Fun Friday

Margie: So this is Fun Friday? Well, I didn't have much fun today. Would you like to know why? Yes, it's partly because Edna is back. No day is fun with her always in a bad mood.

First, Mrs. Pastor took me to get my hair done. That part was fun. I then asked her if she'd mind taking me by the grocery store. She's a sweet lady so she didn't mind at all.

I had almost finished shopping when I remembered I needed some prune juice. As I was about to grab a bottle, who walked by but the most handsome young man you ever saw? I happened to get behind him and we both ended up in the produce section. He appeared to be looking at me so I winked at him. He started to stare so I winked more. I figured the beauty shop must have really done a good job on my hair!

Suddenly, he approached me. Oh, I smiled my best smile and batted my lashes. Would you believe he said, "Excuse me, but do you know you seem to have something wrong with your eye?" How is that for stupid? He must have lived a sheltered life.

Grocery Shopping

Margie: It's been so cold and snowy that I haven't been to the grocery store in almost two weeks. I decided to brave the cold today so I asked Cousin T to drive me to Publix. There are just a few problems with grocery shopping these days.

First, everything costs too much. I love my orange juice but all I hear is that the price is going to jump due to the cold in Florida. Is it my fault that the cold hit down there? Why should I pay more?

Two, things don't taste good like they did when I was young. Edna and I used to love Dolly Madison Banana Flips when we were girls. The last one I bought had artificial banana so it tasted like manure.

Finally, I don't like to cook anymore but it's more expensive to eat out of cans and boxes. Well, I'd really like a plate of Mama's cooking.

I guess I understand now why old folks talk about the good old days. That was when food tasted good.

Dollar General

Margie: Edna, I'm glad to see that our Dollar General store has enlarged their grocery section. I can usually get more there for my money. How about you ?

Edna: If I wanted groceries, I'd go down to Gracie Leigh's. Nothing's changed around her store in nigh on 30 years.

Margie: Lord a mercy, Edna, you're just stuck in the past.

Edna: I do dislike change. I'm going to write a letter.

Margie: Who cares if you write one, nitwit? You're nobody's boss.

Edna: I like it when things are plain and simple, why do companies always have to make "improvements" that aren't really improvements at all?

Margie: I wish somebody would improve your foul temper. You act just you did when you had PMS.

Edna: Kiss my grits, Margie.

Margie and Edna: Skyrocketing Prices

Margie: Edna, you cheap skate, you owe me $14 for this stuff you wanted from the supermarket. I have never seen such prices in my life! I can remember when a Coke only cost a nickel. This Jack Daniels cough syrup was $40. What are folks like us supposed to do?

Edna: Maybe you should take some of our grocery money and go get an eye exam, because that is surely not cough syrup you bought. Although, I suppose it would cure what ails you.

But I know what you mean about the cost of groceries and such. My lands, have you seen how much it costs just to buy milk these days? In some cases it's cheaper to buy a gallon of gasoline, and that's not saying much.

Margie: Edna, if you want milk then you need to buy a cow. Heaven knows I surely couldn't buy any ice cream. You may have to cut back on all those Depends you use too.

I'm going to write Mr. Bushy a letter and tell him a thing or two about what I think. Let him buy his own groceries and gas and see how he likes it.

Edna: Margie! I don't wear Depends and you know it! This is just like you, derailing a perfectly good conversation by insulting me.

As for your letter to the president, it's a good idea, but I think you'd better clear out the basement before you do anything. You might get a visit from the Secret Service, and you don't want them finding your den of iniquity down there, do you?

Margie: Edna, you do have a piece of your brain intact. You're exactly right about that Secret Service. I'm going to sneak into the Green's house and use their computer so nothing can be traced back to me.

Sit down,Edna, and let's write up some of our ideas to send him. I'll sign your name on the letter too.