Happy Halloween!

Edna's Halloween-y Fun Friday

Edna: Ladies and gentlemen, I feel I really must apologize for my sister's behavior lately. I don't know what's gotten into her, what with all her talk of "Margiedales" and locking handsome men in our basement and whatnot. I swan, sometimes I think the pharmacist must be swapping out her iron pills for hormone pills! Well, in honor of the upcoming holiday and since it's MY Fun Friday, I'm sharing a little family-friendly entertainment today.

Note to all you handsome men out there: if you see my sister coming, you'd best turn tail and run the other way because she is plumb out of her floozy gourd right now.

1930 Halloween Evening

Photo courtesy Costume-Works.com

Margie:, Edna, aren't you excited? Mama and Daddy said you can go Trick or Treating with me this year. I know all the best places to go to get the best stuff. We can go to the Green house because they always give away bags of popcorn.

First, you have to put on your costume that Mama made. See? Mine is pink because I'm a princess. I think yours is red so you must be a little devil. Get dressed, sister.

Edna: Margie, you stop telling me what to do or I'm going to get Mama! And I'm not a little devil, my costume is red because I'm Little Red Riding Hood. You'd best not be mean to me while we're Trick or Treating tonight, I heard Daddy tell you last night that you need to be sweeter to me because I'm the only sister you have.

Margie: Edna, nobody likes a tattle-tale. Keep it up and you'll never have friends.

Daddy said he'll take us to Grandma's house if we're both sweet, Edna. Grandma is making us a chocolate cake. By the way, there's a big, bad wolf at Grandma's too.

Edna: There is not! Margie, do you remember last year when the Richmonds had a Halloween party out in their barn? My favorite thing was the apple bobbing, I could have done that all night. I wish they were having another party this year so I could show off my pretty costume.

Margie: Edna, didn't anybody tell you that we're going to the Richmond's after we go to Grandma's? I heard Daddy tell Mama that they were going dancing.

I know! Let's have a contest, Edna. You bob for an apple and I'll hold your head under until you get one. I like helping you because you're a baby.

Edna: MAMA! MARGIE CALLED ME A BABY AGAIN!

Margie, just for that, I'm not going to share with you any of the Tootsie Rolls I get tonight.

Margie: God, please give me a treat and swap Edna for a puppy.

I did not, Mama. Edna's lying again.

Edna: I never lie, Margie, Mama says it's a sin. Besides, I'd get in trouble for lying and I don't want to get in trouble tonight! I've got my heart set on some of Grandma's popcorn balls, so from now on I'm just going to ignore you like Mama and Daddy always tell me to.

Margie Loves Navy Day

Margie: Edna, I was just reading that today is Navy Day so look what I dug out of that old trunk of pictures. Remember these two sailors?

Edna: Margie, I'm not sure that I'm in the mood to listen to more of your escapades. That's probably just some picture you cut out of a magazine.

Margie: Edna, you're the old fool who cuts Gilles Marini pictures out of magazines then tapes them on your wall. You even have one of his face taped on your pillow.

Anyway, this is Navy Day and I always like to honor our military men. I've known so many of them over the years. Happy day to all you sailors!

If you're ever in Jericho just ask anybody to direct you to my basement. Come sit a spell and let's have tea.

National Popcorn Popping Month

Margie: Edna and I have always loved cool weather. You know the kind where it's cold enough to have the fireplace going. There's a smell to those old fireplaces that we always loved when we were girls. Our favorite times, though, were when Mama, Daddy, Edna, and I gathered around that fireplace and Daddy popped corn for us all. Mama made hot cider for everyone and we'd have a wonderful time.

Edna loved to hear Daddy tell stories about when he was a boy. She would get her funny box turned over because she couldn't believe that Daddy had once been a boy and not a Daddy.

Well, my old mind wanders a lot these days. I've said all this to say that October is National Popcorn Popping Month. That sure brings back a lot of happy memories. I think I'll go back and have more happy thoughts of the old days.

Edna, you sure are quiet. What's on your mind?

