National Nutrition Month

 

Margie: I see where March is National Nutrition Month. I'd like to know why, sister, nutrition is connected to eating right when we know how to eat right and that doesn't mean lettuce, yogurt, coo-coos, or humm-whos. I eat like mama taught us and that's why I'm still alive and kicking. Most food is nasty these days. Give me back my trans fat! Fry my taters in lard! Make my tea with a lot of sugar! Edna, I've made myself hungry and thirsty. Let's go to Aldi's and save some money!

Edna:  Good God a-mighty, woman!  You know as well as I do that if you eat like that and you're still healthy, it's only because you have good genes.  Most people need to be really careful about their food choices. What about Great-Uncle Walter who ate pig's feet for every meal and was dead of a heart attack at 39?  Sometimes I think people go overboard with what's good nutrition and what's not, but that doesn't mean you should just give up.

You go make that shopping list for Aldi.  You may not want any lettuce but I do, so be sure that we get some of that tasty artisan lettuce they have.  I never in my life thought I'd be eating purple lettuce, but it sure is tasty!  Especially with a little bleu cheese dressing.

Margie: Poor Uncle Walter. Remember how he loved those pickled eggs?

I do love that lettuce and they have strawberries on sale too. We could make a Strawberry Shortcake. You could make us some chili too but leave the beans out if you're planning to watch that movie with me tonight!

I'm sure glad Aldi lets us afford good food.

Edna:  If I'm making the chili then it's going to have lots of beans in it.  The doctor said you need to increase your fiber intake, you know.

I love that Aldi store, I'm so glad Mrs. Pastor told Cousin T about it.  There is no shame in being frugal, sister; you'd do well to apply that concept to the rest of your life.  I'm not paying for those new shoes you bought online last week, you know.

Margie: Fine, sister, then I'll provide the music for the movie.

People don't know how Aldi can save them money. Their store brand is better than some name brands and I'm sick of corporate greed.

Fine. I'll wear your shoes.

Edna:  You can wear my shoes if you do all the shopping for our healthy food for all of National Nutrition month.  Deal?

Margie: I don't know, sister. Do I have to pay for the food?

Edna:  Of course, idjit.