Party People

Margie: Edna, did you know that some people enjoy getting together with friends during the holidays? There hasn't been any fun in this morgue since you moved in. I've got a good punch recipe that I want to share with my friends since you won't let me have a party.

Friends, you must try this Promegranate Champagne Punch. I do suggest that you double the champagne for a little extra kick.

Edna:  Who said I won't let you have a party?  You're welcome to celebrate all you want as long as you clean up after yourself.  The problem with you is that you want all the fun but you don't want to handle the mess afterwards.  You go have your party, but you can have it in the barn.  In the meantime, I'll have a party of one with some of this:  Alchemist Punch:  Hooee, that'll get the party started!

Margie: Said the pot to the kettle. You'll be on your vacation, half -wit, so I'll be partying in the house. What you don't know has never hurt you.

Edna, you drink that punch and you'll be out for days.

Edna: If I have to listen to you yammer for even one second more, then I want to be knocked out for days. And what makes you think I don't know about your parties?  Who do you think found your girdle in the pantry last week?  I don't even want to know what that was about.

Margie: Sister, you may be a fruit loop but you can sure give me a good laugh sometimes. You were always jealous of me.

Edna:  I am never jealous of anyone who isn't smart enough to keep track of their undergarments.

1930 Halloween Evening

Photo courtesy Costume-Works.com

Margie:, Edna, aren't you excited? Mama and Daddy said you can go Trick or Treating with me this year. I know all the best places to go to get the best stuff. We can go to the Green house because they always give away bags of popcorn.

First, you have to put on your costume that Mama made. See? Mine is pink because I'm a princess. I think yours is red so you must be a little devil. Get dressed, sister.

Edna: Margie, you stop telling me what to do or I'm going to get Mama! And I'm not a little devil, my costume is red because I'm Little Red Riding Hood. You'd best not be mean to me while we're Trick or Treating tonight, I heard Daddy tell you last night that you need to be sweeter to me because I'm the only sister you have.

Margie: Edna, nobody likes a tattle-tale. Keep it up and you'll never have friends.

Daddy said he'll take us to Grandma's house if we're both sweet, Edna. Grandma is making us a chocolate cake. By the way, there's a big, bad wolf at Grandma's too.

Edna: There is not! Margie, do you remember last year when the Richmonds had a Halloween party out in their barn? My favorite thing was the apple bobbing, I could have done that all night. I wish they were having another party this year so I could show off my pretty costume.

Margie: Edna, didn't anybody tell you that we're going to the Richmond's after we go to Grandma's? I heard Daddy tell Mama that they were going dancing.

I know! Let's have a contest, Edna. You bob for an apple and I'll hold your head under until you get one. I like helping you because you're a baby.

Edna: MAMA! MARGIE CALLED ME A BABY AGAIN!

Margie, just for that, I'm not going to share with you any of the Tootsie Rolls I get tonight.

Margie: God, please give me a treat and swap Edna for a puppy.

I did not, Mama. Edna's lying again.

Edna: I never lie, Margie, Mama says it's a sin. Besides, I'd get in trouble for lying and I don't want to get in trouble tonight! I've got my heart set on some of Grandma's popcorn balls, so from now on I'm just going to ignore you like Mama and Daddy always tell me to.