Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Edna: Since we're coming up on New Year's Day, we'd best get to cooking Margie. You know Mama always said that there were some foods you should eat on January 1st to give you good luck. Remember how she used to make that big pot of black-eyed peas?
Margie: I do remember, Edna. Mama would put that hog jowl in that pot then we'd have onions with them when they were done.
I recall you never would eat the hog jowl. No wonder you never had much luck.
Edna: Margie, I don't see how hog jowls are lucky; they sure weren't lucky for the poor hog.
Another lucky New Year's food I've always wondered about is cabbage, which is supposed to be a sign of prosperity. Cabbage was never lucky for me, because it surely doesn't agree with me.
Margie: Cabbage doesn't agree with me either, Edna. I've eaten it in the past but I'm sure not prosperous in a financial way.
I do enjoy my greens though. Greens are supposed to be a symbol for cash but nobody ever told me how many to eat. Do you know?
Edna: Eat them all, Margie, I can't stand greens.
You know, one food that is supposed to be unlucky on New Year's is any kind of fowl, like chicken. That's a shame, because I sure do have a hankering for some Kentucky Fried.
Margie: Edna, are you sure about that? The Colonel never told me that when we were dating!
I sure could eat some of those mashed potatoes and gravy about now. I believe they'd make me feel lucky .
Edna: Well, you'd best head on into town and pick some up then. Don't forget the biscuits.
Margie: Kiss my grits, Edna. I'm calling Cousin T.
Edna: You know, one of these days that boy is going to get tired of running errands for us. I hope it's not before he brings back our chicken dinners, though.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Margie: Well, I swan. Look here, Edna. Here's an article about commodity foods. That sure does bring back memories. It makes me hungry too.
Do you remember Daddy taking Grandma to pick up her food every month? She'd get that good cheese and you and I would see who could eat the most. She'd get rice and beans and nonfat dry milk too.
Edna, the program is still going but I bet the food isn't as good as it used to be. If things keep going like they are we may all be back to cooking over the fireplace. Maybe I should run for President?
Edna: Margie, Lord help us all if you should run for President. You'd fill your cabinet with handsome men who had more looks than brains, and then where would our country be?
I do remember Grandma getting her government food, especially the cheese and the real butter. She used to say that it was one way that the government took care of its citizens. And you know, that free food got a bad reputation over the years, but it was always quality food and you can't beat that.
Margie: A cabinet full of men? You're just saying that to distract me, Edna.
Where was I ? Oh, that's true for sure. The government used to take care of its citizens and now the citizens take care of our government.
Can we buy a churn, Edna ? I love real butter.
Edna: I think we'd better buy ourselves both a churn and a milking cow if you want real butter, because it's darn tootin' that the government won't handing it out any time soon.
Margie: And a nice gentleman to do the churning and milk the cow. I'll advertise tomorrow.
Edna: Just make sure he's young. And muscular.
Margie: That goes without saying, Edna.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Margie: What a hectic week it's been. Not only has there been shopping and cooking but how about all this snow and ice? I think we all deserve a break.
Edna has gone to town to try to exchange all the gifts she got for cash. She's so ungrateful.
Anyway, while Edna is gone and I have some peace I thought you all might want to escape with me and enjoy something relaxing.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Margie: Everything makes you ill-humored. That reminds me. I got you a present.
Edna: Oh Margie, you did? It's a good thing that I got one for you, too.
Margie: I had to wrap it in a page from the Sears catalog. I picked the men's underwear page just for you.
Edna: Margie, you know me too well. I hope you like your gift, I didn't have anything to wrap it in but this old piece of muslin from my hope chest.
Margie: Hope chest? Remember when we used to open our presents after dinner? You'd put everything in that hope chest.
Edna: That's right; I used to put them there with all of my special things. Margie, do you remember the year that Mama and Daddy gave us those matching velvet dresses? We looked so nice going to church that year.
Margie: Well, I'm surprised the church was still standing after you went inside.
Edna: Margie, you take that back. I was only a little girl and besides, I hadn't met any of your husbands yet.
Margie: Hush up or no present you Fruit Loop.
Edna: Margie, where's your Christmas spirit? Your sense of goodwill towards others?
Margie: I have goodwill towards others. Just not towards you.
