Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Edna: Margie, I've been hearing a lot about the end of the world now that we've gotten to 2012. I have to say, I don't know what all the fuss is about. I've been ready to meet my maker for years, but maybe other people haven't been as well-prepared.
Do you really think the world will end on December 21, 2012?
Margie: Edna, I certainly hope not. I look forward to Christmas and nobody better cheat me out of it. Besides, I do so look forward to getting my new manly men calendar for the next year.
Edna: Good Lord woman, are nekkid men all you ever think about? You'd better hope the world doesn't end this year because I just do not know how you'd be able to face Mama and Daddy in the afterlife. On the other hand, you probably aren't going where they are so I guess it's a moot point.
Even though I'm spiritually prepared, I am not nearly ready to leave this earth in December because there is still too much I want to do. Maybe we'd better make a to-do list to prepare for the Apocalypse, what do you think?
Margie: Edna, you go on ahead without me. I'll do whatever you leave undone here.
Get the paper so we can make our list. I'm putting chocolate first because nobody can ever have too much chocolate.
Edna: Pfft, think again. I for one do not want this world to end before I hear you say you're sorry for stealing my date to the junior prom. I think you'd better focus on making some amends, missy, or you'll definitely be going to straight to you-know-where.
I'd also like to learn something new before I die. I was thinking snowboarding, but my old bones aren't what they used to be. Maybe I could finally learn how to play the banjo, I know how much you hate it.
Margie: Edna, I'm not sorry for anything and I wish I'd stolen your husband on your wedding day! You're going you-know-where in a handbasket.
Sister, snowboarding sounds lovely. You should do it. On the other hand, if you learn to play the banjo then I can sing as you play!
Edna: Then I think I'd better learn some new drink recipes, because I will surely have to be drunk to sit and listen to you sing.
You know what? I'm starting to think it's a little silly to believe that the world is going to end in 11 months, so I'm just going to live this year as I see fit and let the chips fall where they may. What do you say, sister?
Margie: I say that calls for an elderberry cordial. I'll meet you in the parlor!