Monday, April 6, 2009

Itty-Biddy in jail


Margie: Edna, Aunt Pearlie called this morning. It seems Itty-Biddy got arrested. She read about the Girls Gone Wild and decided to have a party.

Itty wants to know if you'll come bail her out???

Edna: Hmph. You tell that floozy that I bailed her out once already down in Daytona Beach for those public indecency charges. I told her then it was her last chance, so you can just tell Aunt Pearlie to let Itty-Biddy rot in the hoosegow.

Margie: Edna, we'd best move. What if you make those Biddy boys mad and they come after us?

Edna: Don't you worry, Margie, those boys are still in the state pen for bank robbery, remember? We're safe as chicks in a henhouse right where we are.

My lands, but that branch of the family is trashy, aren't they? I don't like to speak ill of others, especially kin, but they sure do take the cake.

Margie: They sure are trashy, Edna, and it's all Aunt Biddy's fault. You know how Mama always called Aunt Biddy a ring-tailed tooter? It took me years to figure that one out.

Not only do they take the cake, Edna, but they'll take anything that's not nailed down!

Edna: Well now, isn't that the truth? The last time they were up to the house, my good Sunday hat, the stapler, and the remote control from the TV all went missing. And Lord-a-mercy, I don't even want to know why those boys took our eggbeater and the left shoe from your good pair of pumps.

Margie: That's a strange bunch, Edna. I'm just glad we had all the chocolate and Special tea under lock and key.

Maybe we should give all of them a thought-blocking helmet and spare the aliens a real shock.

Edna: Are you kidding? Why spare the aliens and not us? Personally, I can't think of any other bunch of people that I'd rather be abducted and taken far away to another galaxy.

You tell Aunt Pearlie that we don't want to get mixed up with that bunch of no-goodniks again. If Itty-Biddy needs bail money, she's just going to have to raise it herself. I hear you can get good money selling your plasma these days. Of course, her blood is 100 proof, but maybe they'll pay extra for that.

Margie: Edna, I'm headed for the toilet. You've got my tickle box plumb turned upside down.


Alicia aka "Fashiona" said...

OMG now I know who reversed the 4 and 5 on my scale...that Itty-Biddy heifer!!

terocious said...

Oh boy, things had been way too quiet around here. I heard Elvis refused to take parole because he thought they said Payroll and he didn't want to ruin his reputation of not having worked a day in his life!

-Cousin T.

Lidian said...

I adore the word "hoosegaw" and am so glad to see it being used in such a brilliant, funny post! :)

Pretsel Maker said...

It's wonderful to be here,
It's certainly a thrill!!

I think I really need a break, a time for myself.So, I decided to visit this place.

Kanti said...

I chuckled through the beginning, but when I got to the word "hoosegow" I just right out lost it.

My co-workers keep looking at me funny.


Webbielady said...

What is a ring-tailed tooter? You give me also a hard time figuring this out what it means.

Why these two ladies always have interesting conversations?

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