Friday, March 30, 2012

Who do they think they're kidding?

Edna:  My lands, just when I think people can't get any dumber, they go and prove me wrong.  Just take a look at this diamond ring, Margie.  Isn't that the ugliest thing you ever saw in your life?  Well, aside from when you looked in the mirror this morning that is.  Hee hee.

The world's first "all-diamond" ring.  Looks like a Cracker Jack prize to us.

Margie: Edna, that really is ugly. It looks like that cheap jewelry you wear that turns your skin green. When I think about you and jewelry I think gaudy, cheap, and trashy. You make my head hurt.

Edna:  It should come as no surprise to you that the feeling's mutual, you harpy.  I was thinking that ring looked just like something you could get out of a gumball machine.  In fact, I bet we have a couple in the junk drawer.  How about we put them on and go swanning around at the VFW?  Maybe some of the old boys will think we're rich now and offer marriage proposals.

Margie: I love those rare occasions, sister, when your brain actually works. Let me grab my sandals.

Edna:  Good God, woman, you'd best stick with your closed-toed pumps.  We don't want the gents running away after they get a gander at your gnarled feet.  Freshen up that lipstick while you're at it, it's bleeding into your lip wrinkles again.

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