Margie: Edna, I think our readers would be interested in knowing what we'd like to get for Christmas. And don't start with that world peace and everything else you always say. Just say what you would like to have for yourself.
I'll start. I want this. Look.
Edna: Well, if you think I'm going to say I want something like that ridiculous multi-million dollar brassiere, then you are sorely mistaken. Margie, I can't believe you would want something like that; pardon me for saying so, but you can't fill it up nearly as well as that model does.
My needs are much simpler, give me a pound box of nuts and chews from See's Candies and I'd be a happy woman.
Margie: Edna, you're too dumb. Don't you know that toilet tissue can help fill any bra?
Oh, I want some of that See's too plus about 5 cases of Pepsi and a gift certificate to the grocery store. I'd also like some books so I can read all winter.
Edna: My lands, if you get all the Pepsi you won't be able to sit still long enough to read any of those books.
You know what I really want? I want a good, solid pair of ear plugs so I don't have to listen to you griping and complaining about how I never help you clean the house. Margie, that complaint might hold more water if I didn't have dishpan hands and housemaid's knee, you lying liar.
Margie: Edna, you wouldn't know the truth if it smacked you. I'm the one who needs ear plugs. You always say your dishpan hands are caused by your compulsive hand washing and those knobby knees are caused by arthritis.
I'd sure have a lovely Christmas if some fool would come adopt you.
Edna: Lord-a-mercy folks! If any of you know a sugar daddy, send them my way, maybe they'll adopt me. Either that, or they could buy Margie her gazillion-dollar undergarment and take her far far away from me.