Thursday, February 4, 2010
Edna: Margie, the winter Olympics will be starting soon. But you know, as much as I like watching some of those sports, the rest of them are just kind of...blah. It hardly seems worth the effort to turn on the television for some of those events.
Margie: I'm with you, sister. Maybe we should come up with some interesting winter sports and the Olympic folks could spice things up a bit.
Edna: Margie, it kills me to say this to you but that's a great idea. I think the Olympic committee would thank us, so go get a pencil and paper so we can write these down.
Margie: Edna, do I have Maid stamped on my forehead? You get the paper. I'm the brains of this operation.
Let me think. Sports, winter, men, spicy. Hmm...
Edna: Clearly I have to do all the work here. Margie, get your mind out of the gutter and write this down: Downhill Rocking Chair Skiing. I bet you could get some good speed going in one of those bentwood rocking chairs. Whooee, they'd best put seatbelts on those babies!
Margie: Whee! Fly me to the moon. We could grease the bottom of that chair and fly like a rocket.
What about slow skating? People our age can't do that speed skating but the slowest skater could win a medal.
Edna: I'd pay good money to see you skate your way around one of those ice rinks. I think it would perk things up a bit if you added sparkly outfits to that slow skating. That way, there'd be plenty of time for the audience to admire your outift as you skated....slowly....by.....
You know, I think there need to be more indoor winter sports. I don't fancy going outside and freezing my what-nots off. What about indoor snow-boarding? The only problem would be figuring out how to make it snow indoors.
Margie: You are so right, Edna. I need a nice outfit. I'm sure I could influence the judges in my favor.
Edna, we don't need snow. Let's use sugar. Maybe the snow boards could be made out of chocolate?
Edna: Well, now you're just being silly.
Margie: You're a nitwit too. Here's a good one that everybody will like. How about men's snow wrestling? Yippee!!
We could shred pillows and call it snow then let the men in thongs wrestle. I just think that would sell a ton of tickets.
Edna: Margie, I do believe you've veered away from winter sports and straight on to nightclub acts. I don't think we'd better send this list to the Olympic committee after all.
Margie: I think you're right. Let's make posters and sell tickets and have this in my basement. The money we make will be all mine then.