Edna: Nothing, I was just listening to you jaw away about the old days while I was munching on this popcorn I popped. If you want some, you'd best get over here and eat before it's all gone.

Sunday Funnies

Fun Friday

Margie: Lookie, lookie. Ladies, here are the first applicants wanting to be one of my Margiedales.

Come on over to the basement and have some eye candy. Has anybody seen Joanne? She's in charge of bringing her camera and a chocolate fountain.

What can you do with all these men and a chocolate fountain? Come see for yourself.

National Nut Day

Margie: Today is National Nut Day. Did you know this holiday is named for Edna? I know I've sure never seen a bigger nut than her.

Okay, so it's not really named for her but the good Lord knows how nutty she is. I could tell you stories but I won't because she'd sue me.

Anyway, let's just celebrate the day. Have some nuts or be a nut or go visit a nut. You could always make a cake or cookies with nuts and send some to me.

Give a nut to a squirrel if you like or send some nuts to Nutty Edna. Oops, here she comes.

Edna: Margie, I should have known you'd do something so predictable as to make "nut" jokes at my expense. I think you need new material, you hack.

Just for that, I'm not sharing the pecan pie I got at the bakery in honor of National Nut Day. Too bad for you, sister!

Where are all the good new TV shows??

Edna: Margie, I'm a little underwhelmed by this season's new TV shows. I haven't seen anything yet that I couldn't live without. What about you?

Margie: I sure haven't seen much for sure. Actually, the only new show I like is that FlashForward on ABC. I wish I could have a flash forward so I'd be able to see if I ever have any peace from your big mouth.

Edna: Well, guess what? I saw MY flash forward and six months from now I'm sitting on a beach in Tahiti sipping mojitos with a handsome young man, and you're nowhere in sight. How do you like them apples, sister?

I like that FlashForward show too, I suppose it's interesting enough. But I sure don't think it's the next LOST like everyone keeps saying it is. This season's crop of new shows just isn't grabbing me like my old favorites still do. I tried to give The Forgotten a try (because it has that nice young man on it that so reminds me of Deputy Jimmy), but it's not holding my attention much so far. I think it's bound for cancellation, and I won't be mailing any peanuts to anyone to save it, that's for sure.

Margie: Happy day! You'll be gone soon and I'm moving all my young men into this house. Margie's playmates. Yee haw!!

I watched a little bit of that Good Wife but it's just not for me. I do like her husband. Wonder why they didn't call it The Good Husband? No peanuts from me either.

Edna: It figures you'd like the husband, isn't he supposed to have been a philanderer? Mama always lamented over your floozy ways, you know.

There haven't been many good prospects for sit-coms this fall either, come to think of it. I tried watching that Modern Family but I found it too uncomfortable to watch. That's supposed to be a comedy? I am enjoying Glee quite a bit, which is kind of funny and quirky, but it has a soap opera-ish facet to it that I'm finding surprisingly unenjoyable.

Margie, perhaps we're just too old to fit the network demographics anymore.

Margie: Maybe I'll just stick to watching my Sons of Anarchy too. You're too old for anything, Edna.

Edna: I'm not too old to be your YOUNGER sister, you harpy.

So readers, what do you all think are the hits and duds of the Fall TV season so far?

Pumpkin Central

Margie: Edna, Halloween is fast approaching although the cold weather is already here. I keep having memories of how the kitchen smelled around Halloween when Mama would be baking. I found one of her old recipes for Spicy Pumpkin Cookies. Remember those?

Edna: Of course I do, I'm not daft! You know, I love this time of year. The good smells that come from all the baking, and it's always warm and toasty from the wood stove.

Mama's pumpkin cookies were fantastic, everyone wanted the recipe. I can almost smell them now.... Margie, why don't you whip us up a batch or two. You're not doing anything, you're just sitting there jawing away at me.

Margie: The only thing I'm going to whip is the side of your head. You've lost your mind if you think I'm baking you anything.

Here's what I need to make after dealing with you every day. Pumpkin Rum Mousse. I'd best triple the rum though.

