Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Pioneer Woman


Margie: Edna! Look on this TV. Sakes alive, it's The Pioneer Woman. She has her own show on the Food Network. Well, how do you like that? You know I'm the one who discovered her blog and told you about it. You'd think that would be worth a nice meal but have you seen her calling us? No! What do you have to say, sister?

Edna:  I have to say that you're a greedy so-and-so to expect her to drop everything to come cook you a meal.  You've seen her blog, you know how busy she is with that ranch and that adorable family.  Besides, now that she has a show on the television, she has even less free time on her hands.  

But I tell you what, that country fried steak with mashed potatoes and gravy she made on her show sure looked divine.  Even better than yours, sister.  MUCH better than yours, in fact.

Margie: Goody, goody. That's what I made for dinner and I'm going to eat it all by myself. Why don't you get some crackers and water for your dinner, dear?

Edna:  God will judge you for being so stingy, sister, mark my words.

I'm going to go live with the Pioneer Woman and her family.  I bet she'd feed me if I helped her take care of those gorgeous children of hers.  They seemed so sweet and down-to-earth, their parents must be doing a good job with them.  Unlike ours did with you.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Sniff Swig Puff

Edna: I swan, sometimes I am just amazed at what you can find on YouTube. It seems like there's something for everyone, especially if you have particular tastes about what you might want to watch. Say, for example, you wanted to watch a duet between Rock Hudson and Bea Arthur singing about drugs? Well, YouTube has just the thing!

Pull up a chair, Margie, and pour us both a drink. This promises to be good!

Margie: Pause that, sister, while I go make the Mai Tai's.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Fillion Friday: Castle!

Edna:  Our readers should know by now what big Nathan/Castle fans Margie and I are.  We're so excited for the season premiere on Sept. 19th, I can't even tell you.  

I just couldn't resist poking around the interwebs for some sneak previews, and I found this one I want to share with you all.  Margie refuses to watch it, she says she wants to be surprised when she watches the first episode of the season.  I told her to grow up, there's nothing surprising in this clip if you've been watching all along, but she wouldn't listen.  Muttered some nonsense about going to talk to her new Margiedales.  Well that's just fine, I'd rather watch my Nathan in peace anyway.


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

All My Margiedales


Margie: Edna, I believe variety is the spice of life so it's time for a change around here. I'm bored with 4 of my Margiedales so I sent them packing. My stars, doesn't anybody have as much energy as I do anymore? Anyway, tell me what you think about my 4 new Margiedales: Thorsten Kaye, Jacob Young, Michael E. Knight and Vincent Irrizary. I got me some soap opera men, sister. You can look but don't touch!

Edna:  It's always the pretty faces with you, isn't it?  If we're going to have four more mouths to feed, they'd better be hard workers.  I'm not tolerating any freeloaders around here!  If you can't help put a new roof on the barn then you're of no use to me, pretty boy or not.

Margie: Edna, who cares about faces? You buy the lumber and my boys will put that roof on the barn. I'll pay them for their labor.

Edna:  Margie, aren't they too busy with their soap opera work to worry about becoming Margiedales?  I don't see how you're going to lure them here, anyway.  That sour face of yours scares away everyone.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Egads, it's a blimp!


Edna:  Margie, what would you do if I told you a blimp crashed in the back yard last night?

Margie: Edna, it's a crying shame how you try to get your picture in the paper! I suppose you used your old "I was abducted by aliens" too. Mama, I hope you're not awake to see this fool.

Edna:  There you go again, running off at the mouth before you get the whole story!  I didn't say it happened in our back yard, you idiot.  I was just asking a hypothetical question based something I saw in the news.

If I were that lady with the blimp in her yard, I'd have held on to it until the company that owned it up ponied up something good for its return.  Possession is 9/10ths of the law, and the company it belongs to makes vodka.  You don't have to be a genius to do that math.

Margie: Good Lord, sister, look up the number of that company. I'm going to call them and let them know that a blimp of theirs knocked me down last night. I need some of that vodka for my mental upset!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Fillion Friday

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Thriftshop Girls


Margie: Edna, today is National Thriftshop Day and I feel like going shopping. I must say that we learned all about thrift from Mama and the Depression. I don't understand why some people are so snotty about being frugal. Mrs. Bobo told me she doesn't buy anything unless it's expensive. What do you think about
that, sister?

Edna:  I've said it before and I'll say it again:  Mrs. Bobo is an idiot.  There is nothing wrong with being thrifty and counting your pennies.  It's how we manage to live as well as we do when others are suffering in these hard economic times.  And there's no shame in visiting a thrift store.  In fact, it's "green" since you're not buying new products.  Reduce, reuse, and recycle!

Margie: Sister, sometimes all I have are pennies. That's why I've been sending away for free samples. And, don't forget that we shop at Save-A-Lot and their prices and quality are as good as Mrs. Idiot could want.