Edna: Margie, you know as well as I do that family is all we have left. You should cherish me, you old bat. Do you remember that year that Santa left you coal in your stocking? I bet that wasn't your favorite Christmas present, was it?
Margie: You got switches. My favorite present was the year Daddy gave me that puppy. I named her Daisy. Remember?
Edna: I do remember Daisy, she piddled all over my nice patent leather shoes, and she chewed up my new hat at Easter time. You taught her to do that, didn't you?
Margie: I did.
Edna: I knew it!
Margie: And it wasn't you who wet your bed.
Edna: I never thought I did, you old meanie. Here's my present for you, I know it's not much, but it's all I could do this year, what with the economy being the way it is. I crocheted you a cozy for your hot water bottle. It's even your favorite color, pink. It's not jewelry, but it will keep you warm on these cold Kansas nights.
Margie: Thank you, Edna. I bought you this necklace with an angel on it. It's to remind you of Supernatural, your favorite show.
Edna: Thank you Margie, that was very sweet of you. Do you have a Christmas wish?
Margie: I do. I wish for peace and an end to our country's economic hardships.
Edna: You know what Margie? That's my wish, too. Merry Christmas, sister.
Margie: Merry Christmas, sister. Goodnight.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Margie: Edna, our tree sure looks skimpy this year.
Edna: Margie, I think it looks just lovely.
Margie: Well, I never saw so many nuts on a tree. And look at that corn.
Edna: There's one nut in this room that isn't on the tree, and I'm looking at her. I think it's a pretty tree: the glitter on the peanuts was a nice touch.
Do you remember the nice Christmases we had when we were girls?
Margie: Yes. Mama always made her Molasses cake. She knew it was my favorite.
Edna: That's not why she made it, you selfish thing. She made it because she knew it was the best cake she made, and she knew that it put Mrs. Richmond's cake to shame every year at the Christmas bazaar.
Margie: Mama said Mrs. Richmond made her cakes from leather batter.
Edna: I know she did, and she was right. Mrs. Richmond was a lovely woman, but she couldn't bake a decent cake to save her life.
Margie: I can just see the sideboard lined up with Mama's turnips and beet pickles. What do you remember?
Edna: I remember how she used to make spiced apple dumplings, I sure do miss those. I never could make them the way Mama did. I also remember Daddy stuffing his face on all of Mama's good cooking.
Margie: Edna, remember when Daddy told you not to make unpleasant sounds at the table?
Edna: I do remember, and I also remember how you were the one making the unpleasant sounds, and blaming it on me. You always did love to get me in trouble.
Margie: Edna, I was the one who put salt instead of sugar in Daddy's coffee.
Edna: I knew it! I couldn't sit down for a week after I got punished for that. Do you remember how Mama used to remind us about our table manners?
Margie: Yes. Mama always told us to be sweet tempered. That wasn't you.
Edna: That wasn't you, either. You used to pick your teeth at the table, and oh how Daddy would yell!
Margie: My Daddy never yelled you old shrew.
Edna: I remember what I remember, and you can't tell me different. I also remember how much Mama loved having good food prepared for all the friends and neighbors who would stop by the house. Do you remember that, Margie?
Margie: I do remember all our visitors. Mama said she invited the Greens because she wasn't going there and have to drink Mrs. Green's muddy coffee.
Edna: Well, not everyone had the magic touch with food like Mama did. Do you remember how she used to say that " Ill-prepared food provokes ill-humor" so everything had to be just right.
Margie: She sure did. She was right too. That's why we're good cooks today.
Edna: Well, I know I’m a good cook. Everything you make tastes like vinegar. That must be your ill-humor coming through.
Part II tomorrow.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Edna: Folks, I dearly love this time of year. Everyone is so festive and nice, and there are all kinds of holiday treats just lurking around. A good friend of mine, Miss TRoss, made this video a couple years ago in honor of her favorite TV con man. (He just happens to be mine, too.) I hope you all enjoy this little piece of holiday cheer!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Edna: Margie, look here at this recipe I got from a friend of mine. Eggnog pie! My lands, have you ever heard of such a thing?
Margie: I've never heard of that, Edna. My personal opinion is that it would be better if we replaced that rum extract with about a pint of good rum.
