The fish should be scared...

Margie: Sister, did you know that June is aquarium month? Let's buy us an aquarium. I love to watch fish shows on TV so it'd be nice to have our own. I don't want any big-mouthed fish because your big mouth is more than enough for me.

Edna:  Tell me this, sister.  Who's going to clean out that aquarium when it gets dirty?  This isn't some Disney movie where the fish can take care of themselves.

Margie: Edna, you're just being silly. Nobody cleans the oceans or rivers so it's obvious that the fish clean up their own living area. Unlike you.

Edna:  I'm going to call the pet store and tell them not to let you in.  With an attitude like that, we'll have an expensive tank filled with dead fish inside of a week.  Besides, how were you planning on paying for this  aquarium?  Maybe Mary Bailey will let you wait tables for tip money.

Margie: Edna, you are a true idjit. You'll be responsible for cleaning the aquarium since you'll be the one buying it! I just want to watch your pretty fish.

Edna:  Margie, it never ceases to amaze me how you can flap your gums sixty ways to Sunday and yet you never say anything intelligent.  Truly, it's one of the wonders of the world--or, at least, of Jericho.

National Pet Week

May 1st through May 7th is National Pet Week, which is intended to "promote responsible pet ownership, celebrate the human-animal bond, and promote public awareness of veterinary medicine."

Pets bring so much joy into so many lives.  If you own a pet, take a moment to hug them and pamper them, they deserve it!  If you don't own one, consider adopting a pet from a local shelter. 

For more information:

National Pet week on facebook
Official National Pet Week website, sponsored by the American Veterinary Medical Association
The Animal Rescue Site

International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

Margie: International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day is a day for the dogs. That's because there is no one else who can really appreciate the true value of a dog biscuit. They say "Every dog has his day". And, it will definitely be his day,when you give him some tasty dog biscuits.

IAMS Holiday Pet Adoption

Margie: Lots of pets need good homes so IAMS Holiday Adoption Drive is a worthy cause for you to participate in to help animals find a home.

Iams Home 4 the Holidays runs from October 1, 2010 to January 4, 2011. This year’s goal is to adopt 1.5 million pets

You can call this number for more information: 1-800-421-6456

Dog Walking Day

Image courtesy Duke University Digital Collections

Margie: Edna, today is Dog Walking Day so a lot of folks will be out walking their pets. I bet we could find some nice gentlemen to talk to at the park.

Wait! We don't have a dog. Let me call Gracie's Market and see if she has a leash that will fit you.

Edna: Margie, Cujo has a sweeter disposition than you do. Folks, let me tell you why we don't have a dog: it's because animals are good judges of character and no pet wants to live in the same house as Margie. Lucky animals.

When we go out for our evening constitutional later, I think I'll bring along some doggie biscuits for all the dogs out being walked.

Margie: Edna, you're right, only dogs would be likely to eat your biscuits.

Sunday Funnies