Sister, give me your pennies and I'll be glad to recycle them.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Cocktail Pies


Margie: Edna, you get in here right now! I made two of these Mai Tai pies last night and one is missing. I made one with no liquor and one with extra liquor. Guess which one is missing, sister, and don't tell me a lie.

Edna:  Margie, I cannot tell a lie.  That pie you made was DELICIOUS.  Hic.

Margie: Thank you, sister. I surely hope the Ex-Lax I added doesn't hurt you.

Edna:  Well, now I know you're the one who's lying, you'd never ruin an alcoholic pie by adding something like Ex-Lax.  Why don't you share the recipe with our readers while I go lie down?  The room is starting to spin.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Fillion Fridays are back!

Fillion Fridays have returned due to popular demand (okay, the demands were from the two of us, but still).  We enjoyed them so much before that we don't know why we stopped doing them in the first place!

Today's Fillion Friday is more of a "Flashback Fillion Friday".  Some of you probably remember how adorable Nathan was back in the 90s when he was on "One Life to Live."  For those of you who never saw him on the show, take a look below, he was a cutie-pie for sure.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Tales From The Big Apple


Margie: Lookie here, sister. We just got a letter from our nephew, Jeb Stewart Biddy. We haven't heard from him in a coon's age. It does my heart good to see one of those Biddy boys trying to make something of himself. He's the only one who's never been in prison but that's probably because the Biddy bunch sent him off to be raised by his grandma. It is a bit worrisome, though, that he's up there in that wicked Big Apple.

Edna:  Well, he is my favorite out of Aunt Biddy's boys, and he's always amusing.  But sometimes I just do not understand what that boy is talking about.  Must be because he's so "creative" and such.

Margie: Edna, many folks have called me "creative" too. You just read his letter and I'll go get a quill and paper so we can write him back.

Dear Aunts Margie and Edna,
I hope my two favorite aunts aren’t missing their favorite nephew too badly. You two wouldn’t believe what all I’m seeing in New York City. Do you remember when old Ms. Daisy would strip naked when the mailman was coming down the road and dance for him (and everybody else) to see? Lord, it was a hoot. Things would be flying, and you would make me duck under the counter to shield my eyes. Well, that doesn’t hold a flame to what I’ve seen up out here. I can’t even tell you about it because—well, I’m too embarrassed.  It’s a sight to see. Haha. 

Crazy Patrick, the one that runs Mr. Towne’s worn-down store, told me that I would miss seeing the flatland and animals. I tell you what, Aunts Margie and Edna, he was wrong. I’ve seen horses leading carriages around all parts of the city. There’s a park as big as our town, and people take their animals to run around everywhere. I was eating in a restaurant and I would have sworn a couple of groundhogs ran over my feet.. The waitress told me it was baby mice, but I’ve seen baby mice and they sure weren’t looking like those creatures.

I’m going out in a few minutes, but I have got to tell you two about a man that I saw yesterday. I had just left a record store, and as I was rounding the corner, a man in a gray robe hopped out from behind a garbage can. He had the biggest, greenest eyes. They were about the oddest things I’d ever seen. It was like looking at two limes on on somebody’s face. Then, that man starting talking to me. He grabbed an empty soda bottle from the garbage. He started shaking like he was being touched by a spirit. Then, he raised that bottle up to my eyes and started doing a dance. He was hollering “Hoolaba, Hoolaba.” He kept going at least thirteen or fourteen times. I was just about ready to have a conversation with him until he started turning circles and conjuring spirits from the smelling bin. I took off running faster than I’ve ever ran my entire life.
Missing you both dearly,

Margie: Edna, what ever happened to Ms. Daisy? She sure was a strange bird.

Edna:  Forget about Ms. Daisy being a strange bird, I think being in the big city has warped poor Jeb's sensibilities.  That last bit sounds to me like he's been into the spirits a bit too much.  You tell him to lay off the liquor, he needs his wits about him to survive up there in New York!

We want to thank our friend, Bradley, for writing the role of Jeb. He is a smart young man who will go far one day. Not sure how far but far enough. Bradley, you're welcome to play Jeb any old time you like.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Still Loving Lucy

Edna: Margie, last Saturday would have been Lucille Ball's 100th birthday. You know, I admire that lady so much. She was a savvy businesswoman, not to mention extremely patient with that philandering Desi. 

And Margie, so help me God, if you try and tell me that you had an affair with Desi Arnaz I will snatch you bald!

Margie: Edna, there's no need for violence. Okay, I won't tell you I had an affair with Desi. I'll go next door and tell them!

Edna: Fine, Margie, you go bother them for a while and I'll share with our readers one of my favorite clips from I Love Lucy.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Chill With Margie

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