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Margie: Edna, I might as well live alone for all the company you are to me. You spend all your time playing that old Farmville game on Facebook. If you like farming that well, sister, I'll call Cousin T to bring you a hoe so you can make us a garden.

Edna: Margie, you bring that dictionary on over here to me, I want to show you the definition for the word "hypocrite". Who sets their alarm extra early in the morning so they can get to the computer first to check their crops? You, that's who!

I swan, folks, trying to get her away from Farmville is like trying to get her to stop looking at pictures of handsome cowboys: darn near impossible.

Margie: You always try to twist my words, Edna. I get up early to watch the news! Well, maybe I play a little bit.

If any cowboys out there want to friend me then come on over. We can feed the chickens together.

Edna: Folks, don't you friend her, friend me! I always send and return gifts, and I will fertilize your crops every day. Margie will just take your eggs and run the other direction. She'd steal your horses too, if she could.

Margie: Lying liar! You don't send me gifts and you try to steal my pumpkins too. I'll have you know that I don't steal horses!

Not unless the cowboy is attached.

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Sunday Funnies

Be Kind To Animals Week

Margie: Edna and I may not agree on much but we do believe that animals are a blessing and they need humans to help them. That's why Edna and I are proud to announce that this week is Be Kind To Animals Week.

We hope everyone is kind to animals all the time but we're also hoping this special week may bring more attention to the subject. Why not give your animal a special hug today and tell your friends and family to do the same?

We Love Jennie

Margie: Edna, you remember our friend Jennie Sword? We need to write her a note to let her know we're still thinking about her. She's such a pretty, kind young woman. I wish everybody would be as sweet as she is.

Edna: Of course I remember Jennie, she was so nice when we interviewed her a while back, remember? I must say, this is one of your better ideas, I'd love to write her a note. We should tell her how much we miss her, and how our little town of Jericho just isn't the same since she left. Where is it she's living now?

Margie: She's living in California, Edna. We should write her and ask her if she's finding any bargains in Beverly Hills. Maybe those rich folks are having hard times too.

Frankly, I'll just ask if I can borrow her credit card because I bet she'd feel bad turning down an old lady. I wonder if she's met any nice cowboys lately?

Edna: Margie, don't you dare ask that girl for her credit card! You'll shame the both of us, and she'll think you're just an uncouth old woman. Which you are, of course, but there's no need for her to know that.

I do remember that she loves horses, so maybe she does know where there are some cowboys. I imagine there must be some real ones out there in California, they can't all be movie cowboys. You know, one of the things on my list to learn before I die is riding a horse, I wonder if she'd come back here for a visit and teach me how?

Margie: I have the best idea! Let's buy a horse for her and tell her it's here then she'd have to come visit again! She's so pretty that the young men would swarm around here.

Let me see your credit card, Edna. I want you to have your riding lessons.

Edna: Oh no you don't! You stay away from my wallet. If you want her to come visit, you can just think of something that doesn't involve my credit card.

I think if we told her that she could come for a nice restful stay in our guestroom, she'd like that. We could make up some of Mama's teacakes for her, and she could have all the special tea she wanted. I know she must be tired of the rat race out there in Los Angeles, so a visit here to Jericho would be just what she needed. Margie, go get out the writing paper and let's get this note ready for sending!

Edna At Hialeah Race Track

Hello Margie! Look at this card here, those knobby knees on the flamingos remind me of yours when you wear short pants. My lands, I almost busted a gut thinking that one up. Those flamingos are at the Hialeah Race Track, which is this historic horse racing track near Miami. It’s a good thing it’s not open anymore, or I’d have lost all my money betting on some fast filly.


Speaking of fast fillies, I do hope you’re behaving yourself while I’m gone. And you stay away from the mailman, you hussy, you know he’s my beau!

Love, Edna



Margie: Here's another postcard that proves how hateful and mean Edna is to me. She just can't resist sending me her old slurs. Old witch!

I wish Edna would bust a gut. Lord knows her gut is so big that it would be like a nuclear bomb hit if it busted.

Just you wait, Edna, until you find out that the mailman has been sweet-talking me. As soon as your back was turned here he came. You're a demon, Edna.