Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal...
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Friday, June 17, 2011
Fun Friday
Monday, January 3, 2011
January Theme
Margie: What a wonderful beginning to the New Year it is! My crazy sister, Edna, is gone on what she calls a vacation. I call it lollygagging. Mama wouldn't like such foolishness because she believed in keeping busy. She said the good Lord gave us Sunday to rest and that was all we needed.
Anyway, Edna is gone and I'm in charge of this blog and MY house so here's how it's going to be. I'm declaring this 1940's month. You heard me. Those were the happiest years of mine and Edna's lives and I want to share why with you. We'll be talking about a wide range of topics like that stinky perfume Edna wore and how she painted her face to look like a floozy. I might even play you some music. I wish I had one of those Kodak's what makes moving pictures and I'd get Cousin T to make a picture of me singing. You all would love it.
Well, I've got to go make sure everything is in place in Edna's room. She likes it when I do that. I'll be talking to you all real soon.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Etiquette
Edna: Margie, I was up in the attic and I found this old etiquette book of Mama's. I think there are some passages in here that our readers might find useful. Let me blow the dust off and give it a look-see.
Here's one for you, Margie! "Flirtation: The coquette should remember that, with every successive flirtation, one charm after another disappears, like the petals from a fading rose, until all the deliciousness of a fresh and pure character is lost." You'd better pay attention, you old hussy.
Margie: Edna, you lie. Not only have you never understood the art of flirting, but your character was lost when you turned 16.
Edna: We’re not going to get into a contest of who has the better character, because you know I’d win, you reprobate. Listen to this one: "Etiquette of the Street: A gentleman should always offer his arm to a lady in the evening. In the day this is only in order in case of the pavement being slippery, there being a crowd, or the lady being old or needing support. If there are two ladies, he should offer his arm to one, and let the other walk beside her."
Margie: So that's why all the gentlemen offer me their arm and you walk beside us. Interesting.
Edna: Margie, I only walk beside you because I don’t want to even touch the man that would offer you his arm. They usually have hygiene issues.
Oh, this one is my favorite: "How to Grow Old Gracefully: A charming old lady revealed the secret of her fair and rosy complexion to a group of young women as follows: “Late hours,” said she, “and oversleeping ruin the complexion. Go to bed early, arise early, and you will grow old slowly, and retain your good looks to an advanced age. If, however, your position forces you into society and you are obliged to be up late at night, sleep an hour every afternoon. Before going to bed take a hot bath and remain in the water only a few moments. Then drink a cup of bouillon, and a small glass of Malaga wine. Sleep will soon follow, and last until the natural time of awakening, which is about ten o’clock in the morning under these circumstances. Take a cold plunge or sponge bath, a light breakfast of café au lait, and bread without any butter.” She continued: “Out-of-door exercise is an absolute necessity, but must not be carried to excess. A daily walk is excellent and it is scarcely necessary to say that whole days of lawn tennis, croquet, etc., are not favorable to the complexion.”
Margie: Edna, I told you to stay out of my diary, you old fool.
Edna: Margie, the day anyone describes YOU as having grown old gracefully is the day I eat my hat.
Excerpts from: The Home Library of Entertainment, Instruction, and Amusement, by Thomas Sheppard Meek. Published 1902.
Here's one for you, Margie! "Flirtation: The coquette should remember that, with every successive flirtation, one charm after another disappears, like the petals from a fading rose, until all the deliciousness of a fresh and pure character is lost." You'd better pay attention, you old hussy.
Margie: Edna, you lie. Not only have you never understood the art of flirting, but your character was lost when you turned 16.
Edna: We’re not going to get into a contest of who has the better character, because you know I’d win, you reprobate. Listen to this one: "Etiquette of the Street: A gentleman should always offer his arm to a lady in the evening. In the day this is only in order in case of the pavement being slippery, there being a crowd, or the lady being old or needing support. If there are two ladies, he should offer his arm to one, and let the other walk beside her."
Margie: So that's why all the gentlemen offer me their arm and you walk beside us. Interesting.
Edna: Margie, I only walk beside you because I don’t want to even touch the man that would offer you his arm. They usually have hygiene issues.
Oh, this one is my favorite: "How to Grow Old Gracefully: A charming old lady revealed the secret of her fair and rosy complexion to a group of young women as follows: “Late hours,” said she, “and oversleeping ruin the complexion. Go to bed early, arise early, and you will grow old slowly, and retain your good looks to an advanced age. If, however, your position forces you into society and you are obliged to be up late at night, sleep an hour every afternoon. Before going to bed take a hot bath and remain in the water only a few moments. Then drink a cup of bouillon, and a small glass of Malaga wine. Sleep will soon follow, and last until the natural time of awakening, which is about ten o’clock in the morning under these circumstances. Take a cold plunge or sponge bath, a light breakfast of café au lait, and bread without any butter.” She continued: “Out-of-door exercise is an absolute necessity, but must not be carried to excess. A daily walk is excellent and it is scarcely necessary to say that whole days of lawn tennis, croquet, etc., are not favorable to the complexion.”
Margie: Edna, I told you to stay out of my diary, you old fool.
Edna: Margie, the day anyone describes YOU as having grown old gracefully is the day I eat my hat.
Excerpts from: The Home Library of Entertainment, Instruction, and Amusement, by Thomas Sheppard Meek. Published 1902.
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