Margie the Meanie

Edna: Margie, you've been especially crabby and mean lately, so I bought you this book. It's called "Anger Management for Dummies," and I think you should read it carefully. Hopefully it will help you be a little nicer to me.

Margie: How thoughtful! I'll have to read it later because I'm in the middle of another good book right now.

It's called, "How To Live With A Dummy." Very interesting.

Edna: You see, Margie? That right there, that's exactly what I was talking about! My book is a real book and I was just trying to be helpful, whereas you made up a book title to be hateful towards me. Mama and Daddy would be so disappointed in you....

Margie: Edna, if you weren't so concerned about yourself all the time then you wouldn't think everything is about you. You are not worth wasting my time by making things up about you.

If Mama and Daddy were here I'm sure they'd call the Repo man and have you moved on down the road.

Edna: You know, I have had it up to here with your bullying! Dr. Phil says you have to confront a bully, and that's exactly what I'm doing right this very second. Margie, I just don't understand how you can have so much fun being so mean to people, especially your closest kin. But I tell you what, sister: I won't stand for it any more!

Margie: Edna, you've been having these tantrums since you were 2 years old. I'll go get you a cup of hot cocoa because that always calms you down. Would you prefer it in a cup or in your baby bottle?

Edna: I'd prefer it down at Bailey's Tavern, which is exactly where I'm going so I don't have to sit here and listen to you anymore. If you say you're sorry, I might bring you home some pretzels.

Margie: Don't forget your curfew, sister.

Edna: Don't forget to kiss my grits.

Mud Pies

Margie: Edna, I was just reading about how children are so obese these days. Folks talk about diets and eating healthy and I'd like to shake them because there's a simple solution.

In our day we ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. Why?

Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

Edna: That's certainly true. We didn't have Gameboys, iPods and Playstations to keep us busy and sedentary inside the house. Besides, if we'd tried to stay in the house all day, Mama would have given us a swat for being underfoot and sent us right outside.

But you know, those were also safer times, too. We could play by ourselves all over the neighborhood, and Mama and Daddy never had to worry about someone snatching us away or doing awful things to us. Times have certainly changed, sister.

Margie: You are so right. We could even walk to the store by ourselves. Nobody had a cell phone or computer so we had to walk to see our friends.

Edna, I think what's saddest of all is that kids today don't make mud pies.

Edna: You're right, that is pretty sad. Although I suppose that means that their sisters have never made them EAT a mud pie, either.

Sunday Funnies

Fun Friday

Margie: Here are some of my favorite male stars from old TV shows.
Recognize them?

Chad Everett: Dr. Joe Gannon
Medical Center

Michael Landon: Little Joe
Bonanza

Chuck Connors: Lucas McCain
The Rifleman

Tony Dow: Wally Cleaver
Leave It To Beaver

National Railroad Month

Photo courtesy Model Trains

Margie: Edna, did you know that November is National Model Railroad Month? I bet Cousin T feels like celebrating. That boy sure loves a train.

Edna, did I ever tell you about my time in the caboose? Oh, never mind, you'll just call me a floozy. Do you like trains?

Edna: Oh, I love trains! There's nothing like the sound of a train whistle--do they even have whistles any more? Toot toot!

Margie, maybe we should buy Cousin T a model train engine for his collection. He has quite a setup out in his tool shed. We could get him an engineer's cap, too.

Margie: Edna, have you been in the Special tea again? Go in your room and toot.

That's a great idea. He'd love the cap and we could have his name put on it.

Edna: All aboard!

King Tut Day

Courtesy of touregypt.net

Margie: I am proud to celebrate King Tut Day today although it actually falls on the 4th. This day is to recognize the date of the discovery of King Tutankhamen's Tomb.

I was a librarian most of my life so I know all about King Tut. Maybe Edna dated him once? If you'd like to know more then I suggest you visit your local library for books on Egyptian history.

Edna, did you ever study King Tut in school? I don't think you cared much about history. You were more interested in your hair and nails.

Edna: Oh, please. Margie, the only reason you know about this holiday is because I told you about it, so stop acting like such a know-it-all. Besides, you're flat-out lying to these folks: I know good and well that everything you know about King Tut you learned from that Steve Martin song.

Just you remember, Margie, God punishes liars.

Jack-o-Lantern Recycling

Edna: Margie, I know you're a big believer in being helpful and teaching new things to our readers, so I think you're going to like today's blog post. I'm sure most of our readers have left-over jack-o-lanterns just sitting around, and they must be wondering what to do with them. What do you say we give them a few suggestions?

Margie: Edna, you know me so well. I think that's a wonderful idea. There are many ways to recycle those pumpkins. One way is to beat it up with a hammer and use it as a facial mask. Not only does it soften your skin but all that good fiber goes straight to...

Well, what's your idea?

Edna: Margie, that's excellent! I think since recycling is so popular right now, everyone will surely want to hear what we have to say about this.

I was thinking that since the pumpkins are already hollowed out, why not use them as receptacles for things? You could fill them with bird seed and hang them in the trees for all the little birdies. Or, for the do-it-yourselfers, I think they'd make handy storage containers for loose screws and nails. Well, as long as you plug up the eyes and mouth....

Margie: Edna, that's fantastic! The birds would surely love that.

Cousin T usually makes me a nice cap and handbag out of his pumpkin. They work well until they start to rot then I get some odd looks from folks.

Edna, I wonder if we could freeze a pumpkin for next year? We do have to be frugal.

Edna: I suppose we could, but I don't know what it would look like next year when it thaws.

Margie, do you have a picture of yourself in your pumpkin cap and handbag? I'm sure our readers would love to see it.

Margie: Edna, you know I do. This is from last year when I also had the cute dress. Actually, I gave away autographed copies of this picture for Halloween.

Picture property of cookie_dough33

Margie: You know, Edna, let's think about how to use our leftover Thanksgiving turkey.

Edna: Sounds good Margie. I've already got an idea for a charming set of ribcage windchimes...