Edna: Now, you know good and well that we haven't had rum in the house since you made that eggnog pie last Christmas, when you drank all the rum and went and flashed the neighbors during their dinner party. I think you'd best use rum extract for that recipe, sister.

Margie: And I think I may extract a few of your teeth to shush you up, sister. Dingbat!

Sunday Funnies

Edna's Fun Friday: Mon cher Gilles has returned!

Edna: Yes, I know, I've posted about Mr. Gilles Marini before when he was still a contestant on last season's Dancing With the Stars. So why bring him up now, you ask? Well, I have been mourning the loss of mon cher Gilles on the TV every week since last season ended. So, I'm pleased to tell you all that he has a guest spot on the ABC show Brothers & Sisters, starting this Sunday night! My lands, I haven't been this excited since mon cher Gilles almost won the DWTS dancing trophy.

Here's a promo clip from ABC for Sunday night's episode:


And in case you needed a reminder of Mr. Marini in action on DWTS...


Have mercy!

Retro Fashionistas

Margie: Edna, look at this picture I found of Greta Garbo. Wasn't she beautiful? Garbo and the other ladies of that era sure knew fashion. I wish we still dressed like this.

It's ridiculous how tacky the ladies' fashions are today. They let everything hang out. You know what Mama would say about that, don't you?

Edna: I surely do, she'd say that it's better to leave something to the imagination than to show all your goods in the shop window.

I agree with you about the old-fashioned clothing, the ladies sure had grace and panache back then. I had a beau who used to tell me I reminded him of Betty Grable, but I always wished I were tall and graceful like Ginger Rogers. Now there was a dame with style!

Margie: Mama was right! I always say the same thing. You best sit down, Edna, for when I say this.

You were the best seamstress I ever saw. Remember how we'd go to the movies and see a dress we liked? We'd buy the material and you'd make us the dress even though you'd only seen it once and had no pattern.

Edna: Why Margie, what a sweet thing for you to say! Maybe I'd best check to see if you have a fever, you're not feeling delirious or anything are you?

You are right about my sewing, I used to be able to whip up a fashionable outfit in no time flat. I wish my arthritis didn't slow me down these days, I could be bringing in a pretty penny on the side making couture knock-offs.

Maybe I could teach Cousin T how to sew?

Margie: Call him, Edna, because I'd love to have a new dress.

Special Tea Award

Margie: Edna, I think it's time to present our Special Tea Award to some of our special readers. I'll start. My intelligent friend, Poetic Shutterbug, not only takes nice pictures but helps me with ideas for my basement. She even suggested that I name my nekkid men the Margiedales. I'm going to ask her to take a lot of pictures then I'm going to be making me some money!

Edna: Well, I can't say I'm happy that she encouraged you in your flooziness, but I do like her blog so I won't argue. Who else should we give it to? Oh, you know, I just love that lady over at Kooky Culinary! It's amazing what she can do to make food cute, I sure hope her little one appreciates all the work she puts into those little box lunches.

Margie: I loved her hot dog shaped like an octopus. Her kids are very lucky.

Another favorite of mine is Grampy. He and I may be partners in a business deal. He's very smart and we can make a ton of money.

Edna: Margie, I'm starting to see a trend in your choices. Didn't he also encourage your floozy nonsense? That's it, I'm washing my hands of this whole nomination process. I've made my perfectly respectable award choice, you can finish this up on your own.

Margie: More proof that if Edna doesn't get her way then she shows her tushie.

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Unlike most blogging awards, there are no rules with this one. It does not need to be passed along (unless the recipient wants to), nor is it necessary to link back to us or even post it on your blog. We just want you to lift a virtual cup of special tea, think fun thoughts, and enjoy your award.

This is not a one-time-only award; we'll be giving this award again periodically in the future, since there are other people we'd like to honor for their support and good humor. So keep watching, you might see your name on the next awards list!

Old Farmers Day

Margie: Edna, today is Old Farmers Day and I always think about our grandparents who farmed. I remember those fresh vegetables from the garden. They sure tasted fine.

