Monday, August 31, 2009

Thank you, fellow bloggers!

Dear readers: We have recently had the honor of several awards bestowed upon us....

First, from Sheepish Thoughts (A very belated thank you to PinkLady!): The Best Blog and A Lovely Blog awards.


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Second, many thanks go to Basically Becky for the J'adore Tien Blog award.

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And last, but certainly not least, Annie over at A Nice Place In The Sun gave us the You Cheer Me Up award. Now, we don't like to play favorites but we think we love this one the best, since we are long-time fans of I Love Lucy.

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We are always touched that our fellow bloggers enjoy visiting with us enough to give us awards, and we are so grateful to you all for your support, good wishes, and just plain genuine affection. Thank you so much!

Love, Margie and Edna

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Sunday Funnies

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Friday, August 28, 2009

Fun Friday: 'Tis the season!

Edna: Ladies and gentlemen, I tell you what...I love this time of year. Now, you might think it's because the weather gets cooler and the leaves turn those beautiful colors, but that's only part of the story. What really gets me excited about Fall is the new TV season. Oh, the anticipation of a brand new season of my favorite shows after a long, dry summer!

My sister and I have several shows on the TV that we really like, but if you've been paying attention you'll realize there's one we talk about a lot: Supernatural. My lands, what a show! The CW has been running promotional spots on their channel in anticipation of the season 5 premiere on September 10th, and below are the two newest ones. I'm sharing them with all of you fine folks so that you'll see why I'm so excited. But be forewarned, there are spoilers in these spots, so view at your own risk.



And this one just gives me goosebumps...

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Global Forgiveness Day

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Margie: Edna, today is a day for everyone to forgive somebody. I think this is a wonderful way to promote goodwill. Heaven knows we need more of that.

To get us started I forgive my ex-husbands for being idiots and for not knowing what a treasure they had in me. Who do you forgive?

Edna: Margie, forgiveness is good for the soul and good for the blood pressure, and that's the plain truth. I forgive Mortimer Richardson for leaving me standing at the altar all those years ago. If I had married him I never would have met and married my Joe, and so I guess I owe him some thanks.

But if I'm going to forgive him, I suppose I ought to stop letting the air out of his tires every Sunday in the church parking lot.

Margie: That's wonderful, Edna. I knew you'd feel better if you forgave somebody. I've decided to forgive our parents for having you. Bless their souls, they couldn't know how you'd turn out in later years.

I also forgive Joe for divorcing you and not keeping you there living with him. He has ruined my old age.

Edna: Well, I suppose that means I have to forgive you for being such a lying shrew? You know good and well that I divorced Joe because he had that wild idea of giving up all our worldly possessions and starting up his own religious "group" down in South America. I'm sorry, I can stand quirks and foibles, but I just couldn't stand for that kind of nonsense.

Margie: That Joe was a smart man, Edna. Why don't you go see if he still lives there? I'll take care of your possessions. By the way, can I have that new bag you just bought? I'll probably move into your bedroom too because it gets more sun.

Oh, leave your credit cards and I'll cut them up and I'll toss your cell phone. This is fun. Let me get a paper and pencil so I won't forget what all to do.

Edna: Margie, you'd best nip all that in the bud right now before I do something that you're going to have to forgive me for.

Margie: I can't forgive you, dingbat, if you kill me. Kiss my tushie.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Common courtesy: a dying art

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Image property of moderns_r_us

Edna: Margie, I've been noticing something more and more lately, and I just can't hold my tongue about it any longer. Where did everyone's manners go? I swan, it wasn't that long ago when it was common courtesy for men to take their hats off when dining in a restaurant. Nowadays, every Tom, Dick and Herman wears a backwards ball-cap out to dinner.

Margie: That's just rude and tacky. Edna, I think those are the same men who answer their cell phones and talk so loud that everybody within a mile knows all their business.

Edna: I just hope they don't do that in front of their mamas, but it's bad enough they do it in our earshot. And whatever happened to a gentleman standing up whenever a lady enters the room?

It makes me sad to think that the standard for good manners has gotten so lax. Time was, you could count on folks knowing how to handle themselves around other folks, but not anymore.

Margie: Edna, I think the mamas are letting these men be lax. Not only does a gentleman not stand anymore, Edna, but they almost knock you down to get in the store in front of you.

