Fun Friday

Margie: Have you ever wondered why I think Friday is such fun? It's all thanks to my sister. You see, Edna gets up early on Friday and walks to the beauty parlor where she snoops and learns all the gossip.

Next, Edna visits the sick so she can pick up more gossip, spread a little that she knows, and offer comfort to any gentlemen who may need it.

Finally, Edna stops at Bailey's looking for someone to buy her lunch. I doubt she's ever paid for one of her meals there. Actually, she won this award a few years ago.

Gotta run. I get to watch some good movies while she's gone.

Time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin'...

Edna: Margie, last week's episode of Supernatural got me to thinking a lot about the past and changing the future. In the show, when Dean from the present encountered his future self, he surely didn't like how he had turned out. Do you think that if Past Margie paid you a call today, she'd like how you turned out?

Margie: Edna, why do you torment me? I think it would depend on several things. She would not like my financial situation and she'd ask why I became a librarian instead of the lawyer I wanted to be.

I believe she'd love my choice of gentlemen and that I still live in Jericho and am the toast of the town.

What would Past Edna tell you?

Edna: Well, she'd give me an earful about living in Jericho. She thought I'd be growing old gracefully in France, living in the country and raising goats. She'd also be surprised that you and I even have anything to do with one another now, given how much we fought when we were younger.

She'd be glad to see that I'm still feisty after all these years, though. And I think she'd be amazed at our blog.

Margie: Well, you came close to what Past Edna would have expected. You may not be raising goats but you sure are one. I also think you'd best check the dictionary for the definition of "feisty" as that's not you.

I think our Past Margie and Edna would love our blog too. As for us living together, Edna, I could have a sister worse than you. Yes, I said it. It is possible that you could have been worse.

Edna: I guess that's as close to a compliment as I'm ever going to get from you. Past Margie was also pretty stingy with praise, so I guess you haven't changed much. I suppose I feel the same about you too, sister.

While there are some things I might have wanted to be different, I have to say that I'm pretty content with how life turned out for me. And like you said, things can always be worse--at least we've still got family, Aunt Biddy and Itty-Biddy notwithstanding.

Margie: That's true, Edna, and there's one thing about the past that I'd never want to change. Mama and Daddy were the best parents we ever could have had. I sure do miss them.

Edna: So do I, Margie. Now, as far as I'm concerned, it's never too late to change your future. So what do you say we start raising us some goats in the backyard?

TV Spin-Offs

Margie: Edna, remember when we used to love the variety of shows on TV? Nowadays, if people love a show, there is sure to be a spin-off. Just look at NCIS and all those CSI shows. I hear Criminal Minds is going to spin-off too.

Edna: Well now, sometimes spin-off shows can be a good thing. I used to love that Laverne and Shirley, and that was a spin-off from Happy Days. And what about Maude? That was a spin-off from All in the Family.

Unfortunately, it seems like the quality of the spin-off shows is not what it used to be. I think it's like when you make a clone of something: a copy is almost never going to be as good as the original.

Margie: For once, sister, you may be right. That's why I think it's time for me to have a spin-off of the basement. See, this is called Margie and Edna's and I want just a Margie one.

How do you like that? This one will be better than the original.

Edna: Pfft. Better than the original, you say? You're welcome to try, but I'm betting all you'll come up with is the blogging equivalent of Joanie Loves Chachi.

Margie: Edna, I didn't like them and I don't like you. When Margie's Nekkid Men blog opens don't even show your face over there.

Margie's Manly Men? Margie's Basement Men? I've got to go think about this.

Edna: Oh good grief, that's what you want a new blog for? To fill it up with nekkid men? Well go on ahead, then. At least that way you'll keep that smuttiness off of THIS blog.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Margie.

Margie: Edna, would you like to exchange links?

Margie: The Hero

Margie: Edna, you should be proud of your sister. I haven't told you this story before now because I don't like the spotlight and I certainly don't brag on myself.

Anderson Cooper called me today and wants me to be one of his heroes on CNN. Take that, sister.

Edna: Margie, the day you don't like the spotlight is the day I put on an ugly hat and start calling myself the Queen of England. Just what is it that you think you'll be talking about on CNN, pray tell?

Margie: Remember Diamond Dennis and Don Wan who drove Betty Lou and me home from Vegas? Well, I knew something wasn't right about them and guess what?

Deputy Jimmy arrested them as we were getting out of the car. I knew they were just looking for pretty women like me to scam so I turned them in.

Edna: I knew you'd get into some kind of trouble on that trip! So riddle me this, sister: if you knew they were trouble, why did you let them squire you around Vegas that whole time?

Margie: Say what? Oh, I understand now. I didn't want to make them suspicious, Edna, or they might have high-tailed it.

Edna: Hmm, I believe that like I believe you're the one who turned them in. Here's what I think, you didn't know a thing about any of it until Deputy Jimmy showed up to arrest those two. Knowing you, you had to save face so you concocted this ridiculous story about knowing all along and being a hero on CNN.

Margie, prevaricating is so unladylike.

Margie: Well, I'm not the one who pre-variates, loon.

Edna: That's it, I'm buying you a hearing aid battery for Christmas this year. Every time I have a conversation like this with you, it's time I won't ever get back. I am getting too ding-dang old to put up with your nonsense, sister.

Sunday Funnies

Fun Friday

National Dog Week is the 4th week of September every year. Okay, we're a little late. We didn't want to ignore the poor dogs though.

Take your dog for a walk, buy them some ice cream, give them hugs and kisses, and tell them how much they're loved. If you aren't doing this all the time then you should be. Don't forget their birthday either.

For you crafty folks here are some dog crafts you can make.

Margie Loves Vegas

Dear Edna,

Having a great time here. Glad you aren't here.

Last night Betty Lou and I took our Ziploc bags to the buffet and borrowed enough cookies and desserts to last for days. Next, we wandered around the poker tables. Edna, the gentlemen here are so friendly. They'd give us chips and point out other tables where we could go play. We'd go to the next table and the same thing would happen. Wasn't that nice?

I cashed in some chips and went to the bar. I told the bartender I'd like a nice orange drink. He made me two of them, I think, but all I know is that I came to in Elvis' lap. Well, I don't think he was really Elvis because he had so many muscles. Hmm...

Edna, I met some showgirls and they basically adopted me. They begged me to be in their show so I gave in and they did one of those extreme makeovers on me. Can you guess which showgirl I am in this picture?

Here's where I'm going tonight. I'm so excited that my bloomers are all a flutter. You should see all the dollar bills in my purse. I'll be stuffing them...well, you know. When this show is over they'll all be calling me Margie the Manhandler.

Oh, we found a ride home. Diamond Dennis and his cousin, Don Wan, offered to bring us. Here's a picture of their car so you'll recognize us when we get home.

Gotta run, Edna. Betty Lou and I are going to walk down to some of the chapels to watch some weddings. I'll get you a souvenir.

Your sister,
Margie


Edna: Good God a'mighty. Folks, all I can say is better Betty Lou than me.