Edna: I knew you were going to say that. You probably don't remember the last time you tried to cook something that way, considering you drank all the rum and didn't leave any for the recipe. I let you sleep on the kitchen floor that night.
I think I'm going to try and make this for Christmas. We'll have to send Cousin T into town for the ingredients.
Margie: Edna, you're so mean to your elders.
If you're sending Cousin T to the store then you best have him pick up a larger bottle of rum. It'll warm up my old bones.
Edna: Ha! Elder is right.
I'll have Cousin T pick you up some rum, you old lush, but you'd best leave me a little bit for the pie.
Margie: Edna, you can ruin a pie better than anybody I know.
Edna: Then you don't have to eat any, fine by me.
1 pre-made graham cracker crust
1 4-¾ ounce box instant vanilla pudding mix
2 cups good eggnog
1/3 cup milk
splash rum extract (You can substitute 1/4 cup of rum for the rum extract, if desired)
Mix pudding, eggnog, milk and extract until thick. (Mixture will be very thick.) Then, pour into the shell and let sit in the fridge at least a day before serving.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Margie: Folks, it's that time of the year again. You know what I mean. Yes, time to give those fruitcakes as gifts. Trust me when I say nobody wants them. Do yourself a favor and waste your money on something else.
People sure have made fun of poor old fruitcakes over the years. You know what I do like about fruitcake? If it wasn't for the fruitcake then we wouldn't have that old saying about somebody being "as nutty as a fruitcake."
Hey Edna, what do you think about fruitcake?
Edna: Oh Margie, you left yourself wide open on that one, but I'm going to take the high road and behave with some dignity. I must say, I'm not a big fan of fruitcake. But it is indeed a time-honored holiday tradition. You know, Mama had a recipe for fruitcake, it was for the kind that got soaked in rum for a month. Whoo boy, that would sure brighten up your holidays!
Margie: Get off your high horse, Edna. You left your dignity in San Francisco. Didn't think I knew about that did you ?
I could use some brightening up so I might just make Mama's fruitcake. It ought to be ready by New Year's Eve for my party.
Edna: You'd better serve that thing with black coffee and designate some drivers, because just one slice will make you see pink elephants.
Margie: Are we going to the circus? I love elephants, Edna.
Edna: Save some of that rum for the fruitcake, Margie.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Edna: Margie, look what's on TV tonight, it's that movie On the Town. My lands, how those actors can dance and sing! I used to have such a soft spot for that gutsy Betty Garrett. Remember her?
Margie: Edna, is she the one you always tried to imitate? I know you can't carry a tune in a bucket.
Edna: I can sing better than you can, you harpy. And she ended up with Frank Sinatra in that movie, as you'll recall. I can think of worse people to imitate.
As I was saying, I just loved her so much in everything I ever saw her in. Do you remember when she was on Laverne and Shirley as Mrs. Babish the landlord? It was so nice to see her on TV every week, that's for sure.
Margie: Edna, that Frank was a smooth one. There's a man who knew how to sing and dress.
Oh, I never missed that Laverne and Shirley. They sort of reminded me of us. Mrs. Babish was a good role.
Edna: That was a good role for her, you're right. You know, I didn't remember this until we started talking about her, but she and her husband were both blacklisted during the McCarthy hearings. Her husband never really got good acting work again after that, although she went on to do a lot of TV and stage work, bless her heart.
Did you know she's still alive, Margie? She got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame back in 2003, which she definitely deserved. And I guess she directs plays and wrote an autobiography. I'm glad she's still around, it seems like there are so few celebrities left from Hollywood's golden age.
Margie: She's still alive? I'd sure love to meet her. You're right about the golden age. Men were gentlemen and ladies were ladies.
I'm going to the library and get her book.
Edna: She's most definitely still alive, and still acting too. Look at what I found on her imdb.com profile: she's in a movie! They're still working on it, but it also has that nice Jim Beaver in it. Anything that has Bobby from Supernatural and Mrs. Babish in it is bound to be entertaining.
Maybe we should write her and ask for an autograph.
Margie: Edna, you get the pen and paper and I'll make us some Special Tea.
Edna: Sounds like a plan, sister.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Margie: No, I'm not talking about bells or telephones when I refer to a ding-a-ling. That's because this holiday refers to wackos, lunatics, and nitwits. I cannot call any names here but I expect we all know at least one ding-a-ling.
