Occupy Grocery Stores

Margie: Edna, you know those Occupy Wall Street people? I thought they were probably just a bunch of hippies looking for a handout but I was wrong. I think we should start our own Occupy movement and call it Occupy Grocery Store. How do you like that? I'm sick of these greedy corporations raising prices and cutting the size of everything. They draw the big bucks while our checks never go up. I say we gather all senior citizens and put them on the front lines. How will it look for the police to haul old ladies like us to jail?

Edna:  Oh honey, I do think you might be on to something.  And I certainly have plenty to say to those greedy food companies.  They think we won't notice when they put our favorite food in smaller packages and then charge us more.  They must honestly think that we're a bunch of morons who don't notice anything farther than the end of our collective noses.  I think it's time for the American buying public to rise up and say "Heck no!" to re-packaging and higher prices, and show those corporations a thing or two. 

Should we pack a lunch?  We might be protesting for a while and I don't want to faint from hunger.

Margie: Preach on, sister. Down with greed! Up with cheap Oreos!

Sister, let's take that old cooler of Daddy's. I'll fry some chicken and you pack the white bread and sardines. Should we take something sweet? Besides me?

Edna:  Grab the cheap Oreos and let's get this thing started.  You go cook, I'm activating the church phone tree and find us some warm bodies to go with us.

Margie: Edna, be sure to call Mr. Green. He lost his wife recently so he'll be anxious to join us. Actually, why don't you ask the men's Sunday school class to go? Tell them to bring some cards.

Edna:  Oh no you don't, you hussy.  This is a protest, not an  old-fogey mixer!  If those men come along then all you floozies will lose your focus, and I won't have that.  We'd best make this a ladies-only gathering.

You'd best get to cooking, woman, so we can start protesting.  Now hop to it!

Margie: Edna, who died and told you that you were in charge of all this? Maybe I'll handle the protest and you can go Occupy Jericho jail!

Thriftshop Girls

Margie: Edna, today is National Thriftshop Day and I feel like going shopping. I must say that we learned all about thrift from Mama and the Depression. I don't understand why some people are so snotty about being frugal. Mrs. Bobo told me she doesn't buy anything unless it's expensive. What do you think about
that, sister?

Edna:  I've said it before and I'll say it again:  Mrs. Bobo is an idiot.  There is nothing wrong with being thrifty and counting your pennies.  It's how we manage to live as well as we do when others are suffering in these hard economic times.  And there's no shame in visiting a thrift store.  In fact, it's "green" since you're not buying new products.  Reduce, reuse, and recycle!

Margie: Sister, sometimes all I have are pennies. That's why I've been sending away for free samples. And, don't forget that we shop at Save-A-Lot and their prices and quality are as good as Mrs. Idiot could want.

Sister, give me your pennies and I'll be glad to recycle them.