Margie and Edna make up

Margie: Edna, I want to come home. I'm scared in this basement. Cousin T went home because he said you'd get that old strop after him if he didn't.

Edna: Oh good Lord, I should have known that's where you'd be hiding. You big sissy, come on upstairs. As for Cousin T, well...he's right to be scared, although I do appreciate the mighty fine workmanship in my new bedroom. Even if I didn't ask for a renovation.

Margie: Edna, I've learned my lesson. No more locking men in this old basement. Well, not unless I'm with them anyway.

Edna: I'd say you've only learned half your lesson, but I suppose beggars can't be choosers. Why don't you come on up and we can set a spell out on the porch and have an elderberry cordial.

Margie: Edna, that's a lovely idea. You won't poison mine, will you?

Edna: Oh, for heaven's sake, you're so paranoid! There's no poison, I promise--I may not always like you but you are my sister. Let's wipe the slate clean and start all over now that I'm back. What do you say?

Margie: Edna, does that mean you'll call Deputy Jimmy & take back what you said? I guess we can start over if you'll quit scaring Cousin T. He means well.

Edna: I know the poor boy means well, it's not his fault that once he gets into the special tea he loses all sense of reason. I'll bake him a cake to apologize for scaring him.

As for Deputy Jimmy, I'll have a talk with him too and see what I can do. But you are officially on warning. No more rifling through my belongings like they were yours anymore, you hear me? I'll not stand for it.

Margie: Edna, you're acting a bit strange. What really happened in Florida with those Biddys? You know I can take care of them if they did something to you.

Okay, Edna, I won't bother your things anymore. You know that special tea just makes me confused.

Edna: I’m going to overlook the fact that you’re saying it’s strange that I’m acting nice. Nothing happened with the Biddys, besides them getting on my nerves, and I thank you for offering to “take care of them” for me.

As for the special tea, well…everything in moderation, just like Mama used to say.

Margie: Edna, we need to be clear. You just don't seem yourself. I think those Biddy's unnerved you more than you're willing to admit. I'd like to shoot those Biddy teeth right out of Itty's head.

Oh honey, I moderate my special tea by the gallon.

Edna: Margie, let's just put it this way: some things happened in Florida that no one would believe, least of all you. I don't know how much more I can say without it affecting the outcome of the criminal trial. Dangit Margie, now I've said too much, are you happy??

Margie: Edna, I shall say no more. When you're ready to talk about it I'll be glad to listen. There are things in life that are best kept to oneself. Wouldn't you agree?

Edna: I surely do agree, and I’m glad you see it that way. Now, let’s go have that elderberry cordial and you can help me decide what kind of cake to bake for Cousin T.

Margie and Edna: The Reunion

Margie: Edna, do not try to find me. I am in hiding. I know you're in a foul mood because of the Biddys but you aren't going to take it out on me.

Didn't I tell you not to go? Your old head is hard as a rock. I'm not putting up with any foolishness so you better calm down or pick up your bags and move.

You old hussy.

Edna: Don't you start with me, old woman, I'm in no mood for your nonsense. And if I'm crabby, it has nothing to do with the Biddys--it's because of all the stories I'm hearing about how you behaved while I was gone. Shameful, just shameful! And to drag poor Cousin T into your shenanigans, you ought to be hanging your head for corrupting a fine young man like that.

Don't you worry, I won't be trying to find you any time soon.

Margie: You're just mad because I went out with Pierre in his Roller Royce car. The mailman said he likes me best too. He even gave me a compliment on your pretty dress that I borrowed.

Edna: Margie, I could care less about "Pierre," if that is indeed his real name. I heard all about your exploits with him, and all I will say about that is if he's French, I'll eat my hat. And would you just listen to yourself? The only way you got my beau was to go out with him wearing my dress. Doesn't that tell you something?

How many times do I have to tell you to keep your hands off my belongings? I already filed a police report with Deputy Jimmy down at the station about what you did to my bedroom, so if you know what's good for you, you'll stay away for a long time. There's a warrant out for you, you harpy, so you'd better run far and fast.

Margie: Edna, you're a sour grape! Pierre is his name and all I know is that your clothes look better on me. My figure puts yours to shame.

I'm glad Deputy Jimmy is coming because I have something for him. Do you understand somebody hacked into your hard drive? That's what Mr. Hawkins called it. Anyway, I won't be in jail because of those pictures. You'd better think this over, you washed up biddy.

Edna: Oh, I see how it is. When I wanted to use the computer, you said it was yours and that Mr. Hawkins just gave it to you to use. But as soon as trouble comes a-callin' it's my computer? Well, you listen up and listen good: I'm not going to the pokey just because you couldn't stay away from those beefcake pictures. You're on your own, sister.

Margie: Edna, hear this! Kiss my grits!