So, get wild and crazy today and have some fun. Blame your behavior on the holiday. Be sure to watch this video and see some real ding-a-lings.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Well, it's that time of year again. I know it's been 70-odd years since you got a letter from me, but I had to write after I read the letter my sister sent you this year. I will not have her lording it over me when you bring her what she wants while she gives me the fake Christmas stocking she made full of sticks and coal, pretending it's from you. (By the way, she did that to me when we were young back in 1932; trust me, she's no angel.)
I'm not going to waste your time asking for lavish gifts; I'm an old lady and I don't need much at this stage in my life. I'll ask for the usual meaningful things, like peace, health and happiness for my friends and family. (Yes, even for my crabby old sister). I do have a few frivolous requests, though, so please bear with me.
Santa dear, I would truly love it if you would give me a fifth and sixth season of Supernatural. Yes, I know that the Nielsen ratings are beyond even your reach, but if you could put in a good word with the CW, I'd really appreciate it.
I find that my circulation isn't what it used to be, so I'd appreciate it if you brought me a new blanket so I can keep warm during the Kansas winters. I've done the work for you already and picked out this one.
Even though a lady doesn't talk about her physical complaints, I need to share a little secret with you Santa: I have bunions. I think it's from all those years of wearing fashionable shoes--my feet looked beautiful then, but oh am I paying for it now! I'd like a comfortable (yet stylish) pair of sneakers like these.
If I had a pair of shoes like that, I think I could walk for miles and miles without needing to rest my tootsies.
Finally Santa, you know what a trial my sister is. (And let me just say, you dodged a bullet when she turned down your marriage proposal. Take it from me, she is a royal pain to live with, and that's the God's honest truth.) It would make my life infinitely easier if you brought her a new hearing aid. The one she has doesn't work half the time, then she gets mad because she says I mumble. I'd also like some ear plugs, for those times when she just won't shut up. Since she can't hear herself, she talks pretty loudly, and she pretty much talks all the time which is driving me batty. And lastly, I would love a new laptop computer. A very nice neighbor gave us one to share last year, but my sister has had life-long difficulty with the concept of sharing, and so she hogs the laptop all the time. The only time she lets me use it is when she wants something from me (like to help her to look up nekkid men pictures, which I refuse to do). The rest of the time, I have to wait until she's asleep to use it, like now.
So please, Santa, do an old lady a favor this year and bring me what's on my list. I promise to leave out milk and cookies for you if you do. And if you don't...well, let's just say that I'll be mailing my sister to the North Pole come Dec. 26th. I don't think you want that, do you?
Yours truly, Edna
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Edna: Margie, I am plumb fed up, and for once it doesn't have anything to do with you.
Margie: In that case, Edna, tell me all about it. I'm all ears.
Edna: Thank you, Margie. I swan, I'm so upset about this, I think I might need a cup of special tea. Maybe two.
Those dang fool networks are at it again, they're canceling my favorite shows! First ABC decided that they weren't going to order any more episodes of Pushing Daisies (and we all know what that means). Then, NBC decided to get in on the act and they canceled My Own Worst Enemy. What's going to go next? Chuck? Fringe? Heaven forbid, Supernatural??
Margie, it's getting to the point that I don't even want to watch new shows any more. What's the point? I find something I like, and then the networks cancel it. It's all about the ratings and their advertisers, TV executives sure don't care about their real customers: the viewers.
Margie: I need special tea too because I agree with you and that's scary.
I mainly watch cable now and you should too. Cancel Supernatural? Edna, I'd make their life a living Hades. I'd put a voodoo curse on those idiots.
Maybe we should just rent some of those men movies. You know the ones.
Edna: Margie, you never cease to amaze me. And I don't mean that in a good way.
I think we'd better start looking up voodoo curses, because I have a feeling things on TV are going to get worse before they get better.
Margie: I'm with you, sister. How does The Margie and Edna Network sound?
Edna: Sounds good to me!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Edna: Margie, I can't believe it, but this is our 200th post. Did you think we'd last this long?
Margie: I surely didn't, Edna. It's only because our nice readers took an interest in two grumpy old ladies that we've made it this far. I want to thank all of them for visiting us. They bring me so much enjoyment every day.
