Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Edna: Margie, there's a lot of talk on the news these days about healthy eating. Do you suppose we should think about improving our diet? You tend to cook with an awful lot of lard, and I've never met a chocolate bar I didn't like. Maybe we should make some changes in what we eat.
Margie: I suppose we could try, Edna, but cooking without lard? I'm not sure I'd know how.
You've never met chocolate anything you didn't like, Edna. Remember when you ate those five Hershey bars even while Mama was telling you that you'd be sick? You were sick for two days.
Edna: Now, why do you have to bring up ancient history like that? I haven't gorged on chocolate in nigh-on 75 years, you moron. These days, I limit my chocolate eating to one bar per day, thank you very much.
You know, I've been hearing a lot about tofu, we could try that. Or maybe we could start eating alfalfa sprouts and drinking wheatgrass juice. I hear that it's very "cleansing."
Margie: Lying liar. I know better. You just let me see you with one bar a day.
Wheatgrass juice? That sounds like something horses eat. No way. I don't think I need cleansing, sister, since I take my Ex-Lax every day.
You try it first and I'll see if you survive.
Edna: On second thought, maybe we're too old to be changing our eating habits now. Perhaps we'd best leave healthy eating to the young folks. What do you think?
Margie: Amen, sister. Let's enjoy the years we have left.
Pass me a Hershey's bar.