Talking Turkeys

Margie: Edna, I'm as mad as an old wet hen! I went to Gracie's Market this morning to buy the ingredients for my Green Bean Casserole. I never saw such high prices in all my life. I took Gracie aside and told her she needs to lower her prices. She wasn't very nice and asked what would happen if she didn't. I told her she'd be sorry because you would not be happy if Thanksgiving rolled around and you didn't get your favorite casserole.

Edna:  But Margie, I thought you were going to Paris for Thanksgiving this year?  What happened, did the government finally put you on the no-fly list?

Margie: No, nitwit, I decided to stay home and roast an old turkey that's lived here far too long to suit me!

Edna:  Try as you might, I won't let you ruin my Thanksgiving.  Why, I'll even make you your favorite dessert, pecan pie!  That ought to sweeten you up.  I know how much you love your pecans, and we can only afford them during the holidays.

Sister, since I'm making this pie for you, why don't you give me the money for the pecans?  They're about $10 for a shelled bag.  Go get your coin purse, I'll wait.

Margie: I'm not paying when you claim you're making the pie for me. Mrs. Smith makes a better pecan pie than you do anyway. Why don't you try to sweeten up and let's have one Thanksgiving when you're not so dang crabby?

Edna:  You first, sister.

Margie: I'm going out to eat and you can sit home all alone.

Edna:  Don't let the door hit you on the way out!

Margie: Edna, kiss my crabby Thanksgiving grits!