Margie: Fruit loop!
Okay friends, here's your chance to ask us whatever you'd like to know. Please excuse us if we don't answer questions of a too personal nature. Ladies never tell as you know.
Anything else, Edna?
Edna: I think that pretty much says it all, Margie. We'll do our best to answer your questions, dear readers. And I'll try and keep my sister from lying when she doesn't know the answer.
Please leave your questions in the comments, and we will respond to them on Sept. 21st.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Margie: Edna, that 5th season episode premiere of Supernatural made my hair stand on end. I just loved seeing my boys back in action.
Well, that Jensen Ackles just rules my heart. He is too hot and too fine. That Castiel isn't so bad either. How did you like this episode?
Edna: Margie, it just figures that with a suspenseful episode like that, you'd focus on beefcake. You're no better than that Becky, Sam's fangirl.
Didn't you even notice about Bobby being possessed by a demon? What about the boys being saved from Lucifer? Or, for that matter, Lucifer finding himself a "vessel" so the Apocalypse can begin?
Margie: I certainly did notice all that and Bobby scared me! I loved the way Dean looked when that Becky girl seemed disappointed in him. I can make that up to him for sure.
It made me sad, Edna, when Dean told Sam he doesn't trust him anymore. I know exactly how it feels to have a close relative that you can't trust!
Edna: So do I, Margie, and that's the truth. I thought that part was sad too, but I understand why Dean said what he did. Sam has a lot to answer for from the past year, and I really do hope those two brothers can learn to trust each other again once this is all over and done with.
Margie, do you think we should worry that we talk about these folks like they're real?
Margie: Edna, I think we have more important things to worry about than that, don't you?
Edna: Er, we do? If you say so, sister.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Margie: My sister says she is not a floozy. Look at this picture of her legs and decide if she's being honest.
No wonder she didn't want to show her face.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Edna: I'm glad that this long, hot summer is almost over. There were days it seemed like it was so hot that Margie and I were in danger of melting into crabby-old-lady puddles. The only thing that really made this summer bearable were Edy's Creamy Coconut bars.
Folks, I tell you what, these are the best things I've tasted in a good long while. And an added benefit is that any time Margie started mouthing off, I just stuck one of these in her piehole and she shut right up. That alone makes them worth their weight in gold.
*This is not a paid post, this is just my unsolicited opinion about a very tasty treat. However, if Edy's wanted to pay me for my opinion, I would not say no.
Dear Edy's: I would also not say no to a free case of Creamy Coconut Fruit Bars. Yours truly, Edna
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Edna: Margie, look at the time! Why didn't you tell me I'd been online this long? Honestly, sometimes I think the Internet is both a blessing and a curse, and that's the truth.
Margie: Edna, that's why nothing gets done around here. I suppose you're trying to find a man. You best be careful because bad folks can get information about you from that computer.
Edna: I'm always careful online, that's another reason why the Internet can be a dangerous thing. That, and people emailing you left and right, even though you said you never wanted to hear from them again.
Margie: Edna, do I hear gossip there? Who did you tell not to email you anymore? Mr. Jones? The mailman?
I worry about young children, Edna. Where's the fun of going to the library and researching topics from books? And all these old perverts trying to get to the children. Those perverts are the worst.
Edna: They are, aren't they? People with more time than morals (or sense) should not be allowed to have an Internet connection. We should write our Congresswoman about that, she hasn't had a letter from us in at least a week.
I worry about the children too, because I fear that the Internet is raising a generation of young people to be lazy about what they read online, and they're not as prudent with their personal information as they should be. In our day, there just wasn't the chance to publish your business all over kingdom come for perfect strangers to read. Imagine, we never would have taken out an ad in the Jericho Courier telling people that our "relationship status" had changed. Well, I wouldn't have anyway, I had more decorum than some people around here.
Margie: Good idea. Let's write her tonight. No pervert should be allowed to have a computer!
I'm glad we never spread our business all over town. Look at some of these blogs we visit. Some of them have near nekkid pictures. I saw one today of a nekkid cowboy. Edna, are all perverts male?
Edna: I think you already know the answer to that, you floozy.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Margie: Edna, I just had the most pleasant memory about Mama and Daddy. I bet you can guess what it is.
Think about comic strips and how Mama and Daddy loved the same one. Do you remember which one it was?
Edna: Of course I do, I'm not daft yet. They just loved that Blondie and Dagwood, Daddy said reading it always tickled his funny bone.
You know, my first husband Joe used to call me Blondie.
Margie: Good gosh a mighty, idiot, you always bring that up. That was 70 years ago and Joe is gone. He got religion after being married to a demon.
Anyway, you're so flusterating! Blondie was first published in 1930 and Dagwood was a rich playboy back then. I don't recall that.
Edna: Margie! Don't you go making our readers think I'm older than I am, I was married to Joe only 40 years ago and you know it.
And it just figures you'd notice that Dagwood was a rich playboy, you're such a gold-digging hussy. I suppose Blondie was his trophy wife?
Margie: I suppose Dagwood's daddy thought so because he disowned Dagwood when he and Blondie married.
