Edna: Margie, you've been especially crabby and mean lately, so I bought you this book. It's called "Anger Management for Dummies," and I think you should read it carefully. Hopefully it will help you be a little nicer to me.
Margie: How thoughtful! I'll have to read it later because I'm in the middle of another good book right now.
It's called, "How To Live With A Dummy." Very interesting.
Edna: You see, Margie? That right there, that's exactly what I was talking about! My book is a real book and I was just trying to be helpful, whereas you made up a book title to be hateful towards me. Mama and Daddy would be so disappointed in you....
Margie: Edna, if you weren't so concerned about yourself all the time then you wouldn't think everything is about you. You are not worth wasting my time by making things up about you.
If Mama and Daddy were here I'm sure they'd call the Repo man and have you moved on down the road.
Edna: You know, I have had it up to here with your bullying! Dr. Phil says you have to confront a bully, and that's exactly what I'm doing right this very second. Margie, I just don't understand how you can have so much fun being so mean to people, especially your closest kin. But I tell you what, sister: I won't stand for it any more!
Margie: Edna, you've been having these tantrums since you were 2 years old. I'll go get you a cup of hot cocoa because that always calms you down. Would you prefer it in a cup or in your baby bottle?
Edna: I'd prefer it down at Bailey's Tavern, which is exactly where I'm going so I don't have to sit here and listen to you anymore. If you say you're sorry, I might bring you home some pretzels.
Margie: Don't forget your curfew, sister.
Edna: Don't forget to kiss my grits.
5 comments:
Oh, is Bailey's Tavern in my neighborhood? I might like to go there before I head back to San Francisco on Wed evening! I've actually had some fun times in between looking after my mom. She keeps asking me to relocate to Columbus, GA but, it is just a little too redneck for me. It's a good thing I escaped to the big city right after nursing school - it is nice for a visit but I wouldn't want to live here ( again ). Being born here was enough! I'm afraid that Southern drawl will have returned = and I'll be saying things like "kiss my grits"...I'd much rather eat them and PLEASE, no sugar and raisins on them!
Interesting book! I remember there was once these dummies book were so popular and they came up with so many different titles.
Hope things quiet down after the hot chocolate, add some peppermint schnapps.
Oh my! I burst myself laughing at this little tiff. Great books you both have. Thanks for the chuckle :)
Perhaps if you missed your curfew she'd worry that something bad has happened to you and when you did get home she'd be so glad that she'd be nice to you for a minute or two.
can't hurt
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