Monday, February 8, 2010
Margie: Edna, folks may know Valentine's Day is this month but did you know it's also Creative Romance Month?
Look here at this picture I found of Cousin T's great-grandparents. My word, is this a manly man in these short britches? Anyway, I thought we could give our readers some creative suggestions for romance. Not that you're likely to know any.
Edna: Margie, you are a crabapple and that's the God's honest truth! Making fun of Cousin T's great-grandfather's pants like that, you should be ashamed.
As for creative romance, well...my beaux never complained. Unlike yours, who ran to me for comfort every time you were mean to them. I like the idea of being creative to keep romance alive, it makes things more interesting. For example, instead of the usual box of chocolates, what about using your talents and writing your sweetie a song that you'll sing to them yourself? You don't have to be a good singer to melt their heart.
Margie: Edna, don't you be squealing any songs in this house. I seriously doubt your voice would melt any heart. You lie too.
In these economic times I'd suggest that you make a home cooked meal for your sweetie. Well, unless you're Edna and trying to kill people by poisoning.
Edna: I'm going to ignore that, you harpy.
One thing people could also do for their sweetie is to promise to do whatever chore their sweetie hates, say, for a full month. I know that I would have loved if just once, any one of my husbands offered to do the laundry for a month instead of buying me jewelry.
Margie: Edna, why does that jewelry turn your body green when you wear it? Cheap men.
Personally, I lament the loss of handwritten notes so I'd love to get a handwritten love letter. I bet lots of women would like that. Hint for you men: don't give her money and tell her to buy her own gift.
Edna: Margie, I'll agree with that last statement even if most of the rest you said is grade-A hooey. Women, and men too, like to know that their partner put some thought into their gift, even if it didn't cost very much at all. Nothing kills the romance like thinking your significant other doesn't care enough to come up with a thoughtful gift for you.
Margie: Edna, I don't know why I talk to you. You're certainly not thoughtful and it's obvious that you know nothing about true romance.
Edna: That's not what your boyfriends said.