I'll tell you what could cure these bad manners- a hickory switch on the rear.

Edna: I think you're right, sister. I say we take a hickory switch along with us the next time we go out to eat and dole out a little rough justice on some folks. What do you think?

Margie: I'm all for that, sister.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Last Summer Picnic

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Margie: Edna, Fall is coming soon so we'll be stuck in the house more. I'm thinking we should go on one last picnic.

Remember when Daddy would load up the car and Mama would pack our lunch and we'd all go down to Skeeter's Creek? Let's make a plan sister.

Edna: You know, that's actually a wonderful idea! What did you have in mind to make for our picnic?

Margie: I thought I'd make potato salad and baked beans to go with some homemade BBQ shoulder. Why don't you make those nice deviled eggs and cheesecake you always make for the church suppers?

Edna: Oh, sounds lovely, I think I will. We ought to invite Cousin T along, don't you think?

Margie: If we do that, Edna, we'd best leave the special tea at home or the boy won't be able to drive us back. Maybe we'd best make extra food too. I never saw anybody who could devour food like Cousin T does. He'll eat anything.

Which means that he'll eat all your eggs and cheesecake so I won't have to.

Edna: Margie, you can bet your bottom dollar that I won't be cooking anything for this picnic if you're just going to sit and insult me. Maybe I ought to just go on a picnic by myself if you're going to be hateful.

Margie: Look at the pot calling the kettle black. I think you should picnic by yourself because you're just an old grouch.

I'll go with Cousin T and you let me know if you want to rent my car.

Edna: Oh, you'd just love it if I didn't go, wouldn't you? Well, I'm going along just to spite you. And I'll make my deviled eggs and cheesecake, but you're not getting any. How do you like them apples, you old crow?

Margie: Lord knows I'd rather eat crow as your old eggs. They cause me to backfire worse than the car does.

Edna: My lands, woman, you must be off your gol-durn meds! You're the one who suggested I make the deviled eggs in the first place, you loony.

That's it, I'm counting to ten because the doctor told me to watch my blood pressure. You'd best be out of this room before I get to ten or I won't be held responsible for what happens next.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Sunday Funnies

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Friday, August 21, 2009

Margie and Edna enter the 21st century

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Ladies and Gentlemen, we are pleased to announce that our blog is now available to view on your Kindle through amazon.com! Isn't that exciting? Now you can take our blog posts anywhere you'd take your Kindle; just imagine, no more traveling and wondering what the ladies have gotten up to while you were gone.

You can either follow the link here to purchase a month's subscription (you get a free 14-day trial first), or you can use our handy-dandy widget in the sidebar to the right.

As always, we'd be nothing without our readers, and we thank all of you for your continued enthusiasm and support.

Love, Margie and Edna

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Best Kisser

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Margie: Edna, we are going to have a pleasant evening so come in the parlor and let's have a nice cordial.

Listen to the rain on our tin roof. Isn't that nice? Let's talk.

Edna: You know it makes me nervous when you're this sweet and considerate, Margie. Just tell me who died, I can take it.

Margie: Edna, you can be so silly. Nobody died. I wanted us to discuss some happy memories.

For example, do you remember your first boyfriend? Weren't you about 7?

Edna: Hmph, that's not a very happy memory for me, considering you stole him from me. You always were into younger men, you big floozy.

Margie: Now now, sister. Let's be pleasant here. I know a memory that will be nice for you.

Who was the best kisser out of all the gentlemen you ever kissed? Tell the truth, Edna.

Edna: You'll have to pardon me, sister, it's just so unlike you to be pleasant. I'm a mite taken aback.

The best kisser out of all the gentlemen? Since there have been so few, what with me being a lady and all, it's not hard to pick one. That would have to be Stanley Richmond's grandpa, Mortimer. My stars, but that man could kiss! We had some good times up in the hayloft when we were both a whole lot younger.

Margie: Edna, you're a lying liar! No lady would have been in the hayloft with Mortimer. Besides, Daddy used to say he was going to lock you in your room if you didn't stop bringing so many boyfriends home.

You just won't let anybody have a pleasant time, Edna. You're a floozy! And, besides, you just took away my story of the best kisser I ever knew! I'll just go to bed!

Edna: See, folks? I knew she'd crack eventually.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

We Remember Elvis

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Margie: Edna, remember back in the 1970's when we went to that Elvis concert? I nearly wet my pants when he walked out on stage. I cried so hard just because my dream had always been to see him in person.

