Monday, June 7, 2010

In which Margie mistakenly thinks she is Blanche


Margie: Edna, I've been watching the Golden Girls all day on my TV. That Blanche is so much like me. We're both true Southern Belles and we both have to knock the men off us. Men are just attracted to sweet things like us but you couldn't possibly understand that.

Edna: You know, it's true that you and Blanche were both hussies, but I think she was a lot nicer than you are. You just go back to watching the Golden Girls and leave me alone, you bully.

Margie: Edna, Mama always said jealousy is very unbecoming and she was right. Those other girls were always jealous of Blanche just like you are of me. It's not my fault that you didn't get a pretty face and trim figure.

Edna: You know what else Mama was right about? The fact that you do not have a kind bone in your entire body. Blanche may have had a sharp tongue, but at least you knew she cared about people. The only thing you care about is your special tea and your stupid Margiedales.

And this isn't jealousy talking, this is a lifetime of experience being your much younger sister. You know how Blanche found herself some new roommates? She put up an ad at the supermarket. Maybe you ought to try that, sister.

Margie: Edna, you'll pay for mistreating your sick sister. I may need to call my male nurse to come listen to my heart.

You go on to the supermarket and answer one of those ads. Pack up your things and move as soon as possible.

Edna: Pfft, no one's mistreating you, you big baby. You're the one who came out swinging with your insults, I'm just pointing out facts. You'd best watch your step; being a bully isn't very heart healthy.


Poetic Shutterbug said...

Now girls, there is way too much meanness going around here. Edna, your sis is sick so you need to be nice and Margie with all those Margiedales can't you spare just a couple for your Sister? If Blanche had more than one, she would share :D

Margie and Edna said...

Edna: Miss Poetic Shutterbug, that is certainly easy to say when you've never lived with my sister! Believe me, I've tried to be kind to her. (Especially after her latest health scare...heavens, I'm not a monster!) And Lord knows I have tried to turn the other cheek, but she makes it extremely difficult to be nice to her sometimes.

And I do not want any of her Margiedales, I know where they've been.

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