Itty-Biddy: Tornado Chaser

Margie: Edna Alert!! Saved by a phone call. Cousin T and I get to live another day.

Yes, it's true. Old Edna called from the road. You should have heard her trying to get in my good graces. Seems they were almost home when Itty-Biddy saw a tornado and decided to chase it. Edna thinks they're now somewhere in Wisconsin.

The Biddy's are so mad at Edna that they said to tell me not to make up the guest room for them as they won't be staying. In fact, Itty said they'll just be tossing Edna out of the Biddy bus as they drive by the house.

I wonder if Cousin T could put a trampoline out there for Edna to land on? I'm going back to the basement.

Edna Does Hollywood

Dear Sister,

Did you know that there’s a Hollywood here in Florida, too? But people just look at me funny when I ask them which way to the movie studios. People are ruder here than they are back in Kansas, that’s for sure. Anyway, this postcard is of Hollywood Boulevard, which has this big circle right in the middle of it. We went round and round and round that thing on the Biddy Bus before we could get off of it. I like to fell over once we got home, I was that dizzy.

Shut up Margie, I can hear you saying something snide right now!

Love, Edna



Margie: Lord a mercy! I knew Edna would go down there and show her ignorance and I was right. I hope she doesn't tell them she's from Jericho because they'll think we're all hillbillies.

If Edna thinks she was dizzy from going in circles then wait until she finds out that I borrowed her new dress today and wore it for the mailman.

Edna goes on vacation

Edna: Margie, do you remember that letter from Aunt Biddy that I got a couple weeks ago?

Margie: Edna, I am not interested in any old letter from Biddy. You know Daddy was ashamed to say she was his sister. She is a hooligan.

Edna: You're just saying that because you know she never did like you. It's just as well, really. I gave her a call, and she invited me down to Florida to visit her. You know she lives in Miami Beach now. She told me to tell you that you're not invited.

Margie: Edna, if you go see that crazy Biddy then don't you think you'll be coming back here to live. I'll not have it! Do you hear me? This is the end of the line.

The very idea! Where's my Special Tea? Go on, Edna. Good riddance I say. Don't let the door hit you on your way out!

Edna: Calm down, Margie, you're going to bust a blood vessel with all that shouting! Now, you know you wouldn't have any fun down in Florida anyway, you always complain about the bugs and the heat. And just you try and keep me from coming home again; maybe I'll have so much fun in Florida I won't want to come back.

Aunt Biddy told me she'd send her youngest girl to come get me and drive me down to Miami Beach on the Biddy bus. You remember her girl, Itty-Biddy, don't you?

Itty-Biddy

The Biddy Bus

Margie: Holy Smokes! Lawsy mercy. Itty is a scary sight, Edna. If that's the kind of company you want to keep then you go right ahead. You're taking your life in your hands if you get in that Biddy bus!

Mark my words, Edna, no good can come from this trip. Well, unless you decide to stay. You best look out for Biddy's boys too. Hoodlums.

Edna: Margie, you'd better get ready for me to be gone, Itty-Biddy will be here tomorrow and I'm going to be on that Biddy Bus when it leaves town. Oh, I'm going to have such fun down in Florida. You behave while I'm gone, you hear?

Margie: If something happens to me while you're gone, Edna, try not to feel guilty. Goodbye Edna.


*photo courtesy of Photobucket