Remember how he kept winking at me?

Edna: Of course I remember that. But Margie, I said it then and I'll say it now: Elvis was not winking at you! Not only were there thousands of other people at that concert, but the poor man was blinking because sweat kept getting in his eyes. My lands, your ability to re-write history is astounding.

What I remember most is how lovely his voice sounded live. Not like today's yodelers who don't sound good live unless their voices have been filtered electronically. Oh, but that man could croon a love song!

Margie: Edna, do you ever take responsibility for your cruel actions? You've left out the fact that Elvis sent one of his Memphis Mafia over to me after the concert. Elvis invited me backstage so he was winking at me.

You're just a toad-faced jealous hussy. I don't suppose you remember what I told you later that night?

Edna: What, that you wished that I hadn't stopped you from throwing your unmentionables up on stage? I remember that, all right.

Margie: That's just part of what you did that night and I will never forgive you. I was about to go with that nice Mafia man to meet Elvis then you started screaming for a security guard.

There I stood holding my drawers and you screaming that I was a pervert who was going to attack Elvis. I'll never forgive you, hussy. You best keep watching your back. My day will come.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Old Lady Jewelry



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Margie: Edna, have you seen all these talented people making and selling jewelry? Why can't we do that and make some extra money? You could go buy the stuff, we'll make some jewelry, then we'll split the money. How about it?

Edna: Margie, if you think I'm going to bankroll the entire project and then give you half the money, you are sorely mistaken. Either that, or you've had too much special tea today.

I do admire folks who make that beautiful jewelry we see on people's blogs. I'm not sure my old hands are nimble enough any more to make anything anyone would want to buy.

Margie: We don't have to make jewelry, Edna. Maybe we could make things that would be easy on your old hands.

How about key chains? We could put our picture on one side and a nekkid man on the other. How about that? I'll go look for nekkid men pictures.
Edna: Good God A'mighty, you and your nekkid men! Do you honestly think that anyone's going to want to buy a key chain with a nekkid man on one side and two old ladies on the other? I'm not sure we want to cater to that kind of clientele.

Margie: You hurt my feelings you old fool. You just make what you want and leave me out of it.

I'm going in my room and look at my photo albums. I hope you're a happy dingbat. Hussy.

Edna: Margie, that is just like you! You have some grandiose idea but it has to be done YOUR way. Then when someone raises some reasonable objections, you pitch a mighty fit. Well fine, go ahead and sulk in your room--at least I'll have some peace and quiet today.

Folks, I tell you what, if you ever see my sister coming your way with her packed suitcases, you just shut off the lights and pretend you're not home.




Sunday, August 16, 2009

In Remembrance

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Friday, August 14, 2009

Fun Friday

Margie: Edna, see you later. I'm going to check out the neighbors' new pool.


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Margie: See why I don't tell her everything?

Got room for Margie, sweetie?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Romance Awareness Month

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Margie: Edna, do you know why August is such a hot and steamy month? Because it's Romance Awareness Month.

Lawsy me, I have romance in all my genes. I've always been a romantic. I know you're not, Edna. Who'd want to go on a moonlit picnic with you anyway? You'd bore them to tears.

Edna: Margie, you're about as romantic as a patch of poison ivy. Why, if anyone here is a romantic, it's me--just ask any gentleman in town and they'll tell you so.

Margie: Edna, I assure you that I've asked around and the gentlemen don't mention your name and romantic in the same sentence.

Once upon a time, when my beau and I were... Never mind, Edna, that's private. Maybe I should teach some classes. What do you think?

Edna: Margie, you're not qualified to teach classes on anything except on how to be a cold-hearted shrew. Leave the romance classes to someone more experienced in the area, like me. Not that a lady like myself would ever dream to discuss such things in public, but I'm just saying.

Margie: Mama, are you there? You see how Edna treats me still? I know you did the best you could but she just never listened.

Edna, ladies such as yourself don't teach romance classes. Maybe you, big lush, should teach classes on how to get rid of a hangover.

Edna: Mama, do you see how she's still a big know-it-all? As many years as you've lived, Margie, you'd think you'd be used to being wrong by now.

Margie: I do know all because people tell on you, Edna. You don't fool me or our readers. Stick a sock in it.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Cinema at the farm

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Edna: Margie, put down the special tea and go get the bug spray, we're going to a movie tonight!

