Margie Visits The Dr.

Margie: Edna, come sign this petition before I take it to Bailey's Tavern. It's time for us to get rid of this quack we've called a doctor for all these years.

I went for my check-up today and I'm here to tell you that the old fool has lost his mind. I'm getting me a young doctor.

Edna: Oh Lord, folks, she's on another one of her rampages. Margie, what did the doctor tell you this time that's got you all up-in-arms?

Margie: Edna, first he said my feet and legs were swollen a bit. He said that's because I have water retention. He said it like that's a bad thing. You know, at our age, it's good that we can hold our water and tea or we'd be wearing adult diapers.

Edna: Somehow, I don't think that's what the doctor meant, you nitwit. I don't know, it sounds to me like he knows what he's talking about. Why are you so upset with him, what else did he say?

Margie: I hate trying to talk to you, Edna. The next thing he said was that I need to limit my salt intake. That proves he's a quack.

Edna, I am not going to be a laughingstock! How can I limit salt when I live in a town with a salt mine and all these peanuts? The very idea!

Edna: Margie, I do agree that's going to be difficult. But unless you got a medical degree when I wasn't looking, you'd best listen to the man.

Besides, just who do you think is going to be laughing at you?

Margie: Edna, I'm through talking with you. You're a fruit loop. Now you sign this or I'll forge your name and you know I can.

Edna: You can kiss my grits! I'm not signing your stupid petition, you're just mad because you don't like what the doctor told you to do. And if you try and forge my name, I'll call Deputy Jimmy and have him come out and haul you back to jail. Don't think I won't!