Margie and Edna take a drive

Margie: Edna, I had Cousin T wash the car so we can take a nice afternoon drive later. Bring your money for the gas, dear.

Edna: Oh no you don't, sister, I paid for gas last time! Besides, you still haven't paid me back for the gas we used to take the trip into town so you could have your hair blued.

Margie: I was going to buy the ice cream but not now. You're an old penny pincher, Edna. I never saw anybody so darned selfish. Besides, I paid for the car wash!

Edna: Margie, don't you lie to me! You just said you got Cousin T to wash the car, and I know good and well that he never accepts our money for anything that he does. You're just trying to bilk me out of gas money, and I won't have it!

Margie: That's fine, Edna. Show your old tushie to the world. I'll go driving by myself. It'll make for a more pleasant trip anyway.

Edna: By all means, go by yourself! It will give me some time to savor the peace and quiet around here.

Edna: The City Beautiful

Dear Margie,

Well, we made it to Orlando. They call it “The City Beautiful,” and I guess it does have some pretty parts. We saw lots of orange groves, but there weren’t any oranges, so I felt kind of let down. When we got outside of the city, we got close to the amusement parks. My word, I’ve never seen so many cars in my life! Not even that time that Daddy took us to that road rally down in Lubbock. I swan, everyone here drives like their you-know-whats are on fire. Makes a body worry for their own safety. I offered to drive so Itty-Biddy could take a break, but she gave me the skunk eye so I didn’t offer again.

Love, Edna


Margie: Well, it sure wasn't a "City Beautiful" while you riffraff ruined the view! As for no oranges, Edna, that's why we have grocery stores. I declare, you're a dumb one.

Lordy, Edna, you best watch that skunk eye. I heard Itty-Biddy carries a knife and has used it on folks. I hope you've learned a good lesson down there.

Itty knew not to let you drive! You're blind as a bat. You all probably would have ended up in Lubbock again or maybe Alaska.

Look at the time! I have to go make tea for the mailman!