Margie: Why on Earth do we need bug spray? I'm not going to a theater that has bugs in it.

Edna: Obviously you weren't paying attention earlier when the postman was here. I swan, you ignore anyone who's not falling all over you. If you'd been listening, you would have heard him say that the Richmonds have started an outdoor movie series at their farm and the first movie is tonight! It's free for the community, and they're going to show "Rear Window" on the side of their barn as soon as it gets dark. Lands, this sounds like a wonderful idea, doesn't it?

Margie: What a lovely idea! I can't wait. I can just see myself pretending to be looking for the restroom when I fall into some hunk's lap.

Let's load up on popcorn, candy bars, and special tea for me.

Edna: You'd best watch the special tea, I'm not sure Stanley Richmond will be letting you inside his farmhouse to use the facilities if you overindulge. Besides, I won't have you embarrassing me in public again, you're a sloppy drunk.

I do like the idea of doing something in the out-of-doors that's easy on the budget yet fun for the community. Plus, how often do you get to say you watched a movie in a barnyard?

Margie: You just hold on there. Barnyard? Like with horse droppings and cow patties? I'm not exactly the outdoorsy type, sister.

Edna, I don't feel so good. I best stay home because I wouldn't want anybody else to catch this bug I've got.

Edna: Whoo-eee, that's the best news I've gotten all day! See you later, sister, I'm off to the movies. Er, and feel better soon, I guess.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Why?

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Margie: Edna, you always brag about how smart you are and how you could have joined MENSA. Here's your chance to prove it. I'm going to ask you two questions. Let's see just how smart you are.

Here's the first one, nitwit. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Edna: Good Lord, Margie, why are you asking me these questions before I've even had my Geritol? Fine, if you absolutely must have an answer, then I'd say they get into those enclosed light fixtures by sheer determination alone. Or maybe they're suicidal, how the heck should I know?

Margie: Lying liar. I knew you wouldn't know. Look at this everybody- Edna lies about how she could be in MENSA. I think I'll call them and tell them you're making them look back.

Do you want one more chance to answer a question before I dub you the Eternal Nitwit?

Edna: What I want is an apology, you cabbage head. Go ahead and ask your second question, but I reserve the right to refuse to answer.

Margie: Question two for the fruit loop coming up.

Edna, why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Edna: That's an easy one, it's because it would get tangled up in the vines as he swung from tree to tree. Who's the fruit loop now, you old crow?

Margie: Lord a mercy, Edna, you're dumb as a stump. I suppose you think he went to Wal-Mart of the jungle and bought razors?

Edna: I'm not the one sitting around all day thinking up these idiot questions. Kiss my grits, you moron.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Sunday Funnies

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Margie: I have always found this to be true.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Fun Friday: John Hughes

Beth: Hello everyone, I'm Edna's alter ego. Don't worry, Margie and Edna will be back to their regular hi-jinks very soon! However, the ladies have graciously given me permission to take over the blog post today. You see, although Miss Edna is an elderly lady in her 80s, I myself am a child of the 80s. And we children of the 80s got some sad news on Thursday when we learned that Mr. John Hughes had died suddenly. So today I'm sharing one of my favorite John Hughes movies with you, The Breakfast Club.



John Hughes has my eternal gratitude for introducing me to five misfits who spent a Saturday stuck in detention in the fictional Chicago suburb of Shermer, Illinois. Thank you, Mr. Hughes, and may you rest in peace.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Edna and the tomato patch

Edna: Margie, help me into my rocker, I'm all cramped up from sleeping on the ground last night.

Margie: Help yourself dingbat. I heard the back door creak open this morning about dawn. Dare I ask why you slept on the ground?

Edna: Well, see now, that's the problem. I have no recollection of anything that happened last night after dinner until I woke up this morning out in the tomato patch. I hate to say it sister, but I'm getting too old to hold my special tea.

Margie: It's a good thing my memory is fine. You kept drinking special tea last night and telling me jokes you heard on your cruise. I finally went to bed but you told me to leave the special tea so you kept drinking and talking to yourself.

You're a plain glutton, Edna. Maybe you best switch to water.

Edna: This ought to tell you how bad I feel this morning, because I actually agree with you. Lord-a-mercy, I'm starting to think those teetotallers have the right idea! Maybe I'll switch to lemonade from now on.

