Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Home Remedies

Edna: As Margie and Edna’s Self-Improvement week continues, Margie wanted to talk about a few home remedies that you all might find useful. Margie?

Margie: People nowadays are what Edna calls "wimps." They run to the doctor for every little thing. Edna and I use Mama's old home remedies and we never need a doctor. (We like a nice doctor though.)

Here are a few that we like:

Bruises: White vinegar removes the blues, heals the bruise. Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.

Remember this one, Edna?

Put three drops of kerosene on a teaspoon of sugar and take for three nights; cures tonsillitis/sore throat.

Wet tobacco and put on bee stings to take the sting out as well as the swelling.

Wet tea bags work well for any sort of toothaches and swelling.

Mama's favorite home remedy was this one:


Medical Disclaimer: We are not medical doctors. Although these are real home/folk remedies, we recommend if you have any serious health issues that you see a real doctor. We cannot predict what would happen to you if you ingest kerosene, even in that small amount, so we don’t recommend you try it. If you do and get sick, just remember that we told you not to do it, you idiot. And please don’t sue us. Thank you.


Janna said...

I have a bruise on my arm right now and am tempted to try the vinegar thing to see if it works.

I promise not to drink kerosene, though.

And if I do, I promise not to sue you.

terocious said...

What would that man want to sue you for making him feel better?
-Cousin T.

Margie and Edna said...

Cousin T, you need to get out of the Special Tea.

Janna, thank you for dropping by the basement.I hope that bruise goes away soon. I've never tried that vinegar except to put it on my roast. No, don't drink any kerosene. Have a cup of tea instead.


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