Remember how we'd sit under the shade tree on a hot day and eat that watermelon? Grandma would put it in the crick and it'd be so cold.

Edna: I do remember that. I also remember Mama scolding us for being unladylike after we had that seed spitting contest.

I like to see that people are having their own gardens again and are buying local produce. It all tastes so much better when it's home-grown, doesn't it?

Margie: That's the truth. Go drag out those nice apples you bought and share a few with me, stingy. I bet you got apple cider too.

Mama said it's unladylike to be a glutton and not share with others.

Edna: You know, Mama also said it's unladylike to be bossy and a bully, but that never stops you. I did get cider along with the apples when I went to the cider mill, but I was saving the cider for tonight as a surprise for you after dinner. But I guess you ruined that so go help yourself, you big baby.

Margie: I was just teasing, sister. Let's have our cider in the parlor. Cousin T stopped by and started us a fire.

All I need now is a young farmer and I'll be all set.

Edna: Sorry sister, they weren't selling any of those at the cider mill.

Sunday Funnies

Fun Friday

Margie: Have you ever wondered why I think Friday is such fun? It's all thanks to my sister. You see, Edna gets up early on Friday and walks to the beauty parlor where she snoops and learns all the gossip.

Next, Edna visits the sick so she can pick up more gossip, spread a little that she knows, and offer comfort to any gentlemen who may need it.

Finally, Edna stops at Bailey's looking for someone to buy her lunch. I doubt she's ever paid for one of her meals there. Actually, she won this award a few years ago.

Gotta run. I get to watch some good movies while she's gone.

Time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin'...

Edna: Margie, last week's episode of Supernatural got me to thinking a lot about the past and changing the future. In the show, when Dean from the present encountered his future self, he surely didn't like how he had turned out. Do you think that if Past Margie paid you a call today, she'd like how you turned out?

Margie: Edna, why do you torment me? I think it would depend on several things. She would not like my financial situation and she'd ask why I became a librarian instead of the lawyer I wanted to be.

I believe she'd love my choice of gentlemen and that I still live in Jericho and am the toast of the town.

What would Past Edna tell you?

Edna: Well, she'd give me an earful about living in Jericho. She thought I'd be growing old gracefully in France, living in the country and raising goats. She'd also be surprised that you and I even have anything to do with one another now, given how much we fought when we were younger.

She'd be glad to see that I'm still feisty after all these years, though. And I think she'd be amazed at our blog.

Margie: Well, you came close to what Past Edna would have expected. You may not be raising goats but you sure are one. I also think you'd best check the dictionary for the definition of "feisty" as that's not you.

I think our Past Margie and Edna would love our blog too. As for us living together, Edna, I could have a sister worse than you. Yes, I said it. It is possible that you could have been worse.

Edna: I guess that's as close to a compliment as I'm ever going to get from you. Past Margie was also pretty stingy with praise, so I guess you haven't changed much. I suppose I feel the same about you too, sister.

While there are some things I might have wanted to be different, I have to say that I'm pretty content with how life turned out for me. And like you said, things can always be worse--at least we've still got family, Aunt Biddy and Itty-Biddy notwithstanding.

Margie: That's true, Edna, and there's one thing about the past that I'd never want to change. Mama and Daddy were the best parents we ever could have had. I sure do miss them.

Edna: So do I, Margie. Now, as far as I'm concerned, it's never too late to change your future. So what do you say we start raising us some goats in the backyard?

TV Spin-Offs

Margie: Edna, remember when we used to love the variety of shows on TV? Nowadays, if people love a show, there is sure to be a spin-off. Just look at NCIS and all those CSI shows. I hear Criminal Minds is going to spin-off too.

Edna: Well now, sometimes spin-off shows can be a good thing. I used to love that Laverne and Shirley, and that was a spin-off from Happy Days. And what about Maude? That was a spin-off from All in the Family.

Unfortunately, it seems like the quality of the spin-off shows is not what it used to be. I think it's like when you make a clone of something: a copy is almost never going to be as good as the original.