Margie: Edna, I think you're very wise to do that. May I suggest Smirnoff's Tuscan Lemonade? Try that on for size.

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Edna: Sounds mighty tasty, but maybe that's a bad idea too. I can just see it now: I sit down to have a glass of your fancified lemonade after dinner, and the next thing you know I'm crank-calling the neighbors and singing Rudy Vallee tunes out in the front yard under the moonlight. I think your original idea was the right one, it's only water for me.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Top Droppers For July



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Take a coffee break

A Simple Life

Mommy's Little Corner

Split Rock Ranch

AsTheCrackerheadCrumbles

Amy Lilley Designs

Hello Kitty Gifts

Comatized

Add Yours





Monday, August 3, 2009

Animal Rescue Help Needed



Margie: I digress today due to an email I just received from a friend. I can vouch for this lady's love of animals, fine character, and compassion. I apologize for the length but wanted you to have the full story.

You'll find all the contact information at the end of this post. Thank you!



After daily caring for the rescue dogs for 7 long months -- through the bitter, bitter cold; the never-ending rain, snow, and massive pooling of water; and the extreme heat -- I was told today that I would not be allowed to adopt Joy. Other volunteers are also being told that they may not adopt the dogs they have been working with EVEN THOUGH the plea agreement clearly states the volunteers get first preference of the dogs to be adopted. I put in applications to adopt 4 of the 8 dogs I have been working with this past year. My decision has been thought through thoroughly -- everyone that knows me knows my ability to care for dogs.

Points to understand: Eddie and Love (two other rescue dogs I am wanting to adopt) cannot be evaluated or even touched by NESR yet because those dogs are still owned by Linda Kapsa and could be returned to her at the sentencing Aug 11. SO, the ONLY dogs NESR can look at right now for me to adopt are Joy and Happy. They've told me that I can take Happy -- she will not be evaluated because she is not an English Shepherd!!!!! As a matter of fact the lead trainer and head person evaluating the dogs for NESR called Happy a big, fat swollen tick.

I could go on and on about the extreme conditions in which we have had to work with the dogs, but I do not have time to write all of this out. For those who have followed this story, you know how far Joy and all of the other dogs have come under my care and the care of the other handlers. The reason I have been given for my not "being allowed to adopt Joy" -- AND WAS GIVEN VERY, VERY HARSHLY AND WITH GREAT HOSTILITY FROM THE NATIONAL ENGLISH SHEPHERD RESCUE representatives -- is that she has not progressed since January. What a bunch of bullcrap. Massive bullcrap. This is the same reason other handlers are being given also.

I've been told that Joy will be going to an experienced English Shepherd home, but when asked where that home would be I was told that it had not been determined yet. Anyone who knows and sees me with the dogs knows how attached all the dogs are to me, but most especially Joy. Her attachment to me and me alone is very strong. She is cautious around strangers, but this is an English Shepherd trait.

PLEASE if you have time, PLEASE blast these people with emails (and phone calls) with your shock over the volunteers NOT getting the choice to adopt the dogs they have been working with for 7 MONTHS -- dogs for which they have sacrificed in their lives and finances. The plea agreement clearly states the volunteers get preference to adopt the dogs. The volunteers get preference -- NOT NESR.

Thank you everyone. Your help is needed.

Penny

Email addresses:

Yellowstone County Commissioners

jostlund@co.yellowstone.mt.gov
jreno@co.yellowstone.mt.gov
bkennedy@co.yellowstone.mt.gov


Billings Gazette (newspaper)

Steve Prosinski, Editor
406-657-1289
1-800-543-2505
sprosinski@billingsgazette.com

Chris Rubich, Features Editor
406-657-1301
same 800 number as above
crubich@billingsgazette.com

Tom Tollefson, Local Government/Courts Editor
406-657-1399
same 800 number
ttollefson@billingsgazette.com

Donna Healy, Feature Writer
406-657-1292
same 800 number
dhealy@billingsgazette.com

Jan Falstad, Business/Economy
406-657-1293
same 800 number
jfalstad@billingsgazette.com

Ed Kemmick
406-657-1293
same 800 number
ekimmick@billingsgazette.com

Also:
citynews@billingsgazette.com







Sunday, August 2, 2009

Sunday Funnies

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