Edna: Me too, Margie. It's most definitely because of our readers that we've lasted as bloggers this long. We've got a lot to say, but we bicker so much that I think having readers has forced us to be on our best behavior. Or better behavior, anyway.
So thank you, dear readers, for sticking with us for 200 posts! Hopefully we won't kill each other before post #300 rolls around.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
"A Date Which Will Live in Infamy" --President Franklin D. Roosevelt
Friday, December 5, 2008
Edna: Since the Christmas season has started, I've naturally started thinking about holiday movies. For a very long time, my favorite movie was It's a Wonderful Life. Now, I think that had more to do with my sweeping and grand affection for Jimmy Stewart rather than this being a truly heart-warming movie. Because let's face it, ladies and gentlemen, scratch the surface of that movie and you find all manner of depressing things. Suicidal thoughts, economic crisis, skullduggery, stinginess of soul, and a multitude of broken dreams, to name a few. I don't care that George Bailey discovers at the end that his life really is "wonderful." The fact still remains that the awful Mr. Potter goes unpunished for his foul deeds, and poor George not only can't hear out of one ear, but he never got to travel the world and build things like he wanted to. Quite frankly, every time I watch it and get to the part where Mary is hiding in the hydrangea bushes after the high school dance, I turn the blasted movie off because it's all downhill from there. Who needs that kind of depressing movie during the holidays?
Given the above complaints, it might surprise you all to learn that my favorite holiday movie is one that is sarcastic and starts out with a distinct lack of holiday cheer: Scrooged, with Bill Murray. Like It's a Wonderful Life, Scrooged also has as its focus a troubled young man, and it most certainly has its melancholy moments. But the beauty of Bill Murray's Frank Cross is that he knows he's past redemption, and he doesn't care. So it's mighty refreshing when he finds love and happiness at the end, because he didn't even think he was looking for it. Plus, what's not to love about Carol Kane as the surprisingly sadistic Ghost of Christmas Present? Now this is my kind of holiday movie!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Margie here. I'm sorry we haven't spoken since 1947 but I've felt sure you never got over me turning down your marriage proposal. I hope you understand that I would never have defied my parents and they had many concerns about me marrying you.
First, Daddy said a gentleman would have a proper vehicle in which to come calling on a lady. A sleigh is not one.
Two, Mama said a gentleman does not court a lady without changing his clothes on occasion. She hated your red suit.
Third, you know I told you that I could never live with a bunch of elves who hammered and banged all night for 365 days a year.
I'm hoping that eases your mind as I do need to ask your help this Christmas. My finances are tight in our current economy so I'm asking you to deliver some gifts for me. Here's my list:
Please bring Cousin T a new hat to wear to church. I think he'd look quite dapper in red.
Please bring my sister, Edna, a year's supply of her medicine. She's never gotten over those headaches you caused her to have from all that "Ho, Ho, Ho" stuff.
Finally, all I want is this:
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Margie: Edna, today is National Fritters Day. My goodness, that makes me think about all those fritters Mama used to make.
Remember how Mama had to make one plate of fritters just for Daddy? He sure could put away a load of those things.
Edna: You could too, as I recall. Still can, you glutton. I suppose I shouldn't point fingers, I do enjoy a crispy apple fritter with my morning tea from time to time. We should make more fritters, why don't we?
Margie: Good question, Edna. I don't make them very often because I can never decide what kind to make. I do love apple fritters but I love corn fritters too.
Talking about fritters has made me hungry. Maybe I should go make some of both kinds?
Edna: Sounds like a good idea, sister. But you'd better get your welding mask out of the garage, you know how that oil spatters. I'll give Cousin T a call and have him bring over a fire extinguisher.
Margie: Make that two, Edna.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Once again, we have had the great good fortune to be given several awards from some wonderful bloggers. We are just tickled to know that you all enjoy coming and visiting our blog.
Jodi from Jodi's Journey gave us the Lemonade Award. (Gosh, that's a cute award!)
We were given the Butterfly Award from both Rebecca at Cat Lovers Site and Alicia at Fashiona: Musings of a Stylish Girl.
April at My Life as a Mother and Single Parent gave us the Rock Star Award. (We think you rock too, dear.)
And last, but certainly not least, Julie at Cool Mom Guide gifted us with the Aloha Award.
We thank you all from the bottom of our hearts!