Margie: For once, sister, you may be right. That's why I think it's time for me to have a spin-off of the basement. See, this is called Margie and Edna's and I want just a Margie one.

How do you like that? This one will be better than the original.

Edna: Pfft. Better than the original, you say? You're welcome to try, but I'm betting all you'll come up with is the blogging equivalent of Joanie Loves Chachi.

Margie: Edna, I didn't like them and I don't like you. When Margie's Nekkid Men blog opens don't even show your face over there.

Margie's Manly Men? Margie's Basement Men? I've got to go think about this.

Edna: Oh good grief, that's what you want a new blog for? To fill it up with nekkid men? Well go on ahead, then. At least that way you'll keep that smuttiness off of THIS blog.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Margie.

Margie: Edna, would you like to exchange links?

Margie: The Hero

Margie: Edna, you should be proud of your sister. I haven't told you this story before now because I don't like the spotlight and I certainly don't brag on myself.

Anderson Cooper called me today and wants me to be one of his heroes on CNN. Take that, sister.

Edna: Margie, the day you don't like the spotlight is the day I put on an ugly hat and start calling myself the Queen of England. Just what is it that you think you'll be talking about on CNN, pray tell?

Margie: Remember Diamond Dennis and Don Wan who drove Betty Lou and me home from Vegas? Well, I knew something wasn't right about them and guess what?

Deputy Jimmy arrested them as we were getting out of the car. I knew they were just looking for pretty women like me to scam so I turned them in.

Edna: I knew you'd get into some kind of trouble on that trip! So riddle me this, sister: if you knew they were trouble, why did you let them squire you around Vegas that whole time?

Margie: Say what? Oh, I understand now. I didn't want to make them suspicious, Edna, or they might have high-tailed it.

Edna: Hmm, I believe that like I believe you're the one who turned them in. Here's what I think, you didn't know a thing about any of it until Deputy Jimmy showed up to arrest those two. Knowing you, you had to save face so you concocted this ridiculous story about knowing all along and being a hero on CNN.

Margie, prevaricating is so unladylike.

Margie: Well, I'm not the one who pre-variates, loon.

Edna: That's it, I'm buying you a hearing aid battery for Christmas this year. Every time I have a conversation like this with you, it's time I won't ever get back. I am getting too ding-dang old to put up with your nonsense, sister.

Sunday Funnies

Fun Friday

National Dog Week is the 4th week of September every year. Okay, we're a little late. We didn't want to ignore the poor dogs though.

Take your dog for a walk, buy them some ice cream, give them hugs and kisses, and tell them how much they're loved. If you aren't doing this all the time then you should be. Don't forget their birthday either.

For you crafty folks here are some dog crafts you can make.

Margie Loves Vegas

Dear Edna,

Having a great time here. Glad you aren't here.

Last night Betty Lou and I took our Ziploc bags to the buffet and borrowed enough cookies and desserts to last for days. Next, we wandered around the poker tables. Edna, the gentlemen here are so friendly. They'd give us chips and point out other tables where we could go play. We'd go to the next table and the same thing would happen. Wasn't that nice?

I cashed in some chips and went to the bar. I told the bartender I'd like a nice orange drink. He made me two of them, I think, but all I know is that I came to in Elvis' lap. Well, I don't think he was really Elvis because he had so many muscles. Hmm...

Edna, I met some showgirls and they basically adopted me. They begged me to be in their show so I gave in and they did one of those extreme makeovers on me. Can you guess which showgirl I am in this picture?

Here's where I'm going tonight. I'm so excited that my bloomers are all a flutter. You should see all the dollar bills in my purse. I'll be stuffing them...well, you know. When this show is over they'll all be calling me Margie the Manhandler.

Oh, we found a ride home. Diamond Dennis and his cousin, Don Wan, offered to bring us. Here's a picture of their car so you'll recognize us when we get home.

Gotta run, Edna. Betty Lou and I are going to walk down to some of the chapels to watch some weddings. I'll get you a souvenir.

Your sister,
Margie


Edna: Good God a'mighty. Folks, all I can say is better Betty Lou than me.