Fall Recipes

Margie: Edna, it's getting cooler every day and that means Fall is almost here. My appetite picks up in cool weather and I've been studying on what I want to eat. I have a hankering for a Yankee Pot Roast but do you think I can find all the ingredients here in Jericho? We're not exactly Yankees.

Edna:  That's just a name, idjit.  I don't see any reason why you can't make the gol-durned thing and just call it "Jericho Pot Roast".  

This time of year, I'm craving squash.  I'm thinking of trying something like this squash soup recipe from Alton Brown. 

He may be crabby, but he does know his food.

Margie: He's no crabbier than you, sister. You just want that soup because you know squash doesn't agree with me.

Here's what I'm going to make & I do mean all of them.

Edna:  Whooee, you're going to need a lot of apples!  Before you make your grocery list, remember that I'm not going to pay for 34 pie's worth of apples.  Maybe one or two, though, especially if your lazy tushie is going to do the baking.

Margie: Edna, nobody asked you to buy a dang thing! Don't you worry about how I'm going to get all those apples. You don't pay, you don't eat.

Internet perils

Edna: Margie, look at the time! Why didn't you tell me I'd been online this long? Honestly, sometimes I think the Internet is both a blessing and a curse, and that's the truth.

Margie: Edna, that's why nothing gets done around here. I suppose you're trying to find a man. You best be careful because bad folks can get information about you from that computer.

Edna: I'm always careful online, that's another reason why the Internet can be a dangerous thing. That, and people emailing you left and right, even though you said you never wanted to hear from them again.

Margie: Edna, do I hear gossip there? Who did you tell not to email you anymore? Mr. Jones? The mailman?

I worry about young children, Edna. Where's the fun of going to the library and researching topics from books? And all these old perverts trying to get to the children. Those perverts are the worst.

Edna: They are, aren't they? People with more time than morals (or sense) should not be allowed to have an Internet connection. We should write our Congresswoman about that, she hasn't had a letter from us in at least a week.

I worry about the children too, because I fear that the Internet is raising a generation of young people to be lazy about what they read online, and they're not as prudent with their personal information as they should be. In our day, there just wasn't the chance to publish your business all over kingdom come for perfect strangers to read. Imagine, we never would have taken out an ad in the Jericho Courier telling people that our "relationship status" had changed. Well, I wouldn't have anyway, I had more decorum than some people around here.

Margie: Good idea. Let's write her tonight. No pervert should be allowed to have a computer!

I'm glad we never spread our business all over town. Look at some of these blogs we visit. Some of them have near nekkid pictures. I saw one today of a nekkid cowboy. Edna, are all perverts male?

Edna: I think you already know the answer to that, you floozy.