Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Margie and Edna's Beauty Tips

Edna: Margie, I don’t know why you’re showing me these beauty tips, it’s not like I need them. You, on the other hand…

To keep your eyes from blinking when applying make-up, try keeping your mouth open. It really works!

Margie: You shouldn't have a problem with this one, Edna, since your mouth is always open and your tongue is always wagging.

Edna: Margie, if that’s not the pot calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is.

VODKA & LEMON will tone up tired skin. Dab ¼ cup Vodka and the juice from one lemon on face, neck and chest area with cotton. It is not necessary to rinse this mixture off. It will evaporate. The less rubbing, the better.

Edna: Seems like a waste of perfectly good vodka to me.

CAFFEINE is the main ingredient in those expensive cellulite creams. Your regular caffeinated coffee grounds (used from this morning) can be rubbed into those annoying cellulite areas. Since this can get a bit messy, try doing it in the bathtub or shower.

Margie: Edna, if you put coffee grounds in my bathtub I will rub your ugly face in them too.

WEIGHT LOSS TIP — take two Garlic Tablets and two Papaya Enzymes before every meal. You can lose up to 5 pounds in one week.

Edna: Are you trying to imply that I need to lose weight, you old hag?

JELL-O (cherry flavored powder) — dab a Q-tip into the powder and apply it to your lips. Let the powder sit for 5 minutes then lick it off. This will give your lips a natural red coat.

Edna: I tried this the other day, and the mailman told me I looked fresh and sweet as a daisy. He said I tasted good, too.

Margie: Edna, the mailman is a habitual liar.



auntvonna said...

You ladies are right on time with these beauty tips! Thanks! What would I ever do without you?

Anonymous said...

WOW! Thanx for these great tips, ladies! Of course, I already knew the mouth open one, because I've never been able to do my makeup with my mouth closed! ;)

Love how you can make a normally boring yet informative topic filled with humor!

You BOTH rock! :)

Margie and Edna said...

Margie here. Thank you both for dropping by. I must admit I've always been a natural beauty but Edna needs all the beauty tips she can get!

Auntvonna, we are just so happy to help you any time with any little thing.

Hawks, does your mouth ever close? Edna's doesn't. Please come back to see us soon, ladies.

terocious said...

I keep my mouth open when I'm painting. I guess this is kind of the same thing. 'Cept the make up pro'ly don't end up in your mouth.
- Cousin T

Margie and Edna said...

Edna here.

Cousin T, if you've been getting paint in your mouth on a regular basis, that would explain quite a few things... Close your mouth when you're painting from now on, dear.

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