Edna, remember how Daddy would have a Dagwood sandwich every Saturday after he did the yard work? Those were the days.
Edna: Now you're making me hungry, sister. Is it time for lunch yet? I've got a hankering for one of those sandwiches.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Edna: Margie, I was just plumb shocked by what you posted with those young men last Friday. You just won't be happy until you've completely filthed up our blog, will you? I swan, you have the morals of a barnyard weasel. If I weren't a lady, I'd tell you what I really thought of you.
I'm not even going to ask where you found that second picture...
Margie: Edna, you're so jealous. You always have been. You're no lady, toad, and you know it. Where I get my pictures is none of your concern.
Edna: A true lady would never display questionable pictures of semi-nude cowboys on a public blog, not that I'd expect you to know any better. You always did have a slim grasp on propriety.
You'd best be glad that Mama isn't alive to see these shenanigans, Daddy either.
Margie: Questionable???? There are no questions about these pictures. I can see them well.
You're a fruit loop. Besides, Edna, I don't say one thing in public then say different behind closed doors like you do.
Mama, Edna's a lying liar!!
Edna: Lord, she is surely trying my patience today. Please give me the strength not to sock her in the nose.
At least I know what it means to be discreet. You know, Mama surely did teach us better than to go around in public acting like floozies. My lands, cats in heat act more dignified than you do.
Margie: Listen, old lady, I'm starting my own business. How would I ever get customers if I just hid all those sweet cowboys and kept them for myself?
Hmm, what a lovely thought. Anyway, Edna, kiss my oats. Meow!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Margie: Ladies, are you fed up with men having all the fun? Just look at this.
I think the time for change has come so I've decided to start my own business for ladies only. My cowboys will be out and about to entertain you.
First, I need a few good ladies to drop by the basement and help me select our finalists from these manly applicants. Take a look then come on over and help me pick out the most qualified.
Look them over, ladies. Touching is permitted.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Photo courtesy of sugar_pop78
Edna: Margie, I'm so happy that we'll have new TV episodes to watch soon. I swan, I've gotten tired of just staring at your face for entertainment all summer.
Margie: Well, I'm tired of hearing you complain. You sit around and ask me what's going to happen on your returning shows like you think I write them.
My only interest is that sweet, charming, yummy Jensen Ackles. He invades my dreams every night. I love those soft lips and...
Edna: Oh good Lord, I forgot that I'm going to have to listen to you gush all over that poor boy 'til the cows come home. Good thing Supernatural is so entertaining, now if only you'd hush up while it was on. Another returning show I'm looking forward to is Fringe, that show gives me the chill bumps. And it's just confusing enough to remind you that it's from the creators of LOST.
What shows are you looking forward to watching this fall, loudmouth?
Margie: Well, I love Sons of Anarchy with those wild motorcycle men. Yum! You know I won't miss that sexy Christian Slater in The Forgotten either. He can warm my bed all winter if he likes.
Flash Forward also looks good because it reminds me of what happened in Jericho a while back. I'd best start stockpiling popcorn.
Edna: You go ahead and do that, I'll be mapping out the rest of our viewing list. A new show I really have my eye on is Glee. I watched the series premiere and it tickled my funny bone, but in a smart way. Hmm, I bet that means you won't like it, though. Come to think of it, I bet I'll be watching The Big Bang Theory on my own too, those boys on that show are way too brainy for you.
Margie: You watch what you please and I'll do the same. If you have a funny bone then I'd love to know where it is.
I wish you'd go up in a Big Bang, nitwit. I'm going to my room now.
Edna: Yeehaw, you do that sister! Then I'll have the TV all to myself so I can watch The Venture Bros. on adult swim. I know you always say that cartoons are for children and the feeble-minded, so maybe I can enjoy my show in peace without any of your sass.
Dear readers, I just wish I didn't have to wait a few weeks for all my shows to start up again, especially since my crabby sister is in her room right now. Well, such is my burden. Tell me, what shows are you folks looking forward to watching this Fall?
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Margie: Edna, I bet you don't know what today is. It's Emma M. Nutt day.
Miss Nutt was the very 1st female telephone operator, hired in Boston on September 1st, 1878. She is quoted as saying she was "very glad her 1st name was not Imma".
Edna: Ha! Well, at least she had a sense of humor. I bet it came in handy while trying to work the phones in a big city like Boston back in those days, when ALL the calls went through a switchboard.
Margie: You couldn't have worked there, dingbat. The women operators had to be single, between 17 and 26 years old, and they needed long arms to reach the switchboard.
Guess how much money they made? $7 a week. That wouldn't have bought your chocolate much less anything else.
Edna: You just can't resist trying to be a know-it-all about everything, can you? I think you're forgetting about inflation, I imagine $7 per week back then would have gotten you quite a bit.
You know, this all reminds me of my years answering phones at the salt mine here in Jericho. Not a day went by that I didn't get a compliment from perfect strangers about my sweet phone voice and impeccable manners. Such a shame that the profits fell off so sharply after I retired, I think their customers missed talking to me.
Margie: There are Nutts then there are Nuts. Need I remind you